Tag: south africa

Oh Happy Days

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I don’t think that we in South Africa are in any doubt that South Africa is going through a bit of a rough patch at the moment.  While I don’t believe everything I read in the papers, I’m not sure that you can blame this impression solely on our allegedly “anti government media”, because it does mainly seem to be down to our erstwhile government and top clown, Jacob Zuma. It’s not like the government is even bothering to properly deny stuff or explain themselves anymore: they just mumble something about some agenda and continue on to the next scandal. They really don’t appear to give toss about what the public think of them. I’ve covered the “crossing of these lines of pisstakery” in a couple of posts previously here and here.
But let’s not think that the problems end with the issues of the FIFA bribes, Nkandla, Eskom’s loadshedding and the winter rain (ok, we can’t blame them for that). Because wait, in true Verimark style, there’s more!

There is the much delayed Marikana report (about how and why the police shot dead more than 30 miners in 2012), to which the President is currently “applying his mind” [insert oft used line about how that shouldn’t take long], but of which we now know the approximate contents of, thanks to an off the cuff remark by JZ yesterday.

Even the Marikana miners were shot after killing people

So that’s the way that one is going.

And then there was the Al Bashir affair, whereby the Sudanese President escaped from/was helped to leave the country, defying a court order and the wishes of the ICC, which SA – and more specifically JZ – had signed up to.

Max du Preez spelled it out for us all on Facebook:

I think the matter is rather simple. When the ANC/government volunteered to host the AU summit and prepared for it, it knew very well that people like Mugabe would pressure it to invite Omar al-Bashir. It knew very well – and was reminded of it shortly before Bashir’s arrival by the ICC – that it had no legal ground to defy the ICC arrest warrants and South Africa’s own enabling act of parliament.
Government also knew that it would be a African diplomatic disaster to arrest Bashir and deliver him to the ICC in Europe. It must have known that there would be a very good chance that some NGO or rights group would take the matter to court. It must have known that the court was highly likely to order Bashir’s arrest. It went ahead anyway, so we can only conclude Zuma and his inner circle had made a conscious decision in advance that they would defy such a direct court order.
They went further than that: they misled the judges of the High Court – probably even blatantly lied to them – and then executed an escape plan for Bashir.
This is not about the credibility or legitimacy of the ICC. It’s about the president and the cabinet of the country defying a direct court order. Their response to criticism was to attack the court as “anti-ANC”, “anti-majoritarian” and “wanting to govern the country” – we had these arguments from Blade Nzimande and Gwede Mantashe the last two days.
Can we now expect the ANC and government to also defy a likely court order later this year that the criminal charges against Zuma be reinstated? The next step on this slippery slope is to defy the results of an election. And a slippery slope it is indeed. If our constitution tumbles, so do our freedom and stability.

There’s nothing there that seems too much of a stretch, and, as with any premeditated crime, that’s rather worrying.
The solution to this seems simple (at least, in a Belling the Cat kind of way): JZ must go. The trouble with this is that because of a distinct lack of previous action, and (let’s not overlook this) a significant amount of clever wheeling and dealing by the man himself in placing allies in influential places and taking very good care of them, there’s no-one that’s going to be able to do that.

Save maybe for the electorate. But firstly, would they, could they ever vote the ANC out of power? And secondly, as per the point raised by du Preez above, if they did, would the ANC accept the result?

Previously, I would have never believed that the first was possible. Now, given the levels of dismay and disquiet, I’m beginning to change my tune on that one. (Raising the next issue – do we have anything significantly better in the current opposition?)
Previously, I would never have believed that the second would ever happen. Now, given the lack of respect that the government is showing for the country and seemingly, for the rule of law, I’m not convinced on that either.

Yeah, as I said, happy days here in ‘the Rainbow Nation’.

Indicate when turning

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A new addition to the signposts on the approach to the Kildare Rd mini traffic circle (traffic mini circle?) in Newlands instructs drivers that it would probably help those around them if they “indicate when turning”.

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Now, I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking “But… but I do indicate when I’m turning. I mean… that’s what you do… that’s what they’re there for, isn’t it?”, and you’re right and that’s because you are a sensible driver who is probably not living in South Africa, where mind-reading on the roads is less of a staged fraud and more of a necessity.

But then, the drivers who weren’t going to indicate when turning still won’t indicate when turning, because they don’t look at signs at the side of the road. The only people who look at signs at the side of the road are drivers who were going to indicate when turning anyway.

And so, yes: the “indicate when turning” may seem a little unnecessary to you, but I have a feeling that it’s about to be joined by something even more spectacular. And that’s because sometimes a single sign simply isn’t enough.
And there’s precedent for this just down the road in the Access Park Shopping Complex:

Kenilworth - Google Maps - Google Chrome 2015-05-19 025651 PM.bmp

Yes, please enjoy this screenshot from Google Maps, containing what is still one of the most bizarre traffic signs I have seen in South Africa anywhere. For those of you with utterly appalling eyesight, just under the big red NO ENTRY sign (and just above the words “NO” and “ENTRY” painted 2m high on the road) are the words:

PLEASE OBEY THIS TRAFFIC SIGN

Who is this aimed at, exactly? Most people will not even have considered not obeying the traffic sign in the first place (although maybe now you’ve sown the seeds of mischief). And if the people who weren’t going to obey the traffic sign in the first place weren’t going to obey the traffic sign in the first place, what makes you think they’re going to obey the writing underneath it asking them to obey it? I’m not sure where the logic comes in “Let’s ask them to do as it says, and then they’ll do as it says.”
Or are you expecting some sort of selective disobedience? Has some sort of psychological assessment of the average wrong-way-up-a-one-way-street driver been done? And if so, was this really deduced to be the best policy to halt their errant behaviour?

And you’re asking them nicely too – none of that straightforward “do this” of the “indicate when turning” signage. Manners maketh the man and they apparently maketh the more polite and therefore better adhered to road signage as well.

Personally, I can’t believe it works, but assuming it does, there’s still plenty of room just underneath the “indicate when turning” sign for another, stating: “we’d really appreciate it if you took notice of this request, please”.

And then, when leaving the traffic circle, a “thanks a lot” wouldn’t go amiss either.

Poorly timed giraffe danger warning

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I’m going to look at some wildlife this weekend. I hope, anyway. Wildlife is exactly that: wild, and sometimes it doesn’t want to be looked at. Mostly, when it doesn’t want to be looked at, wildlife hides away, but sometimes, wildlife fights back and even the most unlikely of wildlife can be deadly.

I’m not talking about lions, hippos, rhinos or elephants here – you look at them and you think DANGER! Teeths, tusks, horns, speed, weight, bulk. DANGER!
But tall isn’t scary. When you look at a giraffe, you just see bewilderingly puny looking legs and neck. Giraffes don’t look dangerous. They look like one of those string and wood toys that you push the base on and they collapse. You let giraffes play with your kids’ cuddly toys:

No. Giraffes aren’t dangerous. Or are they? Because here’s what was waiting for me on the pisspoor TimesLive site this morning:

Cyclist trampled to death by giraffe

The giraffe probably got irritated by some typically arrogant RLJ’ing behaviour.

A Sunday afternoon cycle ride for Braan Bosse of Nigel, on the Far East Rand, ended in his death when he was attacked by a giraffe at the Thaba Monata Game Lodge, in Bela Bela, Limpopo.
Lodge owner Marily Abatemarco believes Bosse, 46, was trampled to death.

Rather unusual, though, right? I thought so too.
But then, somewhere deep in my memory, I found this:

Seventy-year-old Schalk Hagen died without telling anyone exactly what happened to him. Now the prime suspect in his death is a giraffe.

I was quite ready to cower away from the lions and the elephants this weekend. Now it seems that I have to hide from the bloody giraffes as well. Seriously?
You don’t get this sort of danger in the UK – sure, you might come across a vaguely irritated badger or a mildly disgruntled fox, but they’re not going to smash your skull in, eat you or jump up and down all over your rapidly spatchcocked corpse just because they’re anxious to be seen to be living up to their “wildlife” moniker. I didn’t move here for this – if I’d wanted constant animal-related danger, I would have chosen Australia. (Spoiler: No, I wouldn’t – it’s full of Australians.)

Anyway, my new plan is to stay in the short scrub, where there is limited danger of unforeseen giraffe attack (aside, of course, from the extremely sneaky limbo giraffe) (but fortunately they’re pretty rare in the Western Cape).

Freedom

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Ages (one year) before Mel Gibson did his thing in a kilt, although some time after Bill Wallace allegedly shouted the same stuff, came 1994 and South Africa’s first democratic elections, as today’s Google doodle reminded us.

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Much has been achieved in the 21 years, although I think that you’d be absolutely correct if you were to say that a whole lot more could have been done with a bit better government and a great deal less corruption.

One Direction in Cape Town

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Today’s the day, tonight’s the night. One Direction madness has taken over the Mother City as everyone looks forward to seeing the Famous Five Four on stage later. I surrendered my tickets -in exchange for a reasonable sum of money – to someone who actually wanted to go, so I’m going to miss out on all the excitement in Green Point. Still, being just 11.21km from the Stadium (as the crow flies, and providing it avoids Devils Peak), I’m going to have to take extra care of the beagle this evening: it has very sensitive hearing, you know?

For those of you who are joining me in not being there this evening, here’s just a taste of what we’re missing.

Those voices. That confidence. That chorus! Such power.

If you are going along – have fun.
I’m almost sad to say I’m not going to be there. Almost.