Tag: Cape Town

Sherlock Holmes has entered the chat

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The London-based, Victorian detective is famed as being one of the greatest sleuths of all time, but I think that he might finally have met his match, just 138 years after he first appeared in A Study in Scarlet.

Sure, Holmes may have worked out that The Hound Of The Baskervilles was just a dog painted with phosphorous. He might have deduced that Jefferson Hope killed Drebber and Stangerson, but he would surely have been flummoxed by some of the modern mysteries that plague us today.

Thankfully, I have found someone on Reddit. Someone who shall remain nameless: let’s call them No-Entrance4253 (because that’s their name on Reddit), who has not only asked a question, but then formed their own possible hypothesis as to what might be going on.

Look at that. Just look at it. Wow.

The human mind does not get any more brilliantly analytical than this.

Holmes might have had his:

When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.

but No-Entrance4253 left the impossible right out of this. No-Entrance4253 then completely disregarded the improbable and went straight for the jugular of truth. There’s no water in my house in Newlands. There is a burst water main in Newlands. Could these two things be connected? YES, THEY COULD.

You can’t be sure, though. You can’t just dive in and assume that correlation is causation. So just add the word “maybe” into that second statement. Play it safe.

The only way to really convince the audience, which is collectively fawning over your mental abilities, is to post on the Cape Town subreddit and see what people say. Sherlock Holmes never had this sort of luxury: he had to put a Classified Advertisement in The Times of London, looking for some sort of validation. It took days to get a response, maybe even weeks.

No-Entrance4253 immediately got several responses, amazingly absolutely none of them taking the piss (I was sitting on my hands).

Incredible.

Tune into 6000 miles… again tomorrow, as we watch local Reddit user LilywhiteFormat271 take on one of the biggest mathematical questions that humanity has ever faced, and come up with a shocking answer of… 4.

Cigarettes After Sex: gentle, monochrome joy

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I’ll be honest. I wasn’t sure what to expect from last night’s concert at Grand West.

Texas band Cigarettes After Sex were in town (and they are again tonight), and while I love their music, I’m far from their target audience.

Except, do they actually have a target audience? Because it seemed to all intents and purposes that they were just there last night to enjoy playing their music. And maybe that’s it: the age of the audience stretched from 12 to 70, and so while there might be some demographic or other to whom their music appeals more than another (it’s white, mainly female, teenage and 20-somethings, if you want to know), I don’t think that the band really cares at all.

And that’s fine.

I don’t think I’ve ever been to a concert that’s had less band interaction with the audience. Literally “This is our first concert in Cape Town. We really appreciate you all coming along”, halfway through the set, and “Thank you, Cape Town. We love each and every one of you”, at the end. And that was it.

But that was also fine.

It left more room for the music – which is what I was there for – and (as I mentioned above), clearly what they were there for, too.

No flashy lights, no colour. Just a lot of spots, white LEDs and all of the CO2 that they could muster. They began playing in a light “tank”, with dry ice walls lit between them and the audience, but those came down early on, leaving light beams picking out the band members in front of a huge screen full of monochromatic images and videos of moonrises, sunsets, grasses, clouds, rain and snow.

This was very simple stuff, done simply.

And then for the big finale – Apocalypse – a couple of MASSIVE glitter balls which filled the place with dancing, shimmering stars for a couple of breathtaking, spine tingling minutes.

Randall and Jacob never moved from their respective stations, while lead singer Greg Gonzalez occasionally marched down to the front or out to the wings of the stage and offered up his guitar to the audience like some sort of subservient soul looking for praise or recognition, as he delivered the final riff of a song.

It might all have seemed rather emotionless, and yet it was weirdly, deeply spiritual at the same time. Outwardly cold, and yet completely captivating. I was entranced, and I could have spent literally hours just listening to their music. And I think that they could have spent hours just playing it for us.

Tejano Blue and Nothing’s Gonna Hurt You Baby were memorable, while Dreaming Of You was surprisingly rocky and upbeat, before Apocalypse brought the house down (as much as something that slow, gentle and profoundly beautiful could break anything other than hearts). And then Opera House as a single track encore was just gorgeous.

So, after all my wondering before the evening began, am I now more sure of what I got?
Yes, I suppose so.

All in all a rather odd, but really incredible performance that will live long in the memory.

Alfred & Marc: The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

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We were at the Baxter last night to see the Alfred & Marc comedy show:

Popular SA comedians Alfred Adriaan and Marc Lottering join forces to bring you their best material as performed over the last few years. Both comics have been packing out theatres locally and abroad, and their respective fans can expect to be treated to two hours of sheer hilarity.

And it was very good fun. So you should know that they were very happy to announce to us that they have extended the run until the 11th January next year.

As ever, I’m all about complete honesty in my reviews of things and stuff, so I’ve compiled the best bits, the ok bits and the could-do-better bits of the evening into a quick three-way guide, inspired by a Western movie from the mid-1960s.

The Good

The Show. It was really funny. Sure, I know that I wasn’t absolutely the target demographic, but I still enjoyed it. And the house was PACKED with a lot of people (who mainly were the target demographic) having a great time, which, with all the crap going on in the world (including while we were in there), was just really heartwarming.

We’d seen some of Marc Lottering’s act before at his show in Camps Bay back in October (we’d been warned that this was a repeat of past material see the blurb above), but there was plenty of fresh stuff and plenty of comment on current affairs as well.
Alfred Adriaan was new to me, but his refreshing honesty and clever observational comedy on SA and relationships was very funny and very… well… relatable, despite our rather different backgrounds (the similarity between all of us actually being one of the points he made throughout his act).

It was all hugely energetic and really enjoyable.

Add to that the very nice food in the foyer – thank you, Prashad Cafe – the availability of Castle Milk Stout at the bar (YES BOYS!), and the early 90s dance soundtrack on the way in, and I was already in a good mood before I even saw anyone on stage.

The Bad

“Bad”? This seems harsh, in the same way that not describing “The Good” as “Great” seems harsh, but then I didn’t name the cowboy movie, did I?

So ok: not “Bad”, but just… “not Great”.

It was a bit long.

(That’s what she said) (sorry)

Maybe a bit of a personal thing, because my Afrikaans isn’t all that it could be (number of Afrikaans lessons I’ve ever been in = zero), but it was hard work trying to pick up all the very fast, very regular Afrikaans asides and punchlines. Remembering that they well delivered in full Coloured dialect as well.

That said, I reckon that I got nearly all of Lottering’s stuff, and probably about 80% of Adriaan’s. But man, into the second half I was tired, and I was losing concentration and – yikes – maybe a bit of enjoyment with it. 2 hours (plus a 20 minute interval) was really more than enough. Absolutely no disrespect to the comedians, because they kept going and going full pelt, but I was struggling to keep up by the end.

And honestly, I don’t think most of the rest of the audience had the same issue.

The Ugly

If “The Good” should have been “Great” and “The Bad” was better described as just “Not Great”, then this is still “Really Ugly”.

The seats in the Baxter Concert Hall. Who decided on them?

SO DAMN UNCOMFORTABLE.

Cramped front to back and side to side. Once you’d been in there for a hour, you were broken.
And then you had to go back and do another hour.

Thank goodness for the naughty humour – which hasn’t rubbed off on me (careful now) – at all.

Nowhere to put your legs, your knees around the ears of the guy in front of you (stop it), and just really distracting and off-putting. I woke up so stiff this morning (no) because of it. How bad was it? Well, when looking at future performances, I’d seriously consider not going for a long one (oi) if I found out that it was in that auditorium.

Very disappointing.

BUT… that was really the only downside of a really good evening, and so if these guys are your thing (and it’s not like their style will be unknown to you, is it?), then you should go along and have a good laugh.

Just maybe book a yoga class for the next morning, so you can really stretch it out (ooer!).

Admyt hits Canal Walk – save LOADS!

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It’s still one of the finds of recent times for me. It saved my son half an hour of queuing to pay for parking after the football last week. It means I don’t have to worry about whether a place takes cards for parking payments or if I have change or where I put my parking ticket or anything.

It’s live across SA at loads of locations, with more being added on a regular basis. Just like the behemoth mall that is Canal Walk. And because it’s launching there in Black Friday week, they’ve got a double deal on just for you. And you. OK, you as well.

Firstly, save R20 off your first (paid) parking by using my referral code when you sign up:

TRE162273

And then, once Admyt launches at Canal Walk on Thursday 28th, you can have free parking…

…for THREE DAYS there on Friday, Saturday and Sunday with the promo codes below:

  • Free parking on Fri, 29 November | Promo code: CWBF29
  • Free parking on Sat, 30 November | Promo code: CWBF30
  • Free parking on Sun, 1 December | Promo code: CWBF01

So that’s no ticket to lose, no change to have to find to pay, no queues to brave on the way out when you’re exhausted and just want to go home, and that swanky VIP feeling as you drive to the barrier and it opens to wave you straight through.

The first three are really handy; the last one is still just very cool.

Sign up on the interwebs here (not forgetting that referral code: TRE162273), and then get the app on Apple here, or Google here.

Murk

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When spring finally came, it came in HOT!

Temperatures have been into the 30s for most of the last week, and with the still, warm air over the city, the air quality has been noticeably decreasing. But what we’re seeing (or not seeing, because it’s so polluted) at the moment is only classed as “Moderate” on the AQI (Air Quality Index (low numbers are better numbers)) scale:

But look at that: today’s allegedly “Moderate” levels have nothing on tomorrow, where – in the early afternoon – we’re looking at “Very Unhealthy” air quality, before returning to something altogether (well, slightly) more satisfactory on Wednesday and Thursday.

Here’s the AQI scale for reference:

And you’ll note immediately that we run up 3 steps to the penultimate level of nastiness in the next 24 hours. That’s mainly due to high counts for PM2.5 and low level ozone:

PM2.5, (also written PM2.5) are tiny particles of dust or soot – especially prevalent in vehicle exhaust fumes – and which are contributing to the murky, hazy atmosphere over the city at the moment.

Then – and bear with me here – add in those high levels of low level ozone…

Yes, I know it’s a bit confusing: high levels of high level ozone are good – thanks for using your roll-on deodorant back in the 1980s and 90s – but we really only want the ozone about 20 or 25km up there, and not at ground level:

Ground-level ozone or the “bad” ozone that forms closer to the Earth in the air we breathe. This ozone is not usually emitted directly, but rather forms from chemical reactions between oxides of nitrogen (NOx) and volatile organic compounds (VOCs) in sunlight.

These pollutants can have acute effects on people who suffer with asthma or other respiratory diseases. Especially at these hugely elevated levels. It’s not called “Very Unhealthy” just for shits and giggles (neither of which are symptoms, by the way).
Longer term effects can include cardio-vascular problems and issues in pregnancy, but we’re fortunate in Cape Town that while quite ugly, these are fairly rare levels for this little corner of Africa.

A small cold front passing over or near to the Cape on Wednesday will see a lot of this nastiness blown out into the South Atlantic where it can dissipate and harm the wildlife instead of us important humans.

But in the meantime, if you are sensitive to pollution and/or you do suffer from asthma or a respiratory illness, you might want to take steps to protect yourself from what promises to be a rather unpleasant day tomorrow.

Stay safe.