Category: this is south africa

Who Threw Poo?

Posted on

Was it you?

Probably not, according to the Provincial Government, unless your name appears on the:

dossier of information relating to the individuals responsible for these attacks

And if you’re not from these parts, then “these attacks” refers to the fact that (and here I advised you to switch off the mental image creating part of your brain):

from May until August 2013, the province has been the location of various acts of political violence involving the use of human faeces.

There have been over 100 of these attacks, and they result in regular closures of major roads (usually the N2) – something which affects everyone, least of all Helen Zille.
The dossier is helpfully presented in Microsoft PowerPoint (an appropriately crap means of sharing information), and can be seen online here.

Basically, the Province says that there are are a small number of poopetrators – 11 to be exact – who are instigating the poo protests:

One aspect of this campaign involves faeces attacks in various locations, including regularly blocking a major highway and access to the airport.
This spate of faeces attacks is clearly well-co-ordinated and politically-motivated, forming part of the ANC Youth League’s self-declared and oft-repeated “ungovernability campaign”. Today we are releasing information we have gathered and details of compelling evidence which shows just this.

shIt then goes on to list those who they believe have led these unpleasant attacks as:

  • Sithembele Majova
  • Sibusiso “Mqithi” Zonke
  • Nangamso “Kavin” Tshutha
  • Khaya Kama
  • Bongile Zanazo
  • Bongani Ncombolo
  • Andile Lili
  • Loyiso Nkohla
  • Mario Wanza
  • Sulyman Stellenboom
  • Songezo Mvandaba

And what have the local government done? Well, “as a first and appropriate step” they have informed the poolice service about it:

we have handed this information to the South African Police Service for further investigation. They must also obtain statements from the many eyewitnesses and the suspects themselves, subpoena their cellphone records (since they claim to organise via cellphones) and conduct normal police investigations. What we have is prima facie evidence as the basis for investigation. That is why we have submitted it to the police.

The Police, eh? Good thinking. I’m so glad that’s only taken you 3½ months to work out that this would be a good idea. I imagine that this will now all be completely sorted out by never.

And this marks the first of my posts to get the “elections” tag with reference to 2014.
Oh joy.

There’s a bit of snow on Table Mountain this morning

Posted on

After a chilly night, and, as widely predicted (see earlier posts on this blog), Table Mountain has got a very light dusting of snow this morning.
Herewith the webcam image from 0645:

image

Although there is a chance of more snow today, things are already warming up, so this might be as much as we see this year.

UPDATE: And at 0715 – can I see a couple of falling flakes?

image

Here’s the link to their webcam.
And here’s the News24 gallery.

“So, what’s it going to be?”

Posted on

Bashar Al-Assad taunts US and allies in new web article.

With the world on tenterhooks over the situation in his country, Syrian President Bashar Al-Assad has written an open letter to the West taunting them over their seeming lack of options with regard to intervention (or not) in Syria:

Well, here we are. It’s been two years of fighting, over 100,000 people are dead, there are no signs of this war ending, and a week ago I used chemical weapons on my own people. If you don’t do anything about it, thousands of Syrians are going to die. If you do something about it, thousands of Syrians are going to die. Morally speaking, you’re on the hook for those deaths no matter how you look at it.

So, it’s your move, America. What’s it going to be?

I’ve looked at your options, and I’m going to be honest here, I feel for you. Not exactly an embarrassment of riches you’ve got to choose from, strategy-wise. I mean, my God, there are just so many variables to consider, so many possible paths to choose, each fraught with incredible peril, and each leading back to the very real, very likely possibility that no matter what you do it’s going to backfire in a big, big way. It’s a good old-fashioned mess, is what this is! And now, you have to make some sort of decision that you can live with.

And he’s right, of course. This a complete no win situation for the West. And with Russia and China strongly backing Al-Assad regime, there’s the danger of things going all sorts of Taylor Swift if the US and chums move in.
Here in SA, we’re tucked away from the military side of things, but we’re still economically involved (as a developing economy, we’re the first to get shafted by this sort of unrest) and, of course, politically. Basically, the SA government will side strongly against the US on anything it can. So that means that tacitly, we’re fully in support of Syria using chemical weapons on its own men, women and children.

Nice.

It’s also interesting to note how politicians have dealt with the situation: UK opposition leader Ed Milliband, for example, has said this week that his party would back military action and also that his party would not back military action. So that’s fairly clear then.

Al-Assad leaves us with this chilling warning:

Long story short, I’m going to keep doing my best to hold on to my country no matter what the cost. If that means bombing entire towns, murdering small children, or shooting at UN weapons inspectors, so be it. I’m in this for the long haul. And you will do…whatever it is you’re going to do, which is totally up to you. Your call.

The man’s a cold, calm, calculated nutter.

No easy way out of this, and sadly there’ll be no good news coming out of Syria any time soon.

Oh, and for those of you who have been bothered to read this far down, yes, I’m completely aware that it’s a satirical article from a satirical website.

Is possibility of snow on Table Mountain tomorrow night still on?

Posted on

Just to keep you inquisitive people who keep asking if we’re still on for a few flakes of the white stuff on Table Mountain tomorrow night,  in the loop – and if you’re in Cape Town today, then you’ll readily believe anything the weather has to throw at us – here’s an update.

Following on from this post which compared the frankly ludicrous claims of mountain-forecast.com – it’s a weather forecast site for mountains, innit? – with those more reasonable efforts of windguru and weathersa, we need to tell you right now that the whole snow on Table Mountain thing IS STILL POSSIBLE.

What we’re looking for is temperatures below 2°C at 1000m or below, together with forecasted precipitation. That, plus that will likely equal snow. And here’s the graph that matters:

cold

Yeah. If you thought today was cold, you’d be right, but it’s only going to get colder when tomorrow comes around.

The blue line marks the height above sea level (in metres) at which you’ll experience an air temperature of 0°C. Looking at the contours just below that, you can see that the altitude at which we’ll have 2°C temperatures dips about as low as 800m during Thursday night and Friday morning. Add in cloudy skies and a (current) forecast of about 7-8mm of precipitation and all the ingredients are there.

As things stand right now, your best plan is to wrap up VERY warmly and head for the Cableway early on Friday morning.

Book online to save time and money. Avoid awkward allegations of sexism by making a snowperson. Avoiding awkward allegations of racism will be more difficult, because snow is previously advantaged.

The Varying Prices Of A Prime Circle Concert Ticket

Posted on

We were going to go along to see Prime Circle on Thursday night, but something came up, so we’re not going  to do that any more.

That said, if we were desperate to catch them on their acoustic tour of the Western Cape, there are/were several other opportunities:

prc

But look at those prices. Some few variations, no?

I recognise that venue costs and ticket sales may differ from place to place, but can a difference of 108.3% for the same concert really be justified? Prime Circle are well established on the local scene and I’m sure they’ve rehearsed ahead of time. I can’t honestly believe that they will be 108.3% better this Thursday in Hout Bay than they were last Friday at the Waterfront.

As musicreview.co.za pointed out, lovely though they may be, R250 for 60 minutes with a local band is a bit of a stretch:

…we find it disturbing that a South African band (and obviously the events organiser and venue behind it), could think that it is appropriate for live music goers to spend R250 on an ‘unreserved seating’ ticket, with absolutely no perks and no support acts for a 1 hour performance on a Thursday night.

But then, it is at an ever so trendy, local ‘farmers’ market‘, where people mysteriously seem willing to pay extra for stuff just… because.

Anyway, as I pointed out, we’re not going along, but if you’re planning on doing so, then maybe go last week and not on Thursday. As a couple, I’m sure you could find something reasonable to do with the R260 you’ll be saving.

* (un)surprisingly, there are still many tickets available for Thursday evening.