Day 286 – Ja Well No Fine

OK. So the phrase :

Ja Well No Fine

is a Southafricanism which means… well anything you want it to, really.

Afrikaans ja (“yes”) followed by English words, with echoes of Afrikaans ja nee (literally “yes no”), which in various contexts signals either whole-hearted or uncertain, possibly politely dissenting, agreement.

ja well no fine
Variously expressing ridicule, irony, indifference, boggling, or ambivalence, possibly in combination, depending on tone and context.

I guess it’s most widely used as a loose “Whatever”. That’s the closest I can get, anyway.

However, in this case, it’s a whole lot more literal.

I got my first speeding fine through the post today. 30+ years of good driving, blemish-free, but the evidence was clear to see: there was my Yoshimi, with my number plates on, apparently travelling at n+several kph in an n kph zone near Bredasdorp. Oops.


Until, that is, I looked more carefully at the date on the fine and realised that I wasn’t in Bredasdorp that day. My Yoshimi was, with my number plates on, but with my wife at the wheel.


Ja. Well. No fine*.



* for me, at least

Tuesday ephemera

Lots of interesting stuff* around today, so rather than lots of little posts, one all-encompassing behemoth containing all you need to know.

BEWARE THE MONKEY MAN! A baboon has been kicked out of his troop near Bredasdorp, according to Cape Agulhas Municipality:

Please note that a male baboon was kicked out of his troop and is roaming the edges of Bredasdorp town. He may enter the residential areas and the public is warned to be careful and not approach or agitate the baboon. The Municipality is working with Cape Nature to resolve the matter.

Which is all well and good (unless he breaks into your place and poos on the kitchen counter again), but if you run the Afrikaans version through Google Translate, you get this:

There is a monkey man roaming the town limits of Bredasdorp and it is feared that he moved into the neighbourhoods. He appears by his pack kicked. The public is warned not to confront the monkey man and stay away from him.

And I think that’s the way that all official CAM press announcements should be made from now on.

BEAM ME UP, SCOTTY! Captain Kirk watches Miley Cyrus’ MTV VMAs performance:

Brilliant! (via @DrRousseau)

BLOODY ELK! A gang of angry drunken elk barred a man from entering his home in suburban Stockholm on Tuesday, leaving the frightened homeowner no choice but to call police for help.

“They can be really dangerous. They become fearless. Instead of backing away when a person approaches, they move toward you. They may even take a run at you.” The incident involved four adult elk and one calf, Näverberg explained, all of whom were intoxicated after having eaten fermented apples that had fallen from the homeowner’s apple tree.

Worth clicking through just for the photo.

LONDON SKYSCRAPER IS SOLAR DEATH RAY! London’s Walkie-Talkie building’s mirrored frontage is focusing the sun’s rays onto the street below and melting cars and bikes. Seriously.


On the plus side, it seems to keep the elks away, and they could makes some cash from it:

Dr James Keaveney of the University of Durham’s Atomic and Molecular Physics department said it appeared to be an inherent flaw in the building: “It’s a concave shape so it’s going to have a focussing [sic] effect on the light that is reflected from it.
There’s a power station in Spain that works on this principle. They have an array of mirrors that focusses [sic] light into a central pillar –?if it’s 60°C you could get solar panels and get some energy out of it.”

UPDATE: Some funny tweets on this here.

FIT FOR A KING! Well, a Prince anyway. A Saudi Prince has bought a 50% stake in The Mighty Red And White Wizzzzzzzaaaaaards:

A member of Saudi Arabia’s royal family, Prince Abdullah bin Mosaad bin Abdulaziz Al Saud, has bought a 50 per cent stake in Sheffield United’s parent company for £1, The Star can reveal.
In return the 47-year-old has agreed to provide “substantial new capital” designed to help the club return to the Premier League “as quickly as possible.”
Plc chairman Kevin McCabe refused to reveal the exact sums of money involved but recently described them as being a potential “game-changer.’

What could possibly go wrong? Premiership Champions by 2016*.

*T&Cs apply


Someone recently commented that this is the time of year when Capetonians stop complaining about the cold and start complaining about the wind. And that someone was right. With spring comes the SouthEaster, the Cape Doctor, which stays with us until December, or, if we’re going to be completely realistic about this, March-ish.
Agulhas gets it too and we’ve been treated to a fine display today. Really blowy.
Already covered by a fine layer of sand, we headed inland to Bredasdorp and the Shipwreck Museum.


And what a find. As a family of four, you don’t get much entertainment for R60 these days, but this was pretty special.
Artifacts and history from the 150-odd shipwrecks which have occurred around Agulhas, plus some vintage vehicles (the highlight being a 1905 Cape Town fire engine) and an entire Victorian household which looked like it hadn’t been touched since… well… since then, actually. The kids got educated and I’m still not sure they even realise it.

There was also a lovely garden out at the back, complete with cat, which the youngest member of our party wanted to take with her and expressed her acute disappointment when we refused. Thankfully, all was forgotten (including the cat’s name) with the clever addition of a biscuit.

There are photos, there’s just not bandwidth, so I’ll get them up later in the week.

UPDATE: Photos here (minus many that were lost by a corrupt SD card – we’ll have to go again). Also, never realised how horrid the image in this post was. Only saw it on a 3″ phone screen – looked ok there – sorry.