Tuesday ephemera

Lots of interesting stuff* around today, so rather than lots of little posts, one all-encompassing behemoth containing all you need to know.

BEWARE THE MONKEY MAN! A baboon has been kicked out of his troop near Bredasdorp, according to Cape Agulhas Municipality:

Please note that a male baboon was kicked out of his troop and is roaming the edges of Bredasdorp town. He may enter the residential areas and the public is warned to be careful and not approach or agitate the baboon. The Municipality is working with Cape Nature to resolve the matter.

Which is all well and good (unless he breaks into your place and poos on the kitchen counter again), but if you run the Afrikaans version through Google Translate, you get this:

There is a monkey man roaming the town limits of Bredasdorp and it is feared that he moved into the neighbourhoods. He appears by his pack kicked. The public is warned not to confront the monkey man and stay away from him.

And I think that’s the way that all official CAM press announcements should be made from now on.

BEAM ME UP, SCOTTY! Captain Kirk watches Miley Cyrus’ MTV VMAs performance:

Brilliant! (via @DrRousseau)

BLOODY ELK! A gang of angry drunken elk barred a man from entering his home in suburban Stockholm on Tuesday, leaving the frightened homeowner no choice but to call police for help.

“They can be really dangerous. They become fearless. Instead of backing away when a person approaches, they move toward you. They may even take a run at you.” The incident involved four adult elk and one calf, Näverberg explained, all of whom were intoxicated after having eaten fermented apples that had fallen from the homeowner’s apple tree.

Worth clicking through just for the photo.

LONDON SKYSCRAPER IS SOLAR DEATH RAY! London’s Walkie-Talkie building’s mirrored frontage is focusing the sun’s rays onto the street below and melting cars and bikes. Seriously.


On the plus side, it seems to keep the elks away, and they could makes some cash from it:

Dr James Keaveney of the University of Durham’s Atomic and Molecular Physics department said it appeared to be an inherent flaw in the building: “It’s a concave shape so it’s going to have a focussing [sic] effect on the light that is reflected from it.
There’s a power station in Spain that works on this principle. They have an array of mirrors that focusses [sic] light into a central pillar –?if it’s 60°C you could get solar panels and get some energy out of it.”

UPDATE: Some funny tweets on this here.

FIT FOR A KING! Well, a Prince anyway. A Saudi Prince has bought a 50% stake in The Mighty Red And White Wizzzzzzzaaaaaards:

A member of Saudi Arabia’s royal family, Prince Abdullah bin Mosaad bin Abdulaziz Al Saud, has bought a 50 per cent stake in Sheffield United’s parent company for £1, The Star can reveal.
In return the 47-year-old has agreed to provide “substantial new capital” designed to help the club return to the Premier League “as quickly as possible.”
Plc chairman Kevin McCabe refused to reveal the exact sums of money involved but recently described them as being a potential “game-changer.’

What could possibly go wrong? Premiership Champions by 2016*.

*T&Cs apply

Breakfast & Baboons & Buffoons at the Porter Estate Market

It’s been a while since we headed down to Zwaanswyk and the Porter Estate Saturday Morning Market. Lots to see and do here, but first, it was breakfast time and while the kids amused themselves in the sandpit and on the jungle gym, I amused myself with bacon, egg, veal sausage and onion. Which was nice and exceptionally good value at R40.

Add to that an enamel cupful of the local Moer Koffie:

Now, Moer Koffie is a strong, dark brew. The kind of stuff you want to drink after you’re had a moer se nag out on Long Street, like we had. I’m not even sure what type of beans are in there and honestly, I don’t think anyone really cares because the senses are far too intrigued by the enamel cups and condensed milk condiments. Please promise me that you won’t try it with the illusion that Moer Koffie is going to effortlessly win any awards, because I really don’t think that’s the point. Even still, it’s still worth the experience of drinking something other than the usual brands that ferry their wiles through the mainstream.

You have to be a bit careful at fresh produce markets like these. The produce is good and rather difficult to resist – olives, bread, olives, sausage, olives and olives – but it’s also often expensive. The lamb chops at R98 a kilo are a good example.
Oh, and this morning, you also had to be careful to avoid mountain bikers cycling through the market. There’s actually no sign saying that they can’t cycle right through the middle of the couple of hundred people (and kids) there, but I think that’s probably because it should just be common sense. After all, it’s not like there are signs in multi-storey car parks telling you not to jump off the top floor or at Spur telling you to slap the kids in the playroom – it’s simply reasonable behaviour.

Cyclists claim that they get picked on a lot, but in my opinion, they deserve it.
This guy is the exception that proves the rule:

One further issue at the market this morning was the troop of about 40 baboons which was heading towards the market when we arrived. Fortunately, they stayed away, as they would surely have ransacked the place and eaten all the pricey lamb chops.

Do baboons like olives?