He’s Not Wrong

Sean Dyche makes a good point:

It’s true. Kids are very impressionable. When I were a lad, whenever we saw anything different or exciting in the football over the weekend, there would be loads of us trying it out in the playground on Monday morning. I wonder how many kids were “moving the ball” (and the foam) before taking their free kicks, after Ivan Toney did it, and after it was praised so roundly by all the pundits?

As we remarked at the time, moving the ball might have been seen as being “a bit clever”. But as soon as he moved the foam as well, well, it was clear that he knew he was cheating.

Sure, it’s not the biggest thing in the world, but it is symptomatic of the way that some bits of football are going. And the well-paid, “celebrity” pundits sitting in the cosy, warm studios are – for some weird reason – encouraging it.
So why not start with the small stuff and actually note that Toney was deliberately breaking the rules, rather than admiring his actions? Just say that it was wrong. You don’t have to want him to be banned for 8 months: he can do that himself.

Also, I quite enjoyed this quote because he’s basically taken three whole paragraphs to just say “Fuck you, Michael Owen”.

It’s something I regularly find very easy to condense into just those four words.

Oh, and also, one more thing: I put this graphic up on our football team Whatsapp group this morning and no fewer than six people agreed with it. All of them dads. We’re bringing up our kids right. Forza.

Not a good day

Another bad day at the office for United. Except it isn’t an office and we’re growing tired of bad days and running out of time to have good ones.

Highlight of the day then was probably a visit to the Investec Cape Town Art Fair. And that was mainly for the people watching. Much of the art was suitably inexplicable and unnecessarily pretentious – especially in their titles:

although some of the actual artwork was really quite interesting:

And there were some eye-wateringly big numbers in numbers on the price tags.

I think this one was a neon Mother Theresa. (jks, obvs)

Yeah, so if those were the highlights, then you can see why I’m looking forward to my bed this evening.

We go again tomorrow.

At life, I mean. I’ll save my money on a return to the Art Fair.

The Impossible Dream

It’s been a hot day in Cape Town, and it’s been a busy one too. I would love to be sitting at home in front of a warm TV right now, but it’s Monday evening and it’s Dodgeball training, so I’m out in my car park. Given that I am out here, I would love to be sitting in my car park with the windows down and the fresh breeze blowing the heat of the day away.

Sadly, there appears to be a raw sewage issue somewhere in the vicinity. It’s literally nauseating.

Anyway, not much I can do about the thick pooey odour enveloping everything here.

So here’s a video I watched earlier. A great tale, 17 years in the making, some amazing videography, and some important lessons about recognising when it’s time to give up.

We all have our impossible dreams and we all have our limits. How we choose (or are able) to balance one against the other, and how much value we place on each will likely define our successes. It doesn’t have to be running marathons. For example, Forest Drive (Bishopscourt, not Pinelands) kicked my arse again today. That’s a 750m bit of asphalt, not 42km of American city roads, but that’s my current nemesis. But I’ll return on a cooler – but equally steep day – to fight back.

And I will beat it. Or I’ll give up.

One of the two.

United & Off The Pitch

My beloved Blades sent out a press release this week. They’ve teamed up with a company called Off The Pitch. OTP appear to do data analysis around the business of football. I’m not into business data of any sort, but I do know when there’s some corporate BS being used, and this press release was full of it.

But of course it was, because when I went to the ABOUT US section of OTP’s website, I was greeted with this:

Did someone drop the word “media” in there just for shits and giggles? Or am I missing something to do with the English language here? Because however I try to phrase this punctuation-free header, I can’t get seem to get it to make sense.
At the very least, surely if you’re going to use “is”, you have to use “medium“, right?

Basically, it seems to me that we’re buying this package so we can pay less for our players and pay our players less in the future.

But then the press release is packed full of boardroomisms and buzzwords:

Carl Shieber, Sheffield United’s Head of Football Administration, expressed his enthusiasm about the partnership: “Our partnership with Off The Pitch opens a realm of opportunities for Sheffield United. It provides an invaluable platform for benchmarking against other clubs, both domestically and internationally. This alliance is a step towards a more analytical approach in our business, commercial development, and player trading strategies.”

“Alliance”, “Platform”, “Benchmarking” and “Strategies”. Nice try, Carl.

But then OTP CEO Mads blows him away with this spiel:

Mads Meisner Christensen, Co-founder and CEO of Off The Pitch, shared his thoughts on this significant agreement: “We are excited to equip Sheffield United with a diverse range of tools to enhance their operational efficiency. This partnership is set to provide Sheffield United with a strategic edge in the transfer market, helping them to identify and leverage market inefficiencies for optimal results.”

Blimey! “Leverage” alone is worth 10 points! “Optimal” and “Strategic” are just the icing on the cake.

The thing is, how are we supposed to have any sort of edge – strategic or not – in the transfer market, when it seems like most of the clubs in Europe are using this same system? Did we pay more for the gold edition or something?

I don’t pretend to get it. I don’t have to get it.

But if we could just use plain English from now on, I would have more chance of getting it.