Tag: twitter

And talking of beaches…

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(Because we have been doing that today).

This tweet:

ctd

u wot, m8?

586

Why?!? Why, Allison?!?  Because:

IT’S. A. BEACH. 

That’s why.

I mean, fair play if you want to have a pop at the council because the N1 is covered in piles of sea shells or the local municipal tennis courts are covered in piles of sea shells. That shouldn’t be happening.
But this isn’t those places. This is a beach. That’s where seashells happen. Beaches are where you get seashells. She (whoever “she” is) infamously sells them right there, on the sea shore.

What on earth are you thinking, Allison? Where will this madness end? Which other Cape Town tourist sites are you going to foolishly interrogate over the twitter platform?

@KirstenboschNBG The flower beds in the main garden > can’t see the soil for the plants and flowers.Why? #cleanup

@2OceansAquarium The kelp forest exhibit > can’t see the fish for the long fronds of seaweed.Why? #cleanup

@TableMountainCa The sky behind Table Mountain > can’t see the clouds for the big lump of rock.Why? #cleanup

Honestly, Allison. I’ve got better things to do today than publicise idiotic requests to the council.
Get your act together.

Grand Designs

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I’m a huge fan of the Grand Designs show. The only thing stopping me from building my own architect-designed, avant-garde, leftfield, off-the-wall, out-of-the-box, modern eco-home from innovative materials and using a new twist on traditional building techniques, is money.
Well, that and having seen the crap that people on Grand Designs have to go through.

Kevin McCloud and his knowledgeable, laid-back approach are the cornerstones of the programme, and it’s him that keeps me watching even though sometimes the individuals featured can be a little… dare I say it… pretentious.

Now though come two excellent Grand Designs parody accounts on twitter. Parody accounts can be a bit hit or miss, but these ones are sharp, clever and right on point. If you’re a fan of Kevin and Grand Designs you’ll love them.

Firstly, @KevinMsays which pokes fun at his intro and outro monologues on each show:

3pigs

and then @grand_designz, which concentrates on the builders themselves, with ever more improbable Guardianista names, bizarre upper-class careers and plans for their dream home:

It’s funny because it’s dangerously accurate.

Loads more enjoyment to be had on those two accounts. Go and have fun.

Can you help?

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Whizzing past twitter today, when suddenly, this:

 

Further investigation suggests that this SYNTHETIC TELEPATHY! is an ongoing issue for Andrew, who has sought assistance from numerous organisations including the police, MPs, Councillors, the Government and the Church. He’s even emailed Theresa May, the British Home Secretary on no fewer than four occasions, but has had no response. Fortunately for Andrew, he is able to seek solace in long-running radio soapie The Archers. The Archers is regularly broadcast on BBC Radio 4. Andrew likes Radio 4… 

 

…but it can’t distract him for long:

 

Can you help?

PistoriusBalls 19

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It’s Friday, and in an attempt to get through to the tea break before anyone else, Andrew Harding is in the courtroom early today and he’s brought his musical analogy collection with him:

  Andrew has his eye on Barry Roux:

He’s “writing furiously by the looks of it”? Why “by the looks of it”? What else do you think he might be doing?
How can the action of “writing furiously” at a desk in a courtroom be mistaken for anything else?
What other task might he be carrying out that may lead you have even a semblance of doubt that he was not writing, furiously?
I put it to you that if he is sitting at a desk, in a courtroom, with a pen in his hand, moving it furiously over some paper, then it’s highly unlikely that he’s sowing radishes or piloting an Airbus A380.
He’s writing, isn’t he? Furiously.

By the looks of it, anyway.

 

What an odd emotion for him to be showing, given the circumstances.
But at least he’s not tired today:

 

But exhaustion is obviously affecting some people. Look at this tired attempt at humour:

“I’m here all week. Try the veal.”

 

But then there were no more week and they were gone. And, quite possibly, so is this series.

Pending an appeal, anyway.