Tag: seth rotherham

I’m confused. It does happen from time to time, usually over unimportant things like political history and tax regulations.
And that happens to the best of us, doesn’t it, Julius? 

But this time, it’s altogether more serious. I am confused about pizza.

There are several different sorts of pizza eaters and several different types of pizza to go with them.
The pizza snobs will insist on an olive wood-fired, traditional Umbrian-style oven, built from terracotta tiles recycled from Julius Caesar’s bathroom and a pizza base rolled on the inner thigh of one of Silvio Berlusconi’s hand-maidens.
These are the sort of people that like rocket on their pizza.  Because there’s nothing better than making posh cheese on toast and then chucking some raw dandelion leaves on top before you eat it.

Then there are the pizza slobs. These are the people that will even accept pizza from Scooters, despite that company’s preference for speed rather than classiness, their lack of accuracy in putting the correct ingredients on the round dough bit, the fact that they (possibly) cook their wares in a 650W Pick ‘n’ Pay microwave recycled from Julius Malema’s kitchen and roll their pizza bases on the inner thigh of Jessie Duarte.
Still – you know what you’re getting when you order. And you’ll be tucking into your food while the snobs are still checking a lengthy paper trail concerning the authenticity of the flour, picking weeds in the back garden and fainting from hunger.

In the middle is the happy medium: Butler’s Pizza. Look, it’s not larney, but it’s far from the doughy trash of other delivery services. “Just nice”, some would say. Seth Rotherham, he of 2oceansvibe and snarly jail face fame, has long been a fan of Butler’s and thus, they have recently introduced a new pizza to their range: The Rotherham.

The Rotherham: Bacon, Feta, Salami, Half Mozzarella, Thin Base

Am I the only one bewildered by this bizarre pizza design?
If, as has been previously described, pizza is actually just posh cheese on toast, then why remove half the cheese and half the toast?

“Hmm – I’ll take one ‘The Rotherham’, please.
And I’d like some watered down beer and half a tub of ice cream to go with it.
Actually – while I’m waiting – do you have any Ricoffy?”

A hypothetical situation, obviously, as Butler’s are delivery only. But you (might) get my point.

On the plus side, Butler’s have introduced a real pizza at the same time: The Meaty Foursome, which actually has nothing to do with Jacob Zuma’s polygamous relationships, but is what carnivores such as myself have been crying out for for quite some time now.
It’s almost perfection. If they’d just added Bombay chillies they could have just called it The 6000.

But they didn’t.  So they can’t.