PistoriusBalls 19

It’s Friday, and in an attempt to get through to the tea break before anyone else, Andrew Harding is in the courtroom early today and he’s brought his musical analogy collection with him:

  Andrew has his eye on Barry Roux:

He’s “writing furiously by the looks of it”? Why “by the looks of it”? What else do you think he might be doing?
How can the action of “writing furiously” at a desk in a courtroom be mistaken for anything else?
What other task might he be carrying out that may lead you have even a semblance of doubt that he was not writing, furiously?
I put it to you that if he is sitting at a desk, in a courtroom, with a pen in his hand, moving it furiously over some paper, then it’s highly unlikely that he’s sowing radishes or piloting an Airbus A380.
He’s writing, isn’t he? Furiously.

By the looks of it, anyway.


What an odd emotion for him to be showing, given the circumstances.
But at least he’s not tired today:


But exhaustion is obviously affecting some people. Look at this tired attempt at humour:

“I’m here all week. Try the veal.”


But then there were no more week and they were gone. And, quite possibly, so is this series.

Pending an appeal, anyway.

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Summing up, and thus we’re getting towards pretty much the last chance for the journos in the court to come up with The Quote or The Soundbite which will be The Title of The Book about The Trial.

On Nel’s Effects:

The BBC have gone with “Mosaic”:

Sky, with “Snowball”:

And SA’s ECR with “Domino”:


Meanwhile, back in 1994:


The competition as to who will be the first to tweet the tea break announcement is as tight as ev… oh, no, it’s reigning champion Andrew Harding as usual:


And this simply can’t be true.
I’m pretty sure the judge would not allow him to do either of these things in court:

“Mr Nel, would you please keep your voice down and remove yourself from that state witness.
At once!”

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I’m no expert in the forced removal of judicial buildings, but I think that this is somewhat unlikely. And with the court still firmly in place, there’s even time during a murder trial for a whimsical reference to that cookbook:

But there’s good news from Andrew Harding:

Meanwhile, Wayne Derman says you need a dollop of butter in that. Probably.      

So many meanings we could read into this. But I think it’s just that Lucy wants to get home before 3Talk with Noeleen begins.

Of course she does, because we should never – NEVER – underestimate the travails of the courtroom journalist:

Also there are communal showers. And each evening you have to sleep with 65 TB-riddled criminals. Or something…

The prison reference? Yes, it is.


So you can choose your own teatime tomorrow… Enjoy!

REMEMBER: You can see the full PistoriusBalls series by clicking here.

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Day 24 and an unexpected change of tack.
We’re now working from the ‘Eye For An Eye’ School of Justice Manual…


Got to suggest that this is premeditated, right?


Are you watching, students of the noble art? THIS. IS. JOURNALISM!  


Meanwhile, talking of “journalism”, new levels of desperation have been reached on News24:

Look out for their exclusive Pistorius headline tomorrow: “There Were A Few More People Here Than Yesterday, However Their Numbers Still Didn’t Really Match Up With The Larger Amount Of Observers Which We Noted Earlier In The Week, But Was Obviously Greater In Number Than Last Thursday, Which Was Notable For The Fact The The Courtroom Was Surprisingly Sparsely Attended”


You’re imagining Barry Roux winking at you?
I dunno. Is there such a thing as demob desperate?
Lest we forget, you were imagining his opponent half naked on a tropical beach paradise just yesterday (see above).


Really, Andrew? Is this honestly your understanding of what someone would do were their opponent to bring a comb to a knife fight? “Jab at his qualifications and credibility”?
‘Cos I’d guess that they’d probably just stab him. Unpleasant? Sure. But let’s face it, it’s a knife fight and he’s turned up with a comb. What does he expect? His qualifications and credibility to be jabbed at?
I doubt that very much.
No, I think that with your remark, you may be confusing ‘a knife fight’ with ‘a qualifications and credibility jabbing session’ and they’re really not the same thing, their only common factor being that I wouldn’t bring a comb along to either occasion.


And then that was it. For a couple of weeks, at least.

WANT MOAR BALLS? PistoriusBalls Archive.

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Day Twenty-something and we’re still trying to knock off before 3pm…

Mmm. People jam is my favourite, just ahead of Strawberry, and Fig.


Sadly not. I can still see you.


Come on, people. This is very disappointing. It’s almost as if Reeva died in vain.


No idea. Have you tried the Asian percussion section in your local music shop?


Strange decision. Is the courtroom busy or something?
Oh God… will it be televised? 🙁