AppealBalls 1

Do you remember the now infamous PistoriusBalls series? Some people thought it was all over, and it was then. But suddenly the State decided that actually, possibly, maybe they could swing a murder verdict, and thus there was an appeal. And with that appeal…. came AppealBalls!

Step forward… Alex Crawford, *polite applause* with her astute observation:

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Well, quite astute observation…

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Dude looks like a Lady! Except… you know, the other way around.

Also back… please welcome… Aislinn Laing! *rapturous cheering*

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This tweet works best if you embellish it just  a little and imagine it being said in a 1940’s New York private detective voice:

The doll was in the restroom when he filled her full of lead. Pistorius was once famous in South Africa for his athletic prowess. Now it’s for a devastating criminal act. I don’t usually take cases involving famous people. No private eye needs that kinda attention. But line him up in front of the district attorney and a stenographer and he could soon make dusty case law.

Mandy’s still around, too:

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Or what gender they identify as, hey Alex?

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Thanks be to she who invokes Homer Simpson. Because yes, it’s definitely time for a beer.

PistoriusBalls Special

Sentencing is complete and I was going to let it lie, but this just cried out for PistoriusBalls recognition and seemed a fitting way to end the series.

Important information. Great counting. Unique angle.

PistoriusBalls Gold.

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Verdict time, and it’s all about who can get some last minute self publicity for their woefully unprofessional unique take on the Oscar Pistorius trial. Early contender, Rebecca “Moar Whimsy” Davis is contending early with this, from just 12 minutes in:


While legendary Oscar veteran Barry Bateman is already blowing things up out of all proportion:  


Brett Kebble expert, Mandy Wiener is well known for leaving no detail unrecorded:

I’ll save you the minutia about Judge Masipa’s breathing habits. For the moment.


Meanwhile, how would you describe the courtroom?

Thus, what follows is a damning slur on the Durban curry industry generally. Although, there’s probably a market out there for thick and sweaty curries. Maybe.


There’s just time for a little bit MOAR WHIMSY!!!!


And we had to slip this “most bizarre tweet of the trial” tweet in:

Tomorrow, thanks to that early ajourney: maybe Bonus Balls!

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It’s Friday, and in an attempt to get through to the tea break before anyone else, Andrew Harding is in the courtroom early today and he’s brought his musical analogy collection with him:

  Andrew has his eye on Barry Roux:

He’s “writing furiously by the looks of it”? Why “by the looks of it”? What else do you think he might be doing?
How can the action of “writing furiously” at a desk in a courtroom be mistaken for anything else?
What other task might he be carrying out that may lead you have even a semblance of doubt that he was not writing, furiously?
I put it to you that if he is sitting at a desk, in a courtroom, with a pen in his hand, moving it furiously over some paper, then it’s highly unlikely that he’s sowing radishes or piloting an Airbus A380.
He’s writing, isn’t he? Furiously.

By the looks of it, anyway.


What an odd emotion for him to be showing, given the circumstances.
But at least he’s not tired today:


But exhaustion is obviously affecting some people. Look at this tired attempt at humour:

“I’m here all week. Try the veal.”


But then there were no more week and they were gone. And, quite possibly, so is this series.

Pending an appeal, anyway.

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Summing up, and thus we’re getting towards pretty much the last chance for the journos in the court to come up with The Quote or The Soundbite which will be The Title of The Book about The Trial.

On Nel’s Effects:

The BBC have gone with “Mosaic”:

Sky, with “Snowball”:

And SA’s ECR with “Domino”:


Meanwhile, back in 1994:


The competition as to who will be the first to tweet the tea break announcement is as tight as ev… oh, no, it’s reigning champion Andrew Harding as usual:


And this simply can’t be true.
I’m pretty sure the judge would not allow him to do either of these things in court:

“Mr Nel, would you please keep your voice down and remove yourself from that state witness.
At once!”