Oh Happy Days

I don’t think that we in South Africa are in any doubt that South Africa is going through a bit of a rough patch at the moment.  While I don’t believe everything I read in the papers, I’m not sure that you can blame this impression solely on our allegedly “anti government media”, because it does mainly seem to be down to our erstwhile government and top clown, Jacob Zuma. It’s not like the government is even bothering to properly deny stuff or explain themselves anymore: they just mumble something about some agenda and continue on to the next scandal. They really don’t appear to give toss about what the public think of them. I’ve covered the “crossing of these lines of pisstakery” in a couple of posts previously here and here.
But let’s not think that the problems end with the issues of the FIFA bribes, Nkandla, Eskom’s loadshedding and the winter rain (ok, we can’t blame them for that). Because wait, in true Verimark style, there’s more!

There is the much delayed Marikana report (about how and why the police shot dead more than 30 miners in 2012), to which the President is currently “applying his mind” [insert oft used line about how that shouldn’t take long], but of which we now know the approximate contents of, thanks to an off the cuff remark by JZ yesterday.

Even the Marikana miners were shot after killing people

So that’s the way that one is going.

And then there was the Al Bashir affair, whereby the Sudanese President escaped from/was helped to leave the country, defying a court order and the wishes of the ICC, which SA – and more specifically JZ – had signed up to.

Max du Preez spelled it out for us all on Facebook:

I think the matter is rather simple. When the ANC/government volunteered to host the AU summit and prepared for it, it knew very well that people like Mugabe would pressure it to invite Omar al-Bashir. It knew very well – and was reminded of it shortly before Bashir’s arrival by the ICC – that it had no legal ground to defy the ICC arrest warrants and South Africa’s own enabling act of parliament.
Government also knew that it would be a African diplomatic disaster to arrest Bashir and deliver him to the ICC in Europe. It must have known that there would be a very good chance that some NGO or rights group would take the matter to court. It must have known that the court was highly likely to order Bashir’s arrest. It went ahead anyway, so we can only conclude Zuma and his inner circle had made a conscious decision in advance that they would defy such a direct court order.
They went further than that: they misled the judges of the High Court – probably even blatantly lied to them – and then executed an escape plan for Bashir.
This is not about the credibility or legitimacy of the ICC. It’s about the president and the cabinet of the country defying a direct court order. Their response to criticism was to attack the court as “anti-ANC”, “anti-majoritarian” and “wanting to govern the country” – we had these arguments from Blade Nzimande and Gwede Mantashe the last two days.
Can we now expect the ANC and government to also defy a likely court order later this year that the criminal charges against Zuma be reinstated? The next step on this slippery slope is to defy the results of an election. And a slippery slope it is indeed. If our constitution tumbles, so do our freedom and stability.

There’s nothing there that seems too much of a stretch, and, as with any premeditated crime, that’s rather worrying.
The solution to this seems simple (at least, in a Belling the Cat kind of way): JZ must go. The trouble with this is that because of a distinct lack of previous action, and (let’s not overlook this) a significant amount of clever wheeling and dealing by the man himself in placing allies in influential places and taking very good care of them, there’s no-one that’s going to be able to do that.

Save maybe for the electorate. But firstly, would they, could they ever vote the ANC out of power? And secondly, as per the point raised by du Preez above, if they did, would the ANC accept the result?

Previously, I would have never believed that the first was possible. Now, given the levels of dismay and disquiet, I’m beginning to change my tune on that one. (Raising the next issue – do we have anything significantly better in the current opposition?)
Previously, I would never have believed that the second would ever happen. Now, given the lack of respect that the government is showing for the country and seemingly, for the rule of law, I’m not convinced on that either.

Yeah, as I said, happy days here in ‘the Rainbow Nation’.

More dairy issues

After yesterday’s Malan’s Dairy post, here’s another dairy issue.
This time it’s at Woolworths.

DSC_0004(1)

And they’re not even kidd… they’re not even joking.

When it comes to cattle, this isn’t a problem. Consumer comes before calf. It’s the natural order of things. But when it comes to goats’s, it seems that the kids are alright. Their need is greater than yours – and it’s a well known fact that baby goats are fully dependent on a reliable supply of Chevre.

Damn this nanny state.

Fortunately, as the notice suggests, once September comes, the shelves will once again by laden with goats’s’s milk products. Until then, you’re going to have to just go all mainstream and bovine, hipster folk.

Disappointing Dairy Poem

We followed a Malan’s Dairy van the other day. Malan’s Dairy is based in Paarl, and has been supplying dairy products since 1948. Experience.

The thing that concerned me about their van, other than the fact that there were copious amounts of milk leaking from the back of it, was the… well… let’s be civil here, the “disappointing” effort at a poem on the rear doors.

DSC_0006(1)If you click on that image, you can see it too:

We are busy as a Bee
for the best quality DAIRY
products and delivery
FOR YOU our customers

What’s wrong here?
Random CAPITALISATION, an appalling lack of punctuation, a mishmash of attempted rhyming poetry, but without the given structure of ballardry, nor the natural gait of narrative prose, and just to top it off, the mysterious apian context, which clearly has nothing to do with dairy or dairy products.

Let’s run through it, shall we?

We are busy as a Bee – It’s “bee”. And why only the singular? Is it because “bees” is Afrikaans for “cattle” and you’re an Afrikaans company from an Afrikaans-speaking town? Still, while they might not have the reputation for the tough grind that the buzzy insects have, cattle do at least make milk.

for the best quality DAIRY – Heaps of issues. Heaps. This doesn’t scan with the first line; it doesn’t even logically follow on from it. And just because DAIRY is your core business, doesn’t mean you can randomly select UPPER CASE and expect to get away with it. That’s not how it works. That’s not how any of this works.

products and delivery – Look, it’s a nothing sentence, but at least it rhymes with the first two. And that’s about all it’s got going for it.

FOR YOU our customers – This is what happens when you employ a (crap) poet with ADD. S/he has got fed up with the whole poetry idea moved on to other things. “Better finish it off,” they’ve thought – just lob in some line or other. It doesn’t have to rhyme, it doesn’t even have to make any sense. The contract says four lines, I won’t get paid for any less. Just chuck anything down and ooh look, a squirrel!

It’s rubbish.

But there’s no “pint” in simply slagging stuff off (see people moaning about loadshedding passim). That’s rubbish too. Suggest an alternative. Make a difference.

So here’s something that took me almost 30 seconds to come up with:

Our driving skills are smooth as silk,
As we deliver your cheese and milk.
Our brilliant distribution team,
Are always on top, just like our cream.

Dairy references: check
Note to logistics: yep
Rules of poetry: adhered to

What’s not to like?

I’ll obviously be sending this to Malan’s Dairy, but in the meantime, why don’t you help raise the profile of this post by emailing them at info@malansdairy.co.za and telling them about it?

Together, we can overcome disastrous, amateur slogans on trucks.
Let’s make a start right now.

Blog Name Change

After carefully considering the media reports of the stowaways on the BA54 flight from Johannesburg to London Heathrow, I have come to the conclusion that I obviously need to rename this blog to more accurately represent just how far I actually am from civilisation:

Sky News:

Stowaway Plunges To Death From BA Plane - Google Chrome 2015-06-19 112725 AM.bmpGuardian:

Stowaway fell to death from plane on to London shop after 8,000-mile flight  UK news  The Guardian - Google Chrome 2015-06-19 114633 AM.bmp

Henceforth, 6000 miles… will be known as Oops, my mistake. Apparently, it’s actually more than 8000 miles from civilisation…

I’ll sort the URL as soon as I get the new domain name registered.

It seems that the plane must have taken a 2500 mile detour. As some wit remarked:

The deceased probably would have survived the standard length journey.

It’s actually 5645 miles from Joburg to London Heathrow (and 6022 miles from Cape Town).
Flightradar24 reports that the flight in question left JNB at 21:17 and landed at LHR at 07:02. That’s 10¾ hours (allowing for the 1 hr time difference), meaning that if the distance was “over 8000 miles”, the plane must have been supersonic for more than 95% of the journey. Pretty impressive for a 747. (Actually, pretty impossible for a 747.)

Please note my neat sidestepping issues of desperate emigration, airport security and any other serious and awkward issues that this story raises.

UPDATE: The Independent as well

Stowaway falls to death from wheel of South Africa flight over London, another is in hospital - Home News - UK - The Independent - Google Chrome 2015-06-19 121637 PM.bmp

And the BBC:

'Plane stowaway' body found on Richmond roof - BBC News - Google Chrome 2015-06-19 041702 PM.bmp

“Churnalism”.

Nice pictures

As a regular reader of 6000 miles…, you’ll be well aware that we like nice pictures. If they are nice long exposure pictures, we like them even more, and if they are long exposure pictures of South Africa, well, then the biscuit is well and truly taken. Step forward then, the winners of the 6th International Earth & Sky Photo Contest – most especially overall winner, Eric Nathan (you may remember him from such posts as Another Cape Town Timelapse) and this beauty:

table-mountain

And look, Eric dun gud. But there are some other utterly spectacular images on the list as well. And if I’m honest, this one by Russian Lyubov Trifonova called “The Enchanted Forest” is probably my particular favourite.

6101-4

There’s even a Vimeo montage of the winning images, complete with chilled music, and obviously, the whole competition is granted legitimacy by having one winner from Iceland. It’s the rules.