Duck

Not a sponsored post. Just some information on a new find.
New to me, at least. And that’s what counts on here.

Superb, delicious, free range and batch cooked “to perfection”, nogal. All the boxes ticked.
These are the duck equivalent of Pork Scratchings.

Duck Scratchings, then. Perfect.

What, as they like to ask, is not to like?
Well actually, the serving suggestions provided by the retailer might fall into that category:

Perfect with salads or as a topping on lasagne.

No. Don’t do this. Don’t trouble yourself with that level of detail. Simply scoff the (reduced because the use by date is approaching) packet on the way home from the supermarket. No green leaves or pasta sheets in sight. Much easier.

They also say:

Once opened, store in an airtight container.

Well, that’s pretty much my body, if you exclude the lungs and the other breathy bits.

And say what you will about the Chinese, with their authoritarian government, harsh restrictions on press freedoms, complete and absolute disregard for the environment, and horrific human rights record: that 5-Spice is an absolute banger. And there’s still so much more room for potential improvement by maybe adding a sixth or seventh spice. I’m shocked that it hasn’t happened already.

Folks, with just 25% of your daily cholesterol per packet and about the same for your sodium, there’s clearly no need to do more than simply devour 4 packets of these, each day. Sorted.

I bumped into my cardiologist at the shopping centre, and showed them to him, and he told me that they’re great for business, so it does really seem like everyone is happy.

Go get some.

Local Woolworths’ avo shortage leaves Capetonians desperate for alternatives

It’s bad news for health-conscious Capetonians as premium retailer Woolworths confirmed that they’re rather short of avocados.

I’m not desperate for avocados, but I know that many local people are, basing many of their daily meals around the healthy, trendy fruits. And desperate people are easy to fool, because they will do anything for their green, pulpy fix.

Still, I’ve got to say that I thought this effort might be a bit of a stretch by Woolies today:

But apparently not.

I overheard one person saying that they were so glad that “somebody had made a plan” and someone else suggesting that they “were probably organic or something”, before piling them into their respective baskets.

Eish. Good luck with that guacamole, guys.

Paste

Not an ad. Although if Woolies want to pay me in cash or kind, I’m not going to say no.

Woolies do a lot of nice products, but with good quality comes a higher price tag. That said, many of their products are worth it (e.g. their Clemengold nadorcotts): they’re nicer, they last better and they look smart on your shelf/in your fridge/atop your Karel Boyz fruit bowl when fancy-pants people come round for drinkiepoos.

And then came this – definitely the best non-citrus product that they have ever sold:

I had to rotate the image so that it wasn’t long and tall and annoying on the post, but now look at the cod. He’s the right way up, but his Linnaean name isn’t. It’s those sort of little details that prove you’re getting a genuine Woolies product and not some inferior knock off. Always check the cod and the cod name.

And any inferior knock off would be inferior too, because this is SO GOOD. It’s rich, it’s creamy, it’s very tasty, it’s (quite) healthy, and – because you need so little – pretty good value at R79.99 as well. Made in Norway – almost certainly from Fjord cods – this is definitely worth dropping into your basket on the 26th.

Lob it on a cracker, pop it on some fresh brown bread or just smear it on the kitchen wall and have some fun while you’re home alone: it doesn’t matter how you eat it. It’s just great.

6000 recommends.

Petty Peter

I don’t have a problem with anyone being religious. Just because I’m not, doesn’t mean that you can’t be.
But people like this really do give the religious (in this case, Christian, but it takes all sorts) community a bad rap:

Perhaps actually at Easter and not 10 days beforehand, Peter?

And this pathetic complaint will almost certainly be because he has seen a “Have a great Ramadan” poster at a store somewhere and is jealous of the attention that Islam is getting.

Get a life, Peter. And have a happy Easter.

More dairy issues

After yesterday’s Malan’s Dairy post, here’s another dairy issue.
This time it’s at Woolworths.

DSC_0004(1)

And they’re not even kidd… they’re not even joking.

When it comes to cattle, this isn’t a problem. Consumer comes before calf. It’s the natural order of things. But when it comes to goats’s, it seems that the kids are alright. Their need is greater than yours – and it’s a well known fact that baby goats are fully dependent on a reliable supply of Chevre.

Damn this nanny state.

Fortunately, as the notice suggests, once September comes, the shelves will once again by laden with goats’s’s milk products. Until then, you’re going to have to just go all mainstream and bovine, hipster folk.