What’s the problem?

Oh, this one makes me proud to be English.

From here, via here.

A 29-STONE mum who feeds her eight-month old triplets with McDonald’s has insisted she is bringing the tots up in the “best way she can”.
Leanne Salt, 24, said she is “too busy” to properly feed daughters Deanna and Daisy and son Finlee.
So she lets them eat her takeaways and gives them Wotsits snacks and microwave meals.

(for my non UK visitors, 29 stone = 406 pounds or 184 kilos) 

I have to admit that once, in a fit of desperation, Alex was given 6 Chicken McNuggets from the Kenilworth drive-thru. It was as a result of poor paternal planning and I felt awful for ages afterwards, although with hindsight, that was probably because of the Quarterpounder with cheese that I had at the same time. And the cardboard fries.
Alex seemed to enjoy his reformed lumps of fried, mechanically-recovered chicken though, even if he didn’t really seem to know what to do with them. Well, he was only 6 weeks old at the time.

Of course, there’s no problem with the odd McDonald’s every now and again, even if they do their best to put parents off buying their inaccurately-named Happy Meals. But we certainly don’t go down the road of doing it every day. That would get in the way of his KFC addiction.

Leanne steers away from healthy foods in case it makes her tots anorexic. She said: “I don’t want them to think they have to watch what they eat. I’ll tell them big is beautiful.”

Yes readers, “big is beautiful” – I’ll let you decide on that one:

Picture from Closer magazine

When I see that sort of picture, aside from the immediately overwhelming thought that “big is beautiful” (obviously), I also find myself marvelling at the amazing strength of denim. Presumably, those are just over-the-counter jeans from the fat section of Matalan, and yet look what they’re holding within them.
Quite remarkable and a great advert for Vietnamese sweatshop workmanship.
Oh – and I wonder where the bikini-clad Carrie Fisher is, as well.

Swine flu can’t get to Coventry quickly enough.

Three

My little boy turned three today.

alex3days aww
Three days to three years…

I think that on these sort of occasions (and on many others, actually) a little daddy-blogging is completely acceptable.

Despite the best efforts of the weather to ruin the party, a good time was had by all – a great time by many – and by my reckoning, the house will only to a fortnight to repair.
Which really isn’t bad when you consider what could have happened.

Photos to follow – watch this space are here – and since I’m blogging, a big thank you to Ross Wallace of Preston North End, whose last minute free-kick was enough to see off Birmingham at St. Andrew’s this evening and to keep Sheffield United’s promotion hopes very much alive.

Going Up!

…fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eigh… oh, hello!

I was just counting my chickens before they’ve hatched. 
In other news, following a nail-bitingly tight 1-0 win at Reading, my beloved Sheffield United now occupy second spot in the Championship. That’s an automatic promotion place, which means that they’ll be back up where they belong in the Premiership next season. Bring it on!   

Good Friday passed without too much incident. There was some muffin making and some kalahari kreef braai’ing.


Yum. Seriously Yum.

Tomorrow brings with it the chance to go and see the UEFA Champions League Trophy on display at the V&A Waterfront, which won’t be busy in the middle of the school holidays. It’s fine – I can cope with a few thousand screaming children.

Hmm.

Infectious Parenting

I am beginning to suspect that there may have been a degree of political interference in my health. That’s the only explanation I can think of for this trumped-up chest infection and the misery that goes with it.
I’m thinking of getting the NPA to decide if the sickness I’m suffering can be dropped as soon as possible, but I suspect that even if I did manage to convince them to do it, Helen Zille would immediately launch a civil infection against me.

A problem shared is a problem halved, so I passed on my viruses onto little K-pu – well, she seems to be doing fine with half my genes.
The results were dramatic. So far, several people have been covered in baby vomit. Fortunately, as a scientist, I choose to observe from a distance. Just out of range.
The initial decision to infect my daughter, together with the messy outcome has left me rather unpopular, except with the paediatrician and local pharmacies, who are bucking the trend of the recession in which South Africa doesn’t find itself.

So, ostracised to the bedroom where I can’t infect anyone, I’m left with choosing which UEFA champignons league quarter-final to watch, listening to Franz Ferdinand’s Lucid Dreams, (http://tr.im/franz) and eating fruit salad. Helfee, you see?

Later this week, I will be blogging about the upcoming CokeZeroFest at Lourensford, Somerset West. Watch this space.

Written on my Sony Ericsson Xperia X1. In bed.
And really getting a little fed up of it now, frankly.

Peaceful weekend

VOTE FOR ME IN THE 2009 SOUTH AFRICAN BLOG AWARDS!

It’s been a peaceful weekend.
This morning, we headed out to the conveniently local Arderne Gardens in the beautiful autumn sunshine to throw some bread at the ducks; this afternoon, we mainly played with a broken Hoover Aquavac 2200. As you do.

I didn’t bother taking any pictures of the vacuum cleaner (and who can blame me?), but I did get a few of the ducks. My particular favourite is this one:

bandwa
Bigger here

…which, on closer examination, doesn’t actually feature any ducks at all.

Anyway, even if you don’t like that, then you still might want to try clicking here to see the rest of the set, which is generally less “arty” and more “colourful” and does feature several varieties of “duck”. I promise.