David’s Water Crisis Facts

Mythbusting. It’s a thing. Two middle-aged gentlemen in San Francisco famously made a living out of it. So step forward then David W. Olivier, who – right from the get go – is anxious for us to know that he:

does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.

That article being this one, in which he rejects our reality and substitutes his own:

David has gone out on a bit of a limb here by using facts and relevant information to make his case. An approach that the Facebook hordes are unlikely to recognise. And if you read it through rather cynical eyes, it does appear as a bit of a City of Cape Town puff piece, but then you realise that maybe, just maybe, they have also been using facts and relevant information when informing us about the water crisis.

Wow.

David hits us with truth bombs about the much alleged lack of preparedness:

Climate trends over the past 40 years gave no indication of the drought’s timing, intensity or duration. In fact, dams were overflowing in winter 2014. The weather forecasts gave no indication that the 2015 drought would continue over another year. A study by the University of Cape Town came out a few weeks ago, saying that the odds of the drought carrying over again into 2017 were less than one in one thousand.

He then goes in for a combination attack detailing the myths of lack of enforcement and water being lost to leaks, before a killer blow on the “why didn’t we build a big desalination plant?” debate:

A desalination plant large enough to accommodate Cape Town’s needs (450 megalitres per day) would cost 15 billion rand to build and then millions more to maintain.
There is a chance that by the time such a plant is built, the drought would be over. The city would be left with a very expensive white elephant.

And then, after a page or two of cold, hard realities, a single paragraph of reasoned opinion.

Blame shifting, fault finding and panic are usual reactions to water crises all over the world. Some anxiety is good, as it motivates water saving, but blame shifting actually pushes responsibility away, and causes water wastage. The best attitude Cape Town’s people can adopt is for every person to do their best, together. The world is watching, let’s set them an example to follow.

How dare you, David? How very dare you?

Of course, as a Cape Town resident, you might feel that sharing this sort of thing might move some of the responsibility away from the city and onto your shoulders. And, if I may be so bold, that’s probably one very good reason that these myths have conveniently gone unchallenged and been perpetuated on social media, around braais, and on social media around braais.

Why not lead the way by breaking the cycle and when one of these Seven Deadly Myths [Really? – Ed.] gets quoted in your presence, give them a friendly nudge or punch in the face and tell them the truth?

It’s ever so liberating.

Pathetic fish and chips

BIG NEWS from Liverpool: the most pathetic serving of fish and chips ever has been served there. And it’s made it as far as (one of) the overly desperate national newspapers.

Furious diner Tina Doherty was stunned when her order arrived and was made up of just SIX chips.

No wonder she was furious. That’s a pathetic number of chips.

Tina had gone out for dinner with her husband, Kevin, and two friends to the Jolly Miller in Liverpool after a night out bowling.

The pals had ordered ordered their main meals – two hunter’s chickens and two portions of fish and chips – which they chose off the two for £10 menu.

It sounds like the evening had got off to a great start. Nothing to see here, folks.
And Tina and Kevin and their friends were looking forward to rounding it off with some decent food at the pub on the way home when disaster struck.

However when the server handed Tina, 53, her meal she couldn’t quite believe she had been given just SIX CHIPS with her fish and peas.

No wonder she was furious. That’s a pathetic number of chips.

(I may have mentioned this before.)

Care worker Tina, from Aintree, sent a picture of the pitiful portion to her husband who told her she should complain.

Well, he would. He’s from Liverpool.
But wait. What?
Why didn’t he just look at what was on a table in front of him?

Husband Kevin, 60, said: “She sent the picture on Whatsapp and I must admit I laughed. I was at home with our son and daughter and we were just sitting down to our man-sized portions of curried prawns, rice and real homemade chips.”

Oh. Were you now, Kevin? And where else were your son and daughter? Were they also at the Jolly Miller with their mum? Or perhaps they were in another local establishment which also serves miniscule portions?
How were you in two places at once, Kevin? Are you a twin? Mind you, this story suggests that if you are, then you are called Kevin and Kevin and that’s going to get confusing from a very early age. And are you both her husband? I’m not sure that’s 100% legal. Even on Merseyside. And we all know what they’re like there.

Kevin (the one at home) (or actually maybe the other one) (I really have no idea which one is talking anymore) continues:

I don’t know how anyone could justify or explain that as a portion of chips.

Justify or explain? Rice and real homemade chips? Kevin at the pub and Kevin at home?
There’s something very duplicitous and tautological about you and your mysterious ways, Kevins. And he (they) goes (go) on:

It looks like a toddler’s meal and even they would be able to polish off more than five chips.

Well that’s ok, isn’t it, lads? Because there were six chips. I’m happy to admit that it’s a pathetic number of chips. I already have, twice (once for each of you). But it’s still more than five chips.
Any other chip-based comparisons you’d like to make?

You wouldn’t even have enough to put on a butty with that portion.

No, Kevins. You wouldn’t. Are we done now, because I have other stuff I need to get d…

Kevin, who works for Jaguar Land Rover, also joked that maybe the Jolly Miller was “aware of the pending interest rate rise” the day after the meal was served on Wednesday – so cut its portions down.

Actually, just shut up now, Kevins, you pointless, double starch-consuming, potato-portion calculating, conspiracy-theorising, crap joke-making waste of a Scouse doppelganger.
I’ve had enough of you, you, your wife and this stupid story now.

More tomorrow. Not including pathetic chips or anyone called Kevin. Or Kevin.

Honourable mention

I, like you, was left reeling at the lack of any blog post on here yesterday. And while the so-called experts blamed football and beer, there was a whole lot of other stuff going on Chez 6000 over the weekend.

However, having said that, there was obviously some football involved, and it would be remiss of me not to mention Leon Clarke’s remarkable performance for United, as he beat Hull City 4-1.

There it is a red and white and I won’t mention the fact that the second mention of his name is ever so slightly misaligned with the others if you won’t.

I know. Once you see it… eish.

Anyway, everyone was very happy for Leon, including one Keith Edwards who was working for a local radio station at the match:

Keith was the last United player to score four goals in a game – against Gillingham in August 1983. But being a big United fan, I’m sure Keith was delighted to see his long-standing record repeated.

Of course, the last time that United scored 4 goals in a game was… er… this one. Leon got two that day as well.

Shock news

Blog fans around the world are wondering how to come to terms with the news that there will be no blog post on 6000 miles… today. Marking the end of several (or more) years of daily blog posts, it’s clear that there must be some important or serious reason behind this shocking exclusion.

Officially, there is yet to be an official reason given for today’s omission, but many of those ‘in the know’ are suggesting that it’s probably something to do with beer or football.

Quota Hout Bay

Hout Bay. Not my favourite place. An over-rated, smelly tinder box. I could go on, but I’ll get myself into trouble. I may have already done that.

Still. Nice harbour. From on high, at least.

I wanted to do some flying today – mainly to try out the new modes on the Mavic – but there’s cricket on the school fields and it looks like the new modes probably require the sort of space that my back garden doesn’t have.

Oh, and quota photo today because I’m busy trying to work out how best to get Premiere Pro CC 2018 without spending an absolute fortune, and it’s braai tyd this afternoon and there may be beer involved. Safety first, then.