Gig gripes

BBC radio station 6 Music recently looked at six different things that annoy people about live music events, and asked how best to solve them. Here they are in their (apparently random) order.

Mobile phones. Not them ringing; them filming. Are they really an issue? Relatively early on in the bit of my life which contained cellphones and concerts, I recognised that I would rather enjoy the concert experience than take photos or videos. A couple of pics for the blog, and I’m done. None of this recording of entire songs business. The sound quality is crap (in comparison with the real thing) and you never watch them back anyway. So why bother?
That said, if you want to bother, I generally have no problem with that. But apparently, other people do, so that’s where Yondr comes in.

Yondr has a simple purpose: to show people how powerful a moment can be when we aren’t focused on documenting or broadcasting it.

Put your phone in a lockable bag when you go into the venue, it automatically locks when you’re actually in the venue, unlocks when you leave the concert area. Seriously. This is already a thing at some UK gigs. Who knew? I’m amazed.

Ticket touts are a problem worldwide, and there are already means to get around them. I’ve never felt the need to use one. Either I get lucky with getting tickets to an event, or I manage without going to that event. But while there are still people who are willing to pay anything to get into a concert or event, there will always be ticket touts. And because of ticket touts, and the rules around reselling tickets, I’m going to have to very careful when I sell my Cape Town 7s tickets in the very near future.

People talking at concerts. My biggest of all big pet hates. I do not understand why people go to concerts if they just want to talk.

…this is probably one of the hardest gripes to propose a solution for. Though we did like the suggestion of listener Richard Leach, for: “A soundproofed enclosure where people who want to talk loudly for the whole three hours can go.”

Or how about not a soundproofed enclosure, but just somewhere else for them to go and talk. Because there are already other places for that: pubs, parks, libraries, the beach; in fact, basically almost everywhere except concert venues. And you’ve just paid hundred Rand for the tickets? Why? No. If you want a long conversation about your economics textbooks, do it somewhere else, you stupid, selfish, ignorant little pricks.

We move on.

Admin fees. To be fair, I probably should have a problem with paying R15 to buy my tickets for a concert. But actually, I don’t. It’s not a massive amount of money when you look at That probably says something about me, but with 5 other potential gig gripes for me to worry about, why would I add a sixth when I don’t really care?

Cloakrooms. No-one uses cloakrooms anymore, do they? Don’t take a bag to a gig. Thanks to ISIS, you can’t really anymore anyway. Travel light. Wear layers. I dunno… make a plan.

Access. Ja. Again, I’m fortunate to be unaffected by this one, but it’s something that should be looked at. The disabled seating areas at sports stadiums and concerts is generally pretty awful. But it’s difficult to know how to address this correctly without stats and money and things. And I’m really not trying to pass the buck, but it’s not my job. However someone needs to do it.

So there you have it. People’s Top Six Gig Gripes. And for me, there’s basically one. I mention it every time I go to a concert because it happens every time I go to a concert and it’s ruined by wankers talking through the best bits. But I’ve never really mentioned the other five, so I reckon I’m pretty easy going generally. All of which points to the fact that people talking through concerts irritates even the most mild-mannered individuals.

So STFU. Thanks.

Turgid Sausage

Careful now.

On the weekend, I bought some flat plastic tubing from local DIY Superstore Builders Whorehouse (Thanks, H). It cost at R18 a metre. That did seem a bit steep, but Builders isn’t exactly known for its great value.

I attached the flat plastic tubing to the bottom of various drainpipes around the house and positioned the other ends into the garden or the pool.

And, thanks to last night’s brief, thundery downpour, I was rewarded with several (or more) litres of fresh rainwater in a turgid sausage.

All of that (and the contents of the other sausages) would have been lost down the drain. But because of this somewhat serpentine intervention, we’ll now be able to use the pool for an extra 9 minutes this summer.

Awesome.

Cape Town Cocktails

It’s almost SA Cocktail Week: “the annual week-long summer festival put together to showcase the vibrant local cocktail community and foster creativity behind the bar”.

The thing is, this is a liquid-based series of events – and I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this – but we’re a bit short of water here in the Western Cape. I’m therefore hoping that any creativity fostered behind the bar takes this into account.
To that end, I have a few suggestions for what you should be drinking this weekend.

1. Dry Martini. Literally a dry cocktail. Because if it’s not wet, you can’t be wasting water, right? No ice. [recipe]

2. Old-Fashioned. Helping you to remember the good old days when you could shower for 10 minutes and not worry about tripping over a bucket. No ice. [recipe]

3. Dark ‘n’ Stormy. More of this would have helped during winter. It didn’t happen. And now we’re buggered. No ice. [recipe]

4. Blood and Sand. A worrying prediction of the state of affairs in waterless Cape Town by next April. No ice. [recipe]

5. English Garden. This cocktail contains apple, elderflower and lime – it’s basically a list of plants that have died/are dying in the gardens of Constantia. No ice. [recipe]

6. Sex On The Beach. Maybe try something else instead of a cocktail. This seems to be a water-neutral activity. Obviously, try this on a sandy shoreline, not on the rocks: no ice. [recipe]

7. After Eight. Vodka, Creme de Cacao and Creme de Menthe make up this reminder of “Level Nine” from the now infamous 6000 miles… Extended Water Restrictions post.

No ice. [recipe]

8. White Lady. Consider whether Helen Zille could have done more to mitigate the effects of the Western Cape water crisis while sipping this refreshing, gin-based offering. No ice. [recipe]

9. Penicillin. A great use of whisky to fend off all those skin infections we’re going to get in February when we can’t wash ourselves anymore. No ice. [recipe]

10. Snowball. In this drought? No chance. No ice, see? [recipe]

Have a great weekend and a wonderful SA Cocktail Week and don’t forget to use a disposable paper cup to save on washing up water, ok?

First try

Let’s run you through the timeline here.

In January, I got the Mavic. And when the South-Easter had subsided for a few moments, I flew the Mavic and I took some photos. And then I took a lot more photos. And taking photos was rather fun and editing photos was rather straightforward, because I had taken and edited photos previously.

Videos, though? Videos were much harder. Not only had I never really shot or edited videos before, but I also had to learn to try and fly the Mavic at the same time. And that was basically too much stuff for my small brain to handle in one go.
Thus, I was dealing with poor quality footage and basically no skill: really not a great combination. Oh, and to add insult to that poor quality footage and basically no skill, the Mavic’s output was so good (in digital terms) and so big that my computer couldn’t handle it.

And so, a new computer and a some new editing software was called for. And that’s how I ended up with a new laptop with more RAMs, and a subscription to Adobe Premiere Pro (“Pro”? Me? Lol!) CC 2018. It should be noted that I still don’t have much good footage to go with these sparkly new additions yet, because only now I have them do I see what sort of good footage I need.

So, with all those disclaimers piling up against the door so that I don’t have to face the slings and arrows of outrageous criticism, here’s some footage that I shot on our Orange River trip back in April, hastily cobbled together and popped onto Youtube. Do watch it in one of the 3 different HD options, because the Mavic does HD very nicely.

I’d like to think that my flying skills have improved quite a lot since I shot this back in April. And I’d also like to think that my editing skills will also improve with more practice and better raw material.

So this goes down as a benchmark. Something to look back on in n months or years and see how far I have come. To that end, please be gentle: I, more than anyone else, recognise that this is far from perfect. If it was perfect, then I would be wasting my time trying to improve, wouldn’t I?

Monday

South African Twitter was a nice place to be today* as some of the country’s farmers took to the streets to protest about “alleged” farm murders.
I say “alleged” because that’s (primarily) the matter over which there is a degree of disagreement, with the protest protagonists claiming a “white genocide”, and their critics claiming that there is no specific problem. It’s entirely likely that neither party is correct, and rather that the truth lies somewhere in between the two, but you try finding some independent commentary on the subject. It’s like fracking, but with human lives. (Or, I suppose, not, depending on your point of view.)
Even the usually reasonable and reliable Africa Check seems to have ducked this thorny apple, with their convenient “look, it’s really difficult to calculate” response.

It’s all been spiced up with a healthy degree of racism (this being a predominantly white protest and the old SA flag on display here and there) and sharing of fake news (this being 2017 and the old SA flag having been previously on display at other places). It’s certainly brought plenty of previously hidden opinions and feelings to light; as one individual pointed out “This is a good day to work out who to unfriend on Facebook”. Oh, and there have been some PRIZE candidates on either side. But were we all to do that here today, SA social media would be a barren, empty place tomorrow, instead of just the normal tense, bitter powder keg that we all know and love.
Better then just to observe and make mental notes. Or just use the MUTE button. Although each to their own, of course. Heaven help me if I don’t make that abundantly clear.

Elsewhere, our government continues to take the piss on an unprecedented scale, but we’re too busy fighting amongst ourselves to pay any attention to any of that.

Brilliant.

 

* This is sarcasm. Deep, deep sarcasm, thick like treacle. Thick, thick treacle.