More on that thing

The that thing in question being loadshedding. Rolling blackouts. Power cuts. And I’m sorry to go on about it because I know that it’s really not a thing that South African residents need to hear any more about, and it’s probably not a thing thing that is of huge interest to those overseas.

Yet.

But it is completely dominating our lives at the moment, and it occurred to me, as my inner voice breathed a huge sigh of relief that our planned 12 hours of electrical darkness was reduced to “just” 8 yesterday, that I’m clearly suffering from some kind of Stockholm Syndrome. I think that it’s important not to do that. In a semi developed country such as SA, we shouldn’t have to accept 8 hours of no power every day and just be able to turn the other cheek, smile and say “Well, at least it wasn’t 12!”.
We shouldn’t be normalising loadshedding. We should be angry about it.

The courier guy who just came to our door (alerting me to his presence at the gate by a whistle, because the doorbell isn’t working, because we have no electricity, because of loadshedding), was certainly angry:

No, man. I’m so moeg of it. And then your electrical items like your fridge and your TV get fucked up because of it.

There’s nothing quite like an expletive in a Cape Coloured accent to really drive the message home.

That said, there needs to be some balance and understanding as well (whatever your accent). Because the constant anger and stress will do our collective health no good whatsoever, and it won’t make a jot of difference to the situation.

THERE IS NO QUICK FIX. We’ve missed our opportunity to to do that over the last 14+ years.

Meanwhile, our government is doing very little to remedy the problems – some are even exacerbating them – although there was this absolute gem from serial disaster merchant and wannabe ANC leader, Nkosazana Dlamini-Zuma:

Well, no shit, Sherlock. Thanks for that valuable insight, just 14 years in the making.
What a woman, trying desperately hard to be relevant ahead of the December ANC conference.
So much soundbite. So little action.

Still, even given all the nonsense I have described, those individuals who go out of their way to USE MORE electricity (when they have it), just because Eskom told them not to and they don’t like Eskom, are equal parts irritating and amusing. Talk about shooting yourself in the foot. To be honest, I’m sure it’s mainly internet bluster and bravado: surely no-one could actually be that stupid, right?

Love it or hate it [Really?!? -Ed.], we’re unavoidably stuck with loadshedding for the foreseeable future and beyond.
And as is clear from the several hundred words above, my advice is to just get used to it, but also very much, don’t let yourself just get used to it.

I hope that helps.

Is it Spring yet?

Well, as we’ve said before on here, yes. But actually, no.

But if it’s not quite here yet, it’s certainly coming very soon. I can’t recall a year when I’ve noticed so many things in nature are just “ready to go”. The plants, the weather, the birds… they all seem to be priming themselves in preparation for the joyful explosion that is the end of winter.

And indeed, from my current position atop the deck at the cottage, while I have my warm top on because the wintery wind is rather chilly, it’s also serving a dual purpose in preventing my neck from getting burned by the springtime sunshine. Being from Northern climes and a mix of Anglo-Saxon and Celtic bloodstock, I have to take things a little carefully in the powerful African sun, especially when it hasn’t been around for a few months.

But the yellow-billed kites are back and the greater striped swallows are here, whizzing around me (not sure of their unladen velocity), the bulk carriers are rounding the southern tip of Africa at a safe 10 nautical miles, on their way from China to Nigeria, and Durban to Fortaleza (technically not necessarily a spring thing). There’s a Cape Weaver begging for some of my loadshedding lunch of some chips (crisps) and a Black Label. And across the way, two male Rock Kestrels are fighting for the attentions of a female of the species.

We’re nearly there.

But even as I type, the weather is turning for the worse. Nothing dramatic, but it’s noticeable that there is more white water on the ocean that when I came up here an hour ago (no, I haven’t been blogging the whole time), and the wind is definitely getting up. I have no worries for the evening braai, though. The cottage was designed to be protected against both the ubiquitous southeasters of summertime and the vicious northwesters of winter. So somewhere in between, as we find ourselves right now, should be no problem at all.

Apologies for any typos: the sun is actually ridiculous now and I can’t see a thing.

I think it might be summer already.

Google Streetview hiccup

Spotted by someone on Geoguessr, and shared here because it’s local(ish) and also (I think) rather amusing, this sign:

Which I have discovered is just where the N9 becomes the N10 a few kms north of Middelburg, just south of the border between the Eastern and Northern Cape provinces:

That would earn me 5000 points on Geoguessr, but this is just a blog post, so I score nothing.
Not much that’s funny about that until you see how Google managed to mash up and stretch out said signpost:

…transforming De Aar into De Aar Aar (funny enough in itself), Middelberg into Middelburdelberg and – my favourite – Colesberg in Colesberolesberg. I’ve never been to this bit of SA – it’s actually a bit north, a bit west and a bit east of places I have been to – but Colesberolesberg and Middelburdelberg do make it sound rather fun.

Colesberolesberg don’t make road signs, but if they did…

Flagpole

I’m still not completely convinced that this isn’t a late April Fools joke.

Because while in a country with no money, massive social and economic issues, no electricity, widespread poverty and rampant unemployment, it doesn’t seem like making a joke about the government spending R22,000,000 on a big flag would be particularly amusing, it’s also exactly the sort of thing that the government would actually do.

And that wouldn’t be funny either.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I see all the arguments they’ve made:

The flag, as the brand image of the country, needs to be highly recognised by the citizens.
This has the potential to unite people as it becomes a symbol of unity and common identity.
The project is envisaged to contribute towards nation-building and social cohesion. 

But I would say that about 100% of the citizens already recognise the flag. And I’d also say that our shared experiences of things like loadshedding and unchecked government corruption are more likely to unite us and be a symbol of our common identity than this project. And that being the case, I’m sure that the spending of this R22 million will absolutely encourage nation-building and social cohesion, as the citizenry come together as one to ask the burning question:

What the actual fuck are you doing spending R22 million on a flag?
Just. Stop.

So is this whole story just a joke? I don’t get it. At all.

Next week, South Africa spends R49million on a giant hamster.
(I just made that up, so it’s probably not going to happen.) (Probably.)

Census debacle

We have to do a census thing. It’s been at least 10 years since the last one and we need to stand up and be counted – for reasons. There’s an option to do it online (thank the heavens) and I gladly grasped that with both hands, so that the beagle wouldn’t eat the local volunteer. But then I noticed that the URL it sent me to ended with gov.za and my heart sank.
It’ll be shit, I thought.
And it is.
Because in true South African government style, the UI is just horrible, nothing works properly and the things it is asking me are… well… bizarre.

Like:

So, I put our house number (let’s say it’s 25) and then “House”, because we live in a house (I didn’t think it actually needed to know what colour it was from the Plascon range) and now – even though it said that it was going to ask for my address later in the process – it thinks my address is “25 House”. Which is going to get it rejected immediately.
Perhaps a field asking for – I don’t know – my “Address” might have been a better way forward. Because no-one wanting your details in any other circumstance asks:

OK, and could I have your name, unit/flat number and further description of the structure/unit, please?

Do they?

And who lives at “500 Green House”, anyway? The SA Post Office isn’t going to be able to deliver anything to you with an address like that, are they? Mind you, the SA Post Office is so dysfunctional and wrecked by corruption and theft that it isn’t really able to deliver anything to anyone anyway, so why not go for 500 Green House? Just for the giggles.

And it’s already a LOT of work. Especially if you have moved from “8 House” to “25 House” since the last census. Which we have. So I tell it that we’ve moved and it asks “where from?”, but won’t allow me to enter anything but Athlone, Belhar or Bellville. So now I’ve moved from Belhar simply because at least it’s an answer I can give, and it asks “Why did you move?”.

I mean, have you seen Belhar?

But more seriously, I selected that the household had moved. Just moved house. No divorce, no fire, no death or destruction: we just moved house. But then, even though it already knows exactly who lives in my household, I have to jump through all the same hoops for my wife. And my son. And my daughter. One of us now comes from Athlone. I think it’s the missus.

Ugh. Just populate the form for me.
I don’t have time for 176 drop down menus for each person – most of which don’t work (the menus, not the people) – when I’ve already given you all the same information, anyway.

And I wasn’t even halfway through the very first section.

To add insult to injury, the site then crashed. And I can’t get back in. So, long story short, I’ve given up. I’ll try again tomorrow now I’m more aware of the size of the mountain of bullshit between me and the finish line.
I will prepare with coffee and biltong and lock myself away in my office until it’s all done.

Right now though: some football, I think.