Day 105, part 2 – And perhaps a loadshedding side salad, Sir?

If the massive cold front hitting Cape Town this morning was the starter, and the ongoing virus pandemic was the main course, might I be able to offer you a side salad of loadshedding with your meal, sir?

Side salad because it doesn’t require a microwave or oven, because yes, Eskom spokesperson Sikonathi Mantshantsha was on the radio this morning telling us that:

The generation system is constrained due to the cold front… some of the generation units have broken down. There is a high probability of load shedding during the evenings between five and nine, starting today.

These machines – as we keep reminding the people of South Africa – are quite unreliable and prone to break down when they’re run hard.

We’re seeing high demand due to the cold front. We’ve had to use all our resources – including burning diesel… Even that may not be enough…

Unbelievabeagle.

As the old saying goes: It never rains… (although it clearly does and it clearly is).

So dig out your candles and your blankets and please switch off anything electrical that you don’t need (because maybe we could still avoid this if demand drops enough).

Here’s the PDF of the Cape Town schedule that you’ve buried at the bottom of the kitchen drawer, and it looks like Stage 2 would knock off Areas 3, 4 and 5, 11, 12 and 13 at some point this evening.

Bugger. Thank goodness the good football was on last night

Aside: And it was so, soooo good. 

Anyway, if we are actually running through some sick, twisted menu as described above, I’m going to pass on dessert this time around, thank you very much.

Just the bill, please. And don’t expect a tip.

 

God to call in overseas power company

I have news. Huge, if true.

While the rest of the world was worrying about some microbiological thing or other, SA has been in the grips of a huge bout of loadshedding after jellyfish blocked an inlet pipe at our local nuclear power station.

Actually, this happens more than you might think. 1.73 million results can’t be wrong, right?

But I don’t care about Canada or Sweden or Japan. Our issue is with Koeberg, just up the road. And it seems that we’re likely to get our 980MW back into the grid by Sunday. But will that be soon enough?

Because suddenly, God’s on the job:

I wouldn’t normally believe this sort of nonsense, but this was said with authority – and not just anyone’s authority, but with authority in the might name of Jesus Amen and Amen.

I’m not sure if this is a different Jesus to the one we learned about at school. I think he was called Jesus Christ and not Jesus Amen and Amen. But that was a long time ago and I think it was all made up anyway.

Anyway, given that Mighty God and Jesus Amen and Amen are omnipresent and omnipotent, I think that questions should be asked about whether they had anything to do with the swarm of jellyfish that blocked our power station and prompted this overseas takeover of our power generation. I’m not saying that things were all rosy before, because they really weren’t, but this convenient squishy invertebrate plug being applied to the inlet pipe just up the west coast has certainly paved the way for their sponsored coup, hasn’t it?

Get what I’m saying?

Follow the money. Just saying.

I don’t think that Adele has anything to do with this. She just seems like the spokesperson for the cult on this particular issue.

I’m not big fan of the Mighty God and JAaA, but if this theist-led company sweeps in from overseas, I won’t miss the loadshedding. And if it goes well, then maybe  they can make a start on sorting out this virus thing as well.

12 minutes

Seriously, who starts writing a blog post 12 minutes before loadshedding is about to start, taking with it computer equipment, connectivity and safety?

Hello. It’s me.

I wouldn’t want to work for Eskom’s social media department. It’s a thankless task, constantly relaying bad news to a bloodthirsty audience of rabid, baying hounds, simply waiting to pounce on your every word.

Or to the keyboard warriors of middle-class South Africa, at least.

Same same.

But you can help yourself out if you’re in that situation. Like by not linking to an article in the Randburg Sun entitled:

Tips to help prevent burglaries during load-shedding

Firstly, this makes people feel (even more) unsafe within their own homes, and secondly, given that Eskom is responsible for the loadshedding, does that not imply some sort of responsibility for the increased crime during loadshedding?
I”m no legal expert, but I think it probably does.

The prosecution rests, your honour. Whenever it gets the chance.

But did they even read the article in question? In fact, did the person who wrote the article in question even read the article in question?

I’m just asking, given that some of the tips include:

Make provision for good outside lighting but switch the lights off during the day

Good outside lighting being imperative when there’s no electricity, of course.

And:

If your house alarm goes off or you hear strange noises or your dogs bark, switch on the outside lights, but do not go outside.

Of course, there being loadshedding, those good outside lights will be of limited no use, but you can flick the switch and hear the click of nothing happening if it makes you feel any better.

Also, because we have a beagle, our dog barking is quite a strange noise, anyway.
Two birds right there.

Ah yes. The lights have just gone out and they won’t be back on for another 2½ hours. It’s the third of these blackouts today and there will be at least another three tomorrow. I’m going to have to post this via my cellphone using the tower in the adjoining neighbourhood – our local one is down, as it always during these times. So now, I need to go and stand in my front garden to get signal.

It’s looking rather dark out there. I’d better go and switch on the outside lights.

 

Oh.

Drink, don’t think

It’s been a bit of a crappy day. Sick son, various work stresses, lots of running around, covid panic, loadshedding. Loadshedding times three, in fact. Seven and a half hours without electricity. Let’s not pretend this is anywhere near the First World.

It all seems horribly out of my control right now.

World’s fucked

commented someone. And he wasn’t far wrong. That’s also (almost) the opening line to Therapy?’s Stop It You’re Killing Me, which given the ever-rising death toll from the virus, seems spookily appropriate.

There are some evenings when you want to drink a bottle of red and think about how things are going and work out how you can improve the situation. But this isn’t one of those evenings. This is just a drink a bottle of red and try not to think about anything kind of evening.

I’m sure I’m not the only one feeling rather hopeless at the moment. But knowing that really doesn’t make things any better.

SARS-CoV-2 spin off facts

I haven’t personally verified these (but they’re all probably more true than yesterday’s nonsense).

The makers of Corona (beer) have already lost sales of R4.3 billion to the coronavirus.

Not because of the name association, just because China was one of their biggest markets and no-one is going out drinking there anymore.

_____

Visits to Mecca halted because of coronavirus outbreaks. 

“Saudi Arabia on Thursday halted travel to the holiest sites in Islam over coronavirus fears just months ahead of the annual Hajj pilgrimage, as the Middle East recorded more than 220 confirmed cases.”

Link

And Friday prayers in Tehran have also been cancelled for the first time since the Islamic Revolution in 1979.

_____

Coronavirus has cut China’s carbon emissions by 100 million metric tons

That’s as much as Chile produces in a whole year.

Not least because of the slow down in domestic air travel there.

_____

The Rand has fallen through the floor

Global fears over the coronavirus, jittery markets overseas, emerging markets hit hardest, loadshedding still very much a thing, Moody’s downgrade coming. If you were here for good news about the South African economy (because honestly, where else would you go?), I really can’t help. “Soz.”

Carnage

 

 

Otherwise, you well?