No huge fanfares here, this app does exactly what you would expect it to do. And that’s cool because the computicket website is a pain to use on a handheld device.
With this, you can browse listings and events and check seating plans before buying your tickets via their secure server. All very nice, very smooth, very user friendly.
Will it crash on the mornings when tickets for big events like Coldplay and U2 are released?
Probably.
Available free on the Android Market now, or just scan here:
With the UK riots just a distant memory now and the majority of the perpetrators safely behind bars already, I was shocked to find a family who appear to have got away almost scot-free; this despite documented evidence that they were part of the problems faced by Britain at that time.
Rest assured that I have already passed on all I know to the relevant authorities. However, I thought that I should also share this damning evidence with my readers – and indeed name and shame those individuals responsible, the majority of whom appear to go by their gang names: Flopsy, Mopsy, Cotton-tail and Peter.
You can’t blame the kids: they live in an absolute hole. There’s no father figure in their lives – he was killed while carrying out a robbery – and their mother seems uncaring. Indeed, as far as I can see, they are pretty much left to their own devices for the whole day as she heads out shopping, merely telling them:
Now run along and don’t get into mischief.
Immediately, ignoring her advice, 3 of the children head out looting:
Flopsy, Mopsy, Cotton-tail who were good little bunnies, went down the lane to gather blackberries.
Presumably “the lane” is White Hart Lane in Tottenham and the blackberries come from the local O2 shop.
But this story centres mainly around the eldest sibling, Peter. While the others are illegally garnering crappy cellphones, he engages in trespass and theft in the garden of a local elderly resident.
First he ate some lettuces and French beans; then he ate some radishes;
And then, feeling rather sick, he went to look for some parsley.
I’m guessing “parsley” is street slang for marijuana or some such illicit substance.
All is going well for Peter until, smashed off his face on “parsley”, he encounters the homeowner and a chase ensues. Now all too often, we have heard of these OAPs keeling over with a heart attack, but fortunately, this guy seems stronger, and armed with a gardening implement, he goes after Peter.
Peter hides in an outbuilding and – in an effort to change his appearance – sheds his jacket. However, the old man tracks him down and Peter ends up smashing a window, “upsetting three plants” and possibly getting injured while escaping:
After a time, he began to wander about , going lippity-lippity – not very fast and looking all around.
Once he believes the coast is clear, he decides to make a run for it and manages to make it back home. No questions are asked as to where he has been or what he has done – indeed, his mother merely doses him up with camomile tea (the leporine equivalent of ritalin, I suppose) before he heads off to bed.
It’s a truly shocking tale and the worst bit about it is that it is openly and widely available to our children. Are there really lessons in here that we want to teach them? That non-existent parenting is acceptable? That petty crime has no consequences? That regular use of parsley is not something to be concerned about?
Is it any wonder we find ourselves facing these problems?
So sang 80’s hair rockers Bon Jovi. In a manner of speaking, anyway.
But I’m actually referring to accurately-targeted email advertising. Specifically this one:
Hello Mr 6000,
Are you looking for something in our Tablet PCs store? If so, you might be interested in these items.
Asus EeePad Transformer TF101 10.1 inch Tablet PC (nVidia Tegra2 1GHz, 1Gb, 16Gb eMMC, WLAN, BT, Android 3.0) with docking station and keyboard
RRP: £429.99
Price: £418.13 & this item Delivered FREE in the UK with Super Saver Delivery.
(See details and conditions)
You Save: £11.86 (3%)
In stock.
Dispatched from and sold by Amazon.co.uk.
Gift-wrap available.
Yes. Yes, I am interested. Very interested. And you damn well know it, because I spend several hours a day gazing at the tablet porn on your site.
Specifically this little baby.
I have checked out her stats, I have checked out the 3% discount, I have checked out the fact that gift wrap is available.
Yes: gift wrap.
The fact is that I had previously thought that I was immune to this sort of advertising. But they’ve hit the spot here and they know that I will click their links and gaze upon her wonder again and again. And eventually I will be worn down and I will submit and I will part with my hard earned Rands and I will have her.
This happens so rarely to me that I can’t even remember it happening before. Except when I moved to SA after a whole week’s pressure from my wife. And since that seems to have worked out so well, I see no reason that this one won’t end happily as well. (Are you reading this, dear?)
UPDATE: And this is why I need it:
Exactly.
As the new ramp from the M5 North onto the N1 North was opened this morning, with it ended an years-old tradition for many Capetonians – the opportunity to cut-in to the queuing traffic at Koeberg Interchange.
In a press release announcing the opening, a city spokeswoman stated:
The question, much posed in the local media and at parties, as to whether you would describe yourself as a “cutter” or a “queuer” is now no longer valid. The opening of this new ramp will end a great deal of animosity from those who queue, who have endured a great deal of ridicule from the cutting fraternity. This will reduce the negative energy during rush hour and make Cape Town an even nicer place to be: there’s also a wonderful view of Table Mountain from the new bridge.
Drivers will now be able to sail freely through this bottleneck and continue their journey towards Canal Walk and the Boerewors Curtain without delay. Motorists should stay left if they wish to join the N1 North, take the middle lane if they are heading for the city and choose the right lane for the M5 to Milnerton or just for old time’s sake.
The honour of being the final cutter was taken by Chantelle Wessels, a sales manager from Durbanville: a moment caught on the newly-installed Freeway Management System (FMS) cameras at the junction:
I are proud to be the one who is taking this honour. I think I can like to claim it not just for me, but for all the sales managers and aggressive type-A personality go-getters everywhere, and also for all BMW drivers – especially those with CY number plates.
We don’t have the time to hang around in these queues like sheep. We are needing to go out and make money in order to gaudily furnish our Tuscan-style mansions. Only this morning, I have sold 2 boxes of folded paper towels and some hand cleanser: that sale wouldn’t have happened until 4 minutes later if I hadn’t cut into the queue.
However, Lester Swart – a former queuer – says he will miss the people cutting into the N1-bound traffic:
Yes, I will miss it. It gave me a challenge on the way to work: defending my place in the queue. There’s a great degree of skill involved: it’s clutch control and passive aggressiveness together that goes into pretending to be unaware of a vehicle on your left hand side trying to slip into the line of cars in front of you and blocking it. I would always count it as a big success when I stopped them getting directly in front of me and forced them to join the line a few cars ahead instead.
Now that opportunity for satisfaction has gone. I will miss it, yes.
But overall, the response to the new ramp and bridge was positive. With the city promising that it would cut up to 8 minutes off journeys to the Northern suburbs, many commuters said that they would prefer to spend their up to 8 minutes extra time anywhere but Bellville and were looking forward to up to an extra 8 minutes in bed each morning.
We went quizzing last night at the Fireman’s Arms in town.
It’s been a while since we were there and it’s become a slick operation in our absence: questions on flatscreens, entry fees added to your tab etc etc. Nice work QuizNiteCT.
One thing that did irritate us though was the amount of blatant cheating going on. It has obviously become so endemic that teams don’t even bother to conceal it anymore. When the prize is a bottle of Klipdrift between six and a cap each, is it really worth it?
Evidently, yes, it is. As quiz legend Dale Collins states on all his picture round handouts:
Mobile phone users are killing quizzes
Quite how you stop the cheating is another matter: tough one. It’s sad, because you shouldn’t have to – it’s all a matter of respect.
Which nicely segues me into this track which caused us no end of discussion last night:
[vimeo clip_id=”24852962″ width=”678″ height=”509″]
Wow. What a great video.
How unlucky is that guy? What a series of inconceivable and unfortunate events, hey?
And he’s got a band in his shoe. In his shoe, people!! LOL!
Last night’s tribulations were around whether it was Weezer or whether it was Wheatus?
Who did Buddy Holly, who did Teenage Dirtbag?
It’s actually quite hard to remember after a few Black Labels…
(but we didn’t look it up on our cellphones.)