Category: learning curve

That SAMJ wedding ring paper

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Incoming DM on twitter:

This seems to be potential blog-fodder for you.

I looked. It was. Oh my, it was.

Are you married? Of course you are. Or perhaps you’re not. Maybe “it’s complicated”, although to be honest, it really shouldn’t be too difficult to work out since it’s a rather binary state of affairs (no pun intended).

We all recognise that one of the enduring symbols of marriage is the wedding ring. If you are married, you can always glance down and instantly remember that you are married. How far do most of us glance down? To the fourth finger on our left hand, of course, as tradition dictates. I say “most of us”, because if you’re in rural Limpopo, there is somewhere else you can stick it.

Hence a recent paper (A Fhima & N Lahouel, 2016) in the South African Medical Journal:

We report a case of penile strangulation with a wedding ring in an adult man who presented at Van Velden Hospital casualty department, Limpopo, South Africa.

Meh. Penile strangulation with a wedding ring. We’ve all done it*.

Penile strangulation is a rarely described medical emergency. Removal of the strangulating object is challenging, with a lack of proper guidelines.

Already, this is good. But the detail is better. Much, much better:

A 28-year-old man presented to the casualty department of Van Velden Hospital, which is in a rural part of Limpopo Province, South Africa…

Yes. And?

…accompanied by his mother.

u wot m8?

micdrop

Ag, nooit! How do we think that phone call went, then?

Hi Mum. Hoe gaan dit?
No, no, I’m fine thanks.
Er… just wondering if you were doing anything this evening? Any plans?
I… er… It’s just I need a lift.
Where? Oh, nowhere really. Maybe the… hospital. A bit.
Why? Oh, no particular reason. Just…

[whispers] …please hurry.

And when they got there…

His penis was severely swollen and blue, and constricted with a ring (wedding ring) at the middle section. The patient reported that he had applied the ring 4 hours previously…

Why would anyone do that?

…for erotic reasons…

My question still stands. Why would anyone do that?
What were you thinking?
Where on earth do you get that sort of idea? The idea that putting an inflexible metal band of limited diameter around a bit of your body that is… well… that is known for “getting bigger” is a good idea?

…on the recommendation of friends.

Ah. Suddenly all is explained. “Friends”, ne? Again, let’s try to place ourselves as a fly on the wall when that conversation took place. How do you get to the point in a chat with your mates when one (or more) of them suggest that slipping your wedding ring off your finger and over your winkie might be a good way to obtain some sort of sexual gratification? I mean, I remember at the braai on Sunday when my group of friends were recommending putting an orange in one’s mouth and a bin bag over one’s head in an effort to improve the quality of one’s (self) love life, but they’d never suggest putting one’s wedding ring… well… anywhere.
Still, let’s have a bit of superfluous information to complete the horrific mental picture, shall we?

His wife had delivered 2 weeks ago by caesarean section.

At this point, I was most amazed that someone who would choose to do something like this was actually married.
Then I remembered what he’d got stuck on his willy. Look, it’s been a long day. Already.

The penis was erect and blue and the patient was in severe pain.

Now, I should point out right now that there are some pictures. I thought long and hard (STOP SNIGGERING AT THE BACK!) about putting them on here. And I thought that I wouldn’t. It’s up to you if you want to click through and see… see “stuff”.

If you do want to see the effect of four hours of penile strangulation with a wedding ring in an adult man click here.

What’s wrong with you?

Back to the story. Once you’ve got a wedding ring stuck on your bits, how do the doctors get it off?

With difficulty.

First off, you try the string method:

We first attempted to use the string method to remove the ring, with the patient under sedation with ketamine. However, this failed because of excessive swelling.

Then you try…

…using an orthopaedic oscillating saw.

*involuntary clench* But:

The ring proved too wide and strong, with limited space due to swelling.

And then… well, then you try using an aspiration method.

Multiple puncture aspirations were applied with a 20 mL syringe and a pink needle.

*immediate reclench* But suddenly:

The oedema subsided and the ring was successfully removed.

Oedema being the clinical term for swelling. Because being stabbed multiple times with a 20mL syringe and a pink needle in your… er… pink needle will cause your oedema to subside. Fairly rapidly, I’d imagine.

The patient was admitted and treated with broad-spectrum antibiotics and analgesia. Within 3 days he had recovered completely and was discharged. One month later, the patient was reviewed as an outpatient. He reported full recovery.

And they all lived happily ever after.

Possibly, anyway.

If you take nothing away from this clearly cautionary tale, then you’re an idiot. If you do take something away from this cautionary tale, then it’s surely got to be that you should refrain from putting your (or anyone else’s) wedding ring on your member.

Just. Don’t.

 

* obviously no. No, we haven’t.

“Thanks” Jacques

Facebook images

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On my Facebook this morning, these:

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Yes, it was “only” Leyton Orient, but you can only beat what – or who – is put in front of you. And they were well beaten.
Apparently it was “a footballing exhibition”. We don’t get many of them at Beautiful Downtown Bramall Lane.

And then… this?

14962518_10154240154903710_9161354421735151647_nIt’s all a bit Scarfolk, isn’t it?

Here’s the gen.

Housed in a graffitied 40ft shipping container, The Aftermath Dislocation Principle (or the #ADPRiotTour) is a miniature world full of irreverent, post-apocalyptic scenes created by artist Jimmy Cauty (from 90s duo The KLF). This artwork was originally part of Banksy’s Dismaland Experience in Weston-super-Mare in 2015 and was shown at the Royal Academy in London this summer.
With your support this unorthodox artwork will be outside B&M Bargains in Macclesfield from Tuesday 15th to Monday 21st November to continue the town’s cultural revolution.
The container is internally lit from 11am-7pm so visitors can view the interior townscape through the peep holes all around.

Ah yes, but beware the Macclesfield Cultural Revolution. Knowledgable individuals will tell you that it’s been coming for quite a while. And it’ll be big too. Right up there with the Great Illyrian Revolt and The Khmelnytsky Uprising of Cossacks in Ukraine against Polish nobility in the Polish–Lithuanian Commonwealth.

And we all know how that ended.

And meanwhile, on the Isle of Man:

the strictly craze grips the nation

Yes.

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Presumably the nation in question being that of Ellan Vannin. And yes, given the Island’s geographical position twixt England and Ireland, Manx Folk Dancing seems to basically be the bastard child of Morris Dancing and Riverdance:

I bet your Facebook was nowhere near this interesting this morning.

Pocket knife maker

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Nice piece this on the revival of the little mesters in Sheffield.
What are a “little mester”, I hear you ask? Here you go:

A little mester is a self-employed worker who rents space in a factory or works from their own workshop. They were involved in making cutlery or other smallish items such as edge tools (i.e. woodworking chisels). The term is used almost exclusively to describe the craftsmen of the Sheffield area, and is mostly archaic as this manner of manufacture peaked in the 19th century and has now virtually died out.

Except, as you’ll see from the first line, they are reviving, rising phoenix-like from the ashes as part of the craft/artisan revolution that seems to be taking over the whole planet. And the Guardian has got some great pics of Michael May – a cutler working in the little mester tradition in Sheffield:

5760 5762

If you’re ever in the Sheffield area, you can see more industrial heritage – including several little mesters workshops – at the amazing Kelham Island museum.

On the rise and rise of the Sacred Ibis (in Cape Town)

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Hey, people of Cape Town.

Is it just me, or have you also noticed a distinct increase in the number of African Sacred Ibis (Threskiornis aethiopicus) in or around the Mother City lately?

sacib

They seem to be significantly outnumbering Hadeda Ibis (Bostrychia hagedash) now. I mentioned this in passing a couple of years ago, but their onward march towards overall avian local domination seems to have gained pace since then.

They are sinister, generally silent, ugly scavengers on the ground, but once airborne, their long beaks, dark heads and the black tips of their wing feathers make them quite beautiful. Kind of like an inverse ostrich. There are some photos of each of these states (grounded, airborne) on my Flickr stream, but I need to take some better images with a better camera and in better light.

Fortunately, given the ominous, ongoing rise of the African Sacred Ibis in my proximity, there will be a plenty of opportunities for snapping.

Information is king

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Cash used to be king, then thanks to Bill Gates, content was king for a while, but we’re now in the information age and information is now king having deposed the other two in a bloodless coup.

And I, for one, welcome our new factual overlord.

Further evidence of this monarchical shift is the daily stats on 6000 miles…, your favourite go to blog for all things… well… for all things. We can like to do eclectic.

Here’s a prime example – which were the pages that people looked at most on here yesterday?

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The big news in SA yesterday was the State Capture Report. Everyone wanted to read the 355 pages for themselves, seeking possible confirmation that our President had been acting improperly, unethically, in a corrupt manner, and generally taking the country for a ride for the benefit of himself and a few of his cronies. (Confirmation was duly provided.)
The website of the office of the Public Protector was overloaded, so I helped out by uploading a PDF of the report on here. And lots of people viewed that post. I would count this is an information post.

In second place yesterday was people accessing the front page of the blog. Simply typing “www.6000.co.za” into their URL bar and looking at what was on offer there. It’s loads. Loads.

Third place goes to the SARS minus number post. Also helpful information. SARS is our taxation service, and once you’ve submitted your tax return, they drop you an email with a number in the OWED TO YOU box at the bottom. Often this number has a minus sign in front of it. But who owes whom in that case? People are confused and thus that post, which explains all, is regularly up in the daily top 3.

Fourth, more reference material. For the morning and evening rush hours, the barriers at Kenilworth station in Cape Town remain closed for a prolonged period of time. But what are those times? I posted them, and people regularly click through to find out.

Fifth “Stop Zuma“, probably related to the State Capture thing and this tweet, bizarrely suggesting that the DA’s election campaign from 7½ years ago could now be considered a raging success (if you conveniently ignore its repeated failures and the unfolding national disaster in the intervening period). (And the fact that Zuma has actually not been stopped.) (But otherwise, sure.)

More informative posts at sixth and seventh. Helpfully sharing which towns the two or three letter codes on Western Cape numberplates belong to. And those all-important Level 3 Water Restrictions for drought-stricken Cape Town.

The remainder of the Top 10 is filled with yesterday’s post in which I was tacitly described as being “very obviously common” and “probably something perfectly frightful like a Primitive Methodist”, Tuesday’s sharing of those wondrous aerial photographs, and -perhaps somewhat unexpectedly – images of a land crab from September 2010.
Nice, but uninformative.

My point stands though, in that while far less than half of the posts on here are “reference” or “information” posts, those posts still fill a disproportionate number of slots on my daily most popular post rankings.

People like to know things.

Maybe I should go full reference? After all, that’s what Wikipedia did and I believe that they are ever so popular.

Except that popularity isn’t why 6000 miles… exists. And it’s a good job too, to be honest. So I think that I’ll just keep sharing the good stuff, passing comment on silly people, venting my spleen on occasion – and making that all important information available where necessary, in an effort to make your day just a little bit better.

Don’t like it? Feel free to demand a full refund.