Tag: sheffield

I have questions: “that guy carrying on around Broomhill” edition

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Spotted on Reddit, this:

There’s a lot going on here for a three-line post.

First off, let’s put the serious baby to bed: mental illness is no joke, and there are too many people wandering around our societies that could do with help. The guy shouting and fighting invisible assailants in his underwear at the bottom of Alphen Hill is one.

Wait. Let me rephrase that.

The guy in his underwear shouting and fighting invisible assailants at the bottom of Alphen Hill is one.

Same words. Different order. Different meaning. More accurate. Better.

But that aside – because I can’t do anything about the need for more social care here or in Sheffield – lots to dig into.

First off, then: Broomhill or Broomhall? This is a local point of interest, but I’ve always considered that the Botanical Gardens were sandwiched between Endcliffe and Broomhall. Unless you mean the electoral ward of Broomhill and Sharrow Vale, in which case absolutely, fair enough.

But who talks about electoral wards outside of local elections?

And you’re saying that this guy is “weird” and “very strange”.

Next up. That’s a lot of information to have picked up in just a quick jog past. And that suggests that the poster here had his interest piqued enough that either a) he stopped and listened for a while, or b) he jogged past several times in order to pick up more details.

Either way, that doesn’t seem fair, given that we are warned in the title of his post to “stay away”. What is he really concerned about: our safety in the presence of a (quite literally) raving (quite literally) mad (quite literally) man, or that we might actually find out where Atlantis is?

I know we’ve all been wondering.

And he says it was weird (yes) and incoherent, but he’s clearly gained a lot of detail there about the gold guilder and the wizard. Sadly, judging by the post, which suggests that the subject of the tale was entirely visible, the guilder – golden, nogal – was wasted because the wizard was a fake.

Never trust a wizard. Or rather anyone anyone saying that they are a wizard.

I think we’ve all been duped at some time or another.

“He made some good points”

Wut?

Did he? What were they, then? Because checking the post above, you don’t mention anything that – for me, at least – might fall into the relatively broad category of “good points”.

Once again, we’re left with more questions than answers. Not least the location of Atlantis.

Very frustrating.

UPDATE: This comment in response to the post:

Oh, I have seen him in the cemetery off Ecclesall Rd, saying pretty similar things whilst also dancing to some fabulous 90s techno

Wow. I’ve got new found respect for the guy now I’ve read that. Clearly he is trying to get the message across, through the medium of dance. Keep it up, fella!

Knife crime solved (but not stone/rock crime)

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Incoming from one of our crime correspondents back in the UK, this:

Knifes should BANNED!!

Claire’s gone in hard there. No messing around. No hesitancy. No doubting her feelings. Some question over what might be her home language, but that’s really beside the point.

Knifes should BANNED!!

Given that this is an emotive subject and looking her upfront, overt statement, it’s unsurprising that others might choose to voice their own opinions on this subject. And Top Fan Sharon is right there, not even bothering with even basic punctuation, feeling that the words speak for themselves.

Yes I agree but how .

They’re the staple of every kitchen

Knifes are indeed the staple of every kitchen. Knifes and other utensils. And also food. But you never hear of anyone being stabbed to death with a spatula or a Asian-style pork belly with ginger and lemongrass, now do you? It’s clearly knifes that are the problem and that’s why knifes should BANNED!!

And, in theory, this somewhat draconian, but well-meaning plan, whilst making basic cooking and eating rather difficult, would likely eradicate knife crime pretty quickly. But the yoof of todayTM aren’t foolish. If they can’t stab you with a knife, they’ll just turn to other means of… er… “protection”, like spatulas stones / rocks ! . And as Sharon points out:

Can’t ban those.

Not like knifes.

The world is made up of stones / rocks ! and if we were to ban stones / rocks ! , then we’d have nothing to stand on. Banning stones / rocks ! makes the whole knifes should BANNED!! idea seem like a walk in the park. Although not Mortomley Park, obviously. The police cordons are still in place there.

The fact is that there is actually a really good law banning kids (or anyone else) in the UK from carrying knifes, and there has been since 1988, when MPs debated the motion “knifes should BANNED!!” in Parliament and came up with the Criminal Justice Act in response.

So knifes should BANNED!! albeit at the expense of the culinary arts. And with stones / rocks ! seemingly impossible to restrict or control. It looks like we might be losing the war on juvenile crime. Still, at least they chose to go down the stones / rocks ! route and they haven’t turned to firearms.

Or have they? How on earth (still here, made of of stones / rocks ! – can’t ban those) are we supposed to deal with that situation?

Claire’s back to sort us out:

yeah also gun!

I’m sorry, what? Pray explain, Dawn?

gun need banned

What? All of it?

Like under the extensive, far-reaching, oft-updated Firearms Act of 1968, you mean?

I think that what these erstwhile ladies are missing is the fact that actually knifes are BANNED!! and also gun – gun are banned, too. Also, stabbing and shooting people are banned. Even with a spatula.

It’s almost as if the people carrying the knifes and the gun, and doing the stabbing and shooting, don’t really care about what the law says that they can or can’t do.

Why, I’d wager that they’d even throw stones / rocks ! at each other (and probably everyone else, lol) if it was illegal.

It was worth a try, but it does seem that your well-meaning, poorly expressed, grammatically disastrous comments aren’t actually going to help.

Because, to be honest, all this nastiness actually comes down to the people.
But banning people is like stones / rocks ! –
can’t ban those!

The only thing that could actually make this situation any better is some legislation about social media.

Yes: Facebook should BANNED!!

Thanks, Crime Correspondent

Mouldmaster

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Spotted this on Facebook earlier, and never have I identified with anything quite so much.

Memories of Mr Dalton and Mr “Mental” Mantle came flooding back straight away.

Ankle deep in claggy mud on the top field. The slap as the ball hit your cold, wet thigh, and the peach and purple pattern it immediately left behind.

Legally assaulting an opponent by belting the ball directly at them was a completely acceptable – and oft used – tactic. And when faced with the other side weaponising the Mouldmaster, it was imperative that you didn’t back down or “nesh” the challenge. Taking the hit and then carrying on sent a very powerful message. Even if you were weeping internally.

Which you were.

30-something years on, and just the sight of that ball has got my inner thigh tingling.

And not in a good way.

Sheffield Tribune

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I was nodded in this direction on the advice of The Guru. And he’s done a good job (again).

It’s The Sheffield Tribune.

A disproportionate amount of my UK readers are from in or around the Sheffield area, so maybe this is of more use that you think.

Welcome to The Tribune – Sheffield’s new independent quality newspaper, delivered via email.

We publish thoughtful, in-depth stories about the region’s politics, business, culture, history and local people. Plus our free Monday Briefings keep you informed about all the Sheffield stories you need to know, plus lots of great recommendations for things to do and read.

The Tribune is a brand new venture, started in 2021 by local journalist Dan Hayes to provide a totally different kind of local journalism — one that doesn’t chase cheap clicks and doesn’t cover stories in horrible ads. Instead of pumping out dozens of stories every day, we pick a handful of topics each week and look into them properly, giving you the insight and context you need to understand what is really going on.

Yes. To compare the reading experience with the ad-filled pages of the Sheffield Star:

there’s a story in there somewhere…

…and it is chalk and cheese. And it does seem that there are some high quality stories there too. Interesting, quirky, informative stories.

Like Southern people discovering how great The North is. Who knew?

We all knew.

Anyway, if you’re interested, give it a go on that link above. There are many different paid subscriptions available, but maybe give the free stuff a go first and see how you get on.



I missed the moon

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Every month seems to bring a different moon thing these days. Sturgeon Moon, Blood Moon, Super Blood Moon, Super Blood Super Moon, Blood Blood Super Blood Strawberry Moon, Buck Moon, Flower Moon, Wolf Moon etc. usw. ens.

We never had those names when I were a lad, and I don’t care if they are the traditional American First Nation nomenclature for them, I don’t want them now either.

As it happens, we got none of this month’s Nonsense Moon down here. The weather was overcast and grey and the moon was merely a bit full when we did catch sight of it through the clouds. But thanks to the power of Facebook and the ubiquity of mobile phone cameras in the Northern Hemisphere, I don’t feel like we missed out at all. Here are some examples from groups in Sheffield, Bergen and the Isle of Man. Special moments, captured specially.

To begin: Deliciously dreamy soft focus over industrial Attercliffe:

“That’s no moon!”. Orange blob over unnamed warehouses:

They’ve #RBOSSed the moon:

Twice. Seriously, this looks like the Teletubbies sun has got the bad jaundice:

I call this one “thanks for sharing”. It could be a streetlight for all we know. Try taking the phone right out of your pocket before grabbing the shot next time:

This is better. It’s like you were actually there. But you forgot to bring your glasses:

Bergen. Norway’s most beautiful city. Home to this 1.3MP potato camera:

And then finally, my favourite. Where the ‘tog has got all the elements (the moon, the shimmering water, the fairytale castle) he or she was after, but feels that it just needs a touch of editing to bring out the best bits – then slips on the dehaze slider and in the process somehow manages to tear through the fabric of time:

Seriously, what on earth happened there?!?

Given the number of images on social media, it’s clear that this month’s full moon was something rather special. It’s also clear that a lot of mobile phone photography has a long way to go before we can reasonably say that it’s worth sharing on social media – or anywhere else.