This will end well… (not)

Stand by for quite possibly the worst decision to hit Cape Town since they allowed me to live here:

City opens Sea Point Promenade to cyclists, skateboarders and rollerbladers during Transport Month

Yep. You read it right. The already congested Sea Point Promenade is about to be opened to “users of alternative transport methods, also known as Active Mobility”.

As David Moseley tweeted:

Cyclists on Sea Point promenade. Plus loony runners. Plus dopey dog walkers. Plus elderly strollers. Hello Prom Carnage. Daft, utterly daft.

Of course, our friend Councillor Brett Herron reminded everyone:

Cyclists, skateboarders and rollerbladers must, in all cases, give right of way to pedestrians, prams and wheelchair users, and travel at a safe and sensible speed.
“We have consulted local representatives for the various types of non-motorised transport, who have offered to launch Twitter and Facebook campaigns to remind their members of the basic rules of etiquette expected from Active Mobility users on the promenade,” said Councillor Herron.

So that’s alright then, because we know that cyclists are law-abiding citizens at the best of times. And yes, I know that someone will comment on here that they are a law abiding cyclist and so are all the cyclists they know. Been there, read that, seen you on the roads.

Has this decision been sponsored by MediClinic or something? I recognise it’s just a trial period and I’m sure that the best will be made of whatever decision is made at the end of the trial, but how many people are going to get hurt on the first sunny evening of October?

But wait, just in case you didn’t think that this was risky enough, this:

This trial period will also cater for the increasing numbers of tour guides taking groups of cycling tourists along key scenic routes in the city.

Groups. Of. Cycling. Tourists.

Groups of cycling tourists on Sea Point Prom.

It’s like the perfect storm of potential injury. Why not blindfold everyone and add some crocodiles as well, just to ensure maximum carnage?
Hell, why not blindfold the crocodiles too.
Hilarity will ensure.
I promise.

Why can every Cape Town resident on social media immediately see that this is a seriously flawed plan, yet the council – presumably having weighed up the pros and cons – think it is a good idea?

While completely appreciating the idea that the Prom is “a treasure to be shared with people from all over Cape Town and beyond”, I can’t see this ending well. At all.

Comments below, please…

Kaptein span die seile

Boerestep.
Because we’ve been incredibly naughty and deserve all sorts of punishment, it could just be the next big thing.

You thought it was bad when Kurt Darren threw his now infamous Dans Treffer “Kaptein (span die seile)” at us. And you were right, because it was. If you have somehow managed to avoid this phenomenon thus far, well done, but prepare to join the “what has been heard cannot be unheard” club right here and now with the no expense spent official video:

Now, the musical genius of DJ Naaldekoker (that’s DJ Dragonfly to us rooineks), has taken arguably Kurt’s most irritating famous work and set it to a dubstep beat, thus creating the genre which will be henceforth known as Boerestep.

[soundcloud]http://soundcloud.com/dj-naaldekoker/kaptein-dj-naaldekoker-remix[/soundcloud]

If this catches on – and with the current success of anything and everything dubstep, together with the continued, bewildering popularity of Afrikaans pop, I have absolutely no doubt that it might – we could be on the verge of the biggest thing to hit South African music since Craig Hinds et al released Indigo Girl, which was, quite literally, a Watershed moment.

Please forward any further examples of Boerestep to us here at 6000 miles… and we will keep the population abreast and forewarned of the advancing menace of the genre.
Prizes may be given for the best (worst) examples.

After the calm…

It’s been enlightening and slightly amusing reading and hearing news from Cape Town today. We’re not that far away – a couple of hundred kilometres tops – and yet they seem to have been struggling with grey, wet weather there. We’ve been living it up with blue skies for most of the day, albeit with a rather dramatic (read severe gale, gusting storm force) northwester in attendance as well.

image

I digitally sucked all the colour out of that so as not to upset the folks back home too much. But the sea has been wild today. I did get some pics on the “big” camera, but I don’t have the means to easily upload them here, so that’ll have to wait till we return home tomorrow.
I’m not sure how good they will be anyway, as I was constantly fighting to keep the sea spray off the lens. And constantly losing too.