Category: annoying people

Blue Flag

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I might be on a nice little island with some lovely beaches, but are any of them Blue Flag Beaches?

Well, actually, no.

While Mauritius is making efforts to achieve Blue Flag status for its beaches, and some beaches have the potential for it, there are no universally recognized Blue Flag beaches listed in the search results for 2025.

Although the water here is stunningly blue and appears to be crystal clear.

Back home, however, Cape Town is full of Blue Flags:

Yep:

  • Bikini Beach
  • Camps Bay
  • Clifton 4th
  • Fish Hoek
  • Llandudno
  • Melkbosstrand
  • Muizenberg
  • Silwerstroomstrand

As ever though, (some of) the locals are accusing the city of “paying” for the titles (that’s not how it works), complaining that their local beach (not on the list) isn’t very clean, or quite simply inventing weird reasons why Cape Town shouldn’t have any Blue Flag Beaches.

Ah yes, the old “orange urine” thing.
And that “continuous” issue.

You might want to see a doctor, Johann.

But I don’t think there’s much danger of that sort of thing, really. Let’s say that 10,000 people each urinate 250ml into the ocean. That’s a total of 2,500 litres of wee. And that sounds a lot until you understand that the volume of the South Atlantic is 160,000,000,000,000,000,000 litres. (That’s 160 million km3).

I think that’s going to be pretty diluted.

I think we’re going to be ok.

As for me – I’m going to take my chances with the Indian Ocean outside my door.

Happy Swimming!

Internet ads

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Love them or hate them (and honestly you’re a bit of a weirdo if you’re in the former camp), they’re part of our everyday browsing and doomscrolling experience. And I get the gist how they work: looking at your behaviour online, and then targeting ads to best lever a little more money out of you for the things that you know, love and need.

Except… they don’t always quite hit the mark, do they?

No.

I promise you that I have not looked up, discussed or in any way browsed anything to do with condoms in the last twenty-plus years. But still, I got a condom ad this weekend. But it wasn’t actually the condom bit that really confused me. It was the combination of products that I was being offered.

Because for me (and each to their own here), nothing completes a night of passion avec perles et nervures (oh la la!) than a bit of time spent poisoning rodents. And it’s even better when your presevatifs and pellets are 55% off.

Talk about killing the mice mood.

Take this flight ad. Decent prices, sure. We usually put the R in front of the number, but whatever.
But wait a second…

Newcastle-upon-Tyne (a bit random) 3½ times the price of a flight to London? I reckon I could pop on a Kevlar vest and get the train from Heathrow to Tyneside for less than that R6150.

Just.

But beagle-eyed readers will have spotted an additional issue here. Yes, the flight to Cape Town (one way, subject to availability, change and search dates). R589 does seem quite cheap until you realise that you’re already in Cape Town. Turn up to the check-in desk, present your ticket to the agent and prepare to be looked at a bit funny.

“Er… Sir. You’re here.”
“I know. What a bargain, right? Got it on an internet ad.”

And then you look at the price for Joburg and you do some rudimentary calculations and you work out that maybe the internet thinks you’re in Bloemfontein or Kimberley.

Why would anyone be there?

And even if they were, it still doesn’t explain the condoms and rat poison thing, does it?

Finally (for this post, at least) there’s this:

What a selection.

Selected for me, though?

“Tempting Whisper” Body Wash – no.
Brown Onion Soup – no.
Coffee pods – ok, yes.
Deep Heat Spray – only on Wednesdays.
Cesar 100g – pretty sure that’s not actually a lamb.
Cat Food Sticks – absolutely not.

The thing is, they’re wasting their money with all this misaimed stuff, and that means that the prices for the things that I do want to buy from them (from all the ads above, it’s honestly only the coffee) are just that little bit more expensive.

It does make for a good blog post every now and again though, I guess.

Pub quiz issue

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When your pub quiz round goes awry because people – allegedly intelligent, educated people – don’t know what an anagram is.

Honestly, I have no words.

And if I did, they would be all jumbled up.

.

If you’re going to struggle you’re supposed to struggle on getting the answers correct. Not not knowing what a fairly straightforward word in the question means.

How can you not know what an anagram is?

How Science works

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It’s not rocket science. Well, I suppose some of it is. The bits with rockets, most specifically.

But generally, science works by using the Scientific Method: a tried and tested method which has been around for millennia and which has stood us in (very) good stead during that time.

Ask a question, answer that question in your head by forming a hypothesis, test the hypothesis with experimentation, draw a conclusion, report, rinse, repeat.

It’s not difficult. It’s methodical, and it means that you can get meaningful results, whether or not your hypothesis was correct.

What you can’t do is mix up the pretty coloured boxes. That’s not how it works. You don’t make huge, influential, wide-ranging and dramatic statements and decisions based on your hypothesis and then “make the proof” through studies.

Celia has got it right: you don’t “make” the proof at all. Unless you’ve maybe already huge, influential, wide-ranging and dramatic statements and decisions based on your hypothesis, and now you’re scrambling to try and find some sort of escape route.

Surely not, though. Right?

I mean, whatever next?

Of course he does.

Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. Thursday reasserted the unproven link between the pain reliever Tylenol and autism, and suggested people who opposed the theory were motivated by hatred for President Donald Trump. During a meeting with Trump and the Cabinet, Kennedy reiterated the connection, even while noting there was no medical proof to substantiate the claim. He also mistakenly described a pregnant woman’s anatomy and linked autism to circumcision. 

Thankfully, no-one will believe him, though.

Of course they do.

Meanwhile, in America…

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Spotted online today. I’ve been too busy rewiring an office to have too much to say about these, but:

Honestly, I think we went beyond his expertise many, many years ago. It’s actually his brainworm that’s in charge now.

Honestly, I thought that this was made up. How could anyone be so stupid?

But no, he said that. It’s true.

But if the anti-vaxxers and the grifters ever think that they’ve outwitted the scientists, we need to remember that we’re always (at least) one step ahead.

It’s a great idea. It’s just not very original. A guy called Edward Jenner did it in 1796.

240 years of technological advancement, scientific effort and improvements in education, and Jack comes up with a lightbulb moment that – ironically – was devised 85 years before the light bulb was invented.

When will this madness end?