Love them or hate them (and honestly you’re a bit of a weirdo if you’re in the former camp), they’re part of our everyday browsing and doomscrolling experience. And I get the gist how they work: looking at your behaviour online, and then targeting ads to best lever a little more money out of you for the things that you know, love and need.
Except… they don’t always quite hit the mark, do they?
No.
I promise you that I have not looked up, discussed or in any way browsed anything to do with condoms in the last twenty-plus years. But still, I got a condom ad this weekend. But it wasn’t actually the condom bit that really confused me. It was the combination of products that I was being offered.
Because for me (and each to their own here), nothing completes a night of passion avec perles et nervures (oh la la!) than a bit of time spent poisoning rodents. And it’s even better when your presevatifs and pellets are 55% off.
Talk about killing the mice mood.
Take this flight ad. Decent prices, sure. We usually put the R in front of the number, but whatever.
But wait a second…
Newcastle-upon-Tyne (a bit random) 3½ times the price of a flight to London? I reckon I could pop on a Kevlar vest and get the train from Heathrow to Tyneside for less than that R6150.
Just.
But beagle-eyed readers will have spotted an additional issue here. Yes, the flight to Cape Town (one way, subject to availability, change and search dates). R589 does seem quite cheap until you realise that you’re already in Cape Town. Turn up to the check-in desk, present your ticket to the agent and prepare to be looked at a bit funny.
“Er… Sir. You’re here.”
“I know. What a bargain, right? Got it on an internet ad.”
And then you look at the price for Joburg and you do some rudimentary calculations and you work out that maybe the internet thinks you’re in Bloemfontein or Kimberley.
Why would anyone be there?
And even if they were, it still doesn’t explain the condoms and rat poison thing, does it?
Finally (for this post, at least) there’s this:
What a selection.
Selected for me, though?
“Tempting Whisper” Body Wash – no.
Brown Onion Soup – no.
Coffee pods – ok, yes.
Deep Heat Spray – only on Wednesdays.
Cesar 100g – pretty sure that’s not actually a lamb.
Cat Food Sticks – absolutely not.
The thing is, they’re wasting their money with all this misaimed stuff, and that means that the prices for the things that I do want to buy from them (from all the ads above, it’s honestly only the coffee) are just that little bit more expensive.
It does make for a good blog post every now and again though, I guess.