Author: 6000

Magnificent (she says)

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Actually, Magnificent (I say). The first track from Elbow’s forthcoming new album has Guy Garvey’s soothing, uncomplicated voice running over a backdrop of dramatic strings and comes packaged with a suitably triumphant video:

It’s my new favourite tune, with thought provoking lyrics reminding us the powerful innocence and promise of childhood:

And there she stands
Throwing both her arms around the world
The world that doesn’t even know
How much it needs this little girl

It’s all gonna be magnificent, she says
It’s all gonna be magnificent…

and brings with it huge anticipation for the new album Little Frictions, due for release in early February.

Gorgeous.

QUOCKERWODGER

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The infamous QI Elves shared this on Twitter over the weekend:

I think it was conveniently timed to coincide with the upcoming Trump inauguration, but to be fair, we had our own quockerwodger long before DT came onto the political scene.

It seems like it is a borrowed definition:

The term quockerwodger, although originally referring to a wooden toy figure which jerks its limbs about when pulled by a string, has been supplemented with a political meaning. A pseudo-politician, one whose strings of action are pulled by somebody else, is now often termed a quockerwodger.

But it’s a highly accurate one for our President. And – if the “fake news” are to be believed – theirs as well.

Battery

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I had to buy a new car battery today. It was a late decision, and the only battery place still open in the afternoon was Battery Centre in Mowbray:

Mowbray

228 Main Road
snif@iafrica.com
(021) 448 7033

They’re open till 2pm on Saturdays. Lovely.

Not only was the service friendly and generally excellent, but there was this helpful chemical equation on the wall:

So not only do you get the battery, you get to see how it works as well.

Generally good news

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Well actually, Lieutenant-General-ly good news (see what I did there?), in the form of this hugely reassuring press release from the Nigerian Army:

If you are just after a quiet life (whatever country you may be in), then this is clearly great news. Peace good, war bad, amiright?
In publicly asserting that planning to attack any country is categorically not happening…

For the avoidance of doubt, Nigerian Army is not planning to attack any country.

…Lieutenant-General Ty Buratai NAM GSS psc(+) ndc (BD) BA (Hons) MA MPhil has obviously reassured people in any countries right across the world. In doing so, he has, however, also opened up a triple-edged Pandora’s box of doubt.

First off, what if he doesn’t repeat this peaceful assertion? Given that we needed to be told that the Nigerian Army is not planning to attack any country, is the status quo now that the Nigerian Army is planning to attack any country if they don’t tell us that they are not planning to attack any country?

And then what of the other Nigerian Armed Forces? The Nigerian Navy and the Nigerian Air Force? A quick glance at their recent press releases reveals an alarming lack of assurances that they are not planning to attack any country. It’s concerning stuff. If I was in any country (which I am), I would be rather unsettled about the plans of these other two Nigerian military bodies. Very worrying.

Finally, may I just alert you to the other armies of the world, who – as far as I can see – are also not telling us that they have no plans to not attack any country right now? In fact, the Russians are telling us pretty much the opposite, and the Nobel Peace Prize winning President Barack “they’ve forgotten all the drone bombing I authorised” Obama is massing the US Army in Poland, right on Russia’s doorstep as a goodbye gift to the world just before he leaves office.

So while the Nigerian Army’s press release is hugely welcome, it’s merely a drop in the ocean. Still, every journey begins with a single step, and if some of the other world armies could possibly follow the Nigerian Army’s lead, I think this planet might end up being a nicer, safer place for us all.
Especially for those of us in any country.