Tag: south africa

Do not pass Go…

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I really enjoyed Jerm’s offering this morning and he has given me kind permission to share it with you on here:

It really does feel that way at the moment. The sponge is being squeezed and there’s very little bathwater left to drip out.

For us in Cape Town, the next nasty “surprise” is the July 1st rates increase, which inevitably includes hefty hikes in electricity and water as well. While this will obviously prompt shock and outrage from the uninformed population (probably on the 2nd, as the 1st is a Sunday), this happens every year, with alarming regularity.

On a more positive note, we could (could) be looking at a petrol price drop in the meantime. And, if oil continues on its current downward trend and the Rand holds firm for a few more weeks, it might be as much as 55c/litre. That would give you more than 3 weeks to save up so you can light your house in July.

Happy Days!

Max’s thoughts on Mandela’s death

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I read this in yesterday’s Cape Times, but couldn’t find it anywhere online until this morning.
I’m reproducing it here in full because I feel that it’s a great read, bringing together a number of previously undocumented, yet actually fairly obvious ideas and notions around what will doubtless be a very emotional moment in time, and expressing them with objectivity and a great deal of common sense. Make time to read it.

One day he’ll bring us all together
I believe when people cry at the funeral of a loved one, they’re mostly not crying for the deceased, they’re crying for themselves. The death reminds them of their past lives, of their sadnesses and joys, of their own fragilities and mortality, of their apprehension of what lies ahead in their own lives.

We as South Africans and as people of the world know that Nelson Mandela is not going to be with us much longer. He will be 94 in July.

Not many people live that long. We have known for some time that he has become very frail.

And yet when he went to hospital again a few days ago, the headlines, comments and statements in the media proclaimed that the world was “holding its breath”, that his death would be “a trauma” to South Africans, that it would be a “dark day” for the country.

Yes, I will feel a great sadness when Mandela eventually goes. Yes, there will undoubtedly be a national and international outpouring of grief.

But it will not be because we’re sad because we’re actually going to miss him. We haven’t heard him speak for a long time. He hasn’t been a part of our political interaction for years. We’ve moved beyond missing him.

We will cry on the day of his death because it would bring back memories of an exceptional life; of the wonder of his leadership and great spirit that helped us find freedom and a democratic settlement. We will think back on the golden era of his presidency and most of us will quietly ponder how we failed to make the glimpses we saw then of a moral, cohesive and successful nation a reality.

But it will not be a dark day, nor will it be a traumatic day. And the remark made by a columnist that “the day Mandela dies is the end of freedom” is just nonsense.

I am deeply annoyed by the (white) columnists and commentators who still peddle the story that whites fear the day of Mandela’s death because it will bring about a mass slaughter of whites and land grabs such as happened in Zimbabwe. These writers should really get out more.

I know that the lunatic fringe on the extreme right told the story years ago that Mandela’s death would signal the “Night of the Long Knives” and a slide into anarchy. But I seriously doubt if more than a few dozen or a few hundred crazies still believe that myth.

I think I have a very good understanding of white attitudes – after all, some of my best friends are white South Africans.

I’m often disappointed in the poor understanding of our political dynamics demonstrated by so many whites and angry at the reactionary tendencies we often experience.

But I have a strong view that the overwhelming majority of white South Africans, while sceptical of some of the goings-on in the ruling party, have made peace with the new order and don’t seriously think a Zimbabwe-type situation here is at all likely.

Their pre-1994 fears of “black majority rule” have been put to rest as their quality of life has improved and they have been reassured that ours is probably the most stable country in the developing world.

Despite the occasional populist rants and raves from different sides, race relations, especially on a personal level, have never been better. Very few white lunatics still believe that the death of a long-retired politician could lead to a new civil war or complete anarchy.

I have a feeling that Mandela’s eventual death would bring about a rare moment of national unity between all groups and classes.

There are very few South Africans who did not love and admire Nelson Mandela. Mourning together will probably bring us the kind of feeling we had with the 1995 Rugby World Cup and the 2010 soccer World Cup. It will serve as a reminder to all of us what we could have been and should have been by now.

The culture of the last few years in and outside ANC circles to ask “what would Mandela have thought of this?” will probably, hopefully, continue. He represented the best in all of us as a people. The present ANC leadership’s war of attrition against our constitution and the judiciary started while Mandela was still alive.

We will have to counter that assault on the cornerstone of our democracy and remind the ANC that our constitution represents the legacy of our great national heroes Mandela, Oliver Tambo and Walter Sisulu.

When the essence of our constitution is undermined, our stability, cohesion and freedom will be undermined.

I wish Mandela a gentle, comfortable life for as long as his body is willing. I hope he knows that his leaving us will be his last act of bringing his nation together once again.

Brilliant simplicity and sense.

Thanks Jacques

Whose Fault Is It Anyway?

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Part – indeed much – of my journey home from work features the M5 and much of that journey is usually rather slow. It gives me a chance to have a look around at the fetid industrial heartland of Cape Town, before I head down into the leafier suburbs further south.

As I’ve mentioned once or twice before, Cape Town (and South African) drivers in general seem incapable of obeying the rules of the road, but two incidents that I’ve spotted over the past couple of days have left me intrigued from a legal point of view.

The first involved a vehicle from the Provincial Motor Transport fleet. The guy driving it was talking on his cellphone and so he wasn’t paying a huge amount of attention to his driving. Thus, he veered into the yellow lane at the side of the freeway, where he almost hit a cyclist. Whose fault would that have been? You might think that it’s a bit of a no-brainer: driver on cellphone, not paying attention, veers, hits cyclist. Blame driver.
But of course, the cyclist shouldn’t have been there anyway, since they aren’t permitted to be on freeways (or to ride 2 abreast or to go through red lights or to go the wrong way down one way streets or do all the other illegal things that cyclists do). So maybe the driver could have argued that the it should have been safe for him to veer to the left without fear of squashing anyone.

The second is more clear cut. A van, delivering gas (gas go boom boom if van crashes), travelling in the right hand lane, spots a phat traffic jam ahead and decides he wants nothing to do with it. Helpfully, there’s a junction right there, so he can nip off the freeway and avoid the delay. There are just two things stopping him from carrying out this manoeuvre: there’s a solid white line and a lane of traffic to… no… wait… there’s apparently nothing stopping him from carrying out this manoeuvre as he lurches violently to the left and almost hits a Renault Scenic. Whose fault would that have been? Well, his, obviously.
Except for the fact that the woman driving said Scenic could have done a whole lot more to avoid the potential accident if she hadn’t been smoking a fag with one hand, doing her make-up with the other and being on the phone with the third. Her value as a witness would have been compromised by her extensive head injuries suffered in the accident as she wasn’t wearing a seatbelt.
But then the gas go boom boom would have killed us all anyway.

I spot a lot, but then, it’s a long, slow journey and there’s a lot to spot. But then I followed a Ghost Squad (unmarked traffic police) car down the M5 the other evening and was amazed at what he apparently didn’t spot. In the 3.5kms that I was right behind him, I counted 27 different offences by various motorists. No seatbelts, unrestrained kids, drivers using cellphones, crossing solid white lines, fag butts out of windows, a couple of cyclists etc etc.

He apparently saw nothing. Neither did the Ghost Squad motorbike that passed us both by Kromboom Road.

With law enforcement like that, it’s no wonder that drivers believe that they can break the law with impunity, and it’s no wonder that South Africa’s road death statistics are so horrific.

On South African Seaside Homes, Part One

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Warning! This Post Contains Some Bad Language.

For years now, those South Africans who can, have taken their money and invested it in often hideous second homes by the sea. Freed from the constraints of day-to-day urban dwelling, they let themselves go in every way, shape and form, resulting in the architectural ruination of towns and villages which have the misfortune to be near a beach. One can see this phenomenon at work in Yzerfontein, in Pringle Bay, in Betty’s Bay, Rooiels, Onrus and Hermanus. When you see the abominations which have sprung up in these places, you are instantly thankful for the draconian planning regulations which are robustly enforced in our cities.

There’s a lot to be said for letting yourself go in a second home. It’s a chance to relax, to unwind, to escape. But rather leave that until after your second home is built. Put in that vulgar bar that your wife won’t let you have at home, drink too much and eat unhealthily every time you go there, but at least wait until the external building work as been completed before “expressing yourself”. Please.

That’s not to say that there aren’t some beautiful second homes out there as well. But you’re going to be hard-pressed to find them amongst the ugly escapism of what apparently passes as good taste for the average South African second home owner. Each to their own, of course, but damn, your own is ugly. Over the next few weeks, I’m going to get some snaps together and show you what I mean.

But in the meantime, here’s one that was made earlier.

This is a recently completed holiday home in Suiderstrand, Western Cape. It’s not my taste, but it’s certainly not as bad as some. However, what the building lacks in character and downright horrendous appearance, it makes up for in the name.

Remember in that first paragraph, where I said that people seemingly found the need to let themselves go rather too much? Well, in my humble opinion, this guy has let himself go way too far.

 

Because yes, the owner of this particular property has chosen to name it “Sir Fukalot”:

(Sorry Mum)

When I saw the sign, words failed me and in documenting it here today, words are again failing me.

What do I know? Maybe it’s a big sex advert or something. It can’t be a house name though, can it? Because there are a number of stages that one needs to go through to get a house name plate onto a wall. You have to firstly come up with the name. It’s at this point that I have already failed when it comes to “Sir Fukalot”. I’ve named a website, two kids and a cottage and I think I’ve done ok. And one of the reasons I think I’ve done ok is that none of those four things is called “Sir Fukalot”. Not one.
It’s not something that even crossed my mind when I was considering suitable nomenclature for any of those things. Or anything else, for that matter.

But hey, that’s just the first step. Then you’ve got to get your idea past anyone else who has a stake in the property. And if I had come up with the name “Sir Fukalot” for our holiday home, which I wouldn’t have done anyway, I would then have to tell my wife that I thought that naming our holiday home “Sir Fukalot” was a good idea. I wouldn’t do that, either.

Wife (amazingly) placated and agreeable, you then take your idea to the signmaker. “Hello, Mr Signmaker,” you say. “I’d like you to attach the words “Sir” and “Fukalot” in chromadek to a distressed piece of scaffolding board which I will then have mounted on the outside wall of my holiday home, so that everyone passing will know that the building is henceforth to be known as “Sir Fukalot”?”

To be fair, the signmaker just wants to make some money from the crazy Afrikaner.

And then you have to have the balls to put it up. And to use it in everyday conversation:

“Yes, please deliver the sofa to Sir Fukalot in Suiderstrand.” or
“I’m hoping to leave a bit early on Friday as we’re going to Sir Fukalot for the weekend.” 

Although I presume that having gone through the previous steps, these last two won’t present much of an obstacle.

I shall, as promised, document some unfortunate examples of how not to design and name a second home by the seaside in the near future. There may already be a tumblr account set aside for exactly that purpose.
And as I mentioned, there will be plenty of places which are architecturally worse than this one.  But I will struggle to beat “Sir Fukalot”  for sheer brass neck when naming one’s seaside design disaster.

Just found…

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iWeathar.co.za – comprehensive weather information from around South Africa, beautifully presented and easy to use. Are you watching SA Weather Service?

I’m down in Cape Agulhas this weekend. You can see whether I’m having a hot or wet time of it by clicking through to view the latest conditions in nearby Struisbaai.

For other locations around SA (and there are LOTS) click here.