Cape Town parties as Anele moves on…

CAPE TOWN: People partied in the streets of the Mother City until the early hours of this morning as news broke that DJ Anele Mdoda was to move from 5FM back to Highveld Stereo, following the ever-popular Sasha Martinengo out of the national broadcaster. Anele will be joining other hilarious celebrity presenters at Highveld such as the hilarious Darren “Whackhead” Simpson, best known for his hilarious phonecall pranks from the 1980’s.

Mdoda, three-quarters of the depressingly poor Grant and Anele afternoon show, acknowledged the announcement made by Highveld on twitter yesterday evening, prompting spontaneous celebrations as the news spread across the Western Cape.
Residents of Gauteng and surrounds were less happy as they moved from frying pan to fire: Anele’s new show will see her being more accessible to Johannesburg residents, but that was something that apparently left Capetonian reveller Tyrone Athlone unmoved:

I don’t care about them. Four years we’ve suffered. Four! But now, she’s out of our hair and off our airwaves. With the Gauteng e-toll reductions announced yesterday, we will be subsidising their roads. Well let me tell you, it’s already payback time. Revenge is a dish best served right now, Joburg.
See what you’ll have to listen to now as you pay your poxy 30 cents a kilometre. Karma is a bitch, hey?

Another drunken roisterer commented:

I haven’t partied this hard since we won the World Cup in 2007. Everything seemed to start going wrong in 2008 when Grant and Anele started on 5FM. You only have to look at how Bafana have been so poor and how the Boks didn’t win again in 2011. All that can change now. This is fantastic news for South Africa. Bring on April!

As 5FM announced that there would be a big announcement, probably announcing the announcement of an announcement, on March 1st, speculation was already rife as to the potential fate of Anele’s partner, Grant Nash.

There’s no way he can carry that show on his own. Have you seen him? I don’t think he could carry anything. He still has a Nokia 8210 because it’s the lightest phone he can find. He’s the perfect advertisement for a vegan lifestyle.

remarked another delighted radio listener, while tucking into a Heart Stopper™ Triple Stack Burger with Double Macon and Fried Egg at Mo’s Fast Food Caravan just off Long Street, his comments almost drowned out by the celebratory pealing of bells from surrounding churches.

A completely ficticious source at 5FM said:

Yes, we’ve lost Anele to Highveld – and that’s a bit of a coup for Primedia. Of course, we’re already looking into replacements. We don’t want to change things too much and it’s too early to say anything just yet, but the current forerunners to take over the afternoon show are a brick and a chunk of braaiwood. We just have to be careful not to lose the afternoon audience with a sudden hike in intellectual content.
We’re disappointed, obviously. If Anele had come to us and said that she wanted more time for lunch, we could have shifted our schedules accordingly. But they’re a privately-funded radio station and apparently they have a really great buffet there for the drivetime crew. We simply can’t compete with that at the SABC.

Primedia Broadcasting’s share price fell sharply this morning, though analysts were unable to tie this directly to the Mdoda announcement as many of them were still nursing hangovers from the last night’s celebrations.

Malema: the future of SA

Of all the things that will come with a Jacob Zuma presidency, perhaps none is quite so scary as the prospect of ANCYL Leader Julius Malema holding any position of authority.
While I am not a fan of the constant ZumaRumas™ which are regularly circulated by antagonistic, hysterical whities with racist agendas*, the thought of Malema being allowed near anything or anyone important fills me with dread.
The mechanic that serviced my car last week looked a bit like him and now my air-con has packed up. I recognise this is no reflection on Mr Malema himself per se, but it just seemed horribly appropriate and thus I felt I should include it here. 

I am also not a fan of radio stations doing prank phone calls. For me, just because someone is (in)famous, doesn’t mean that one should be able to ring them up out of the blue, imitating some other person, confuse and embarrass them and then broadcast it for all to hear. However, I’m going to make an exception here, as “Whackhead” from Highveld 94.7 in Jo’burg calls Julius Malema (via his PA) and “chats” to him.
While pretending to be Barack Obama.

Listen and weep:


For me, the scariest bit is that Malema fails to actually say anything.
Is he overawed? Is he confused? Does he even know who Mr Obama is? 
Can Julius Malema get out anything more than mumbled, one word answers while talking to the most powerful man on the planet?

No, he can’t!

I know it’s not a fair situation to judge someone on, but please, for the love of all that is holy, couldn’t he have embarrassed himself by at least chatting to “Mr Obama”, perhaps congratulating him on his election victory, hypocritically spending $150 million on a big party, maybe talking about his visions for Africa – ANYTHING!
Just not “yebo” and “ugh”. Those are not the words of a competent politician.
But those are the words of Julius Malema.

* As Thabo Mbeki (remember him?) said last week, “It seems to me that the unacceptable practice of propagation of deliberate falsehoods to attain various objectives is becoming entrenched in our country.”