The Bends

…continuing from the adventures of yesterday’s post.

No, not the 1995 Radiohead album (although now I’ve thought about it, I’m going to have to have a listen to that), nor the divers’ nightmare of decompression sickness (which I’m still not going to try, despite mentioning it).
No. More specifically this bit of the R61 in the Eastern Cape.

Just south of the last infamous Lusikisiki speedbump is this Superspar billboard:

R61 - Google Maps - Google Chrome 2015-07-14 094852 AM.bmpYes, that’s a screenshot from Google maps. And yes, I should have stopped and taken a photo myself, but I was traumatised from 4 hours of Eastern Cape driving and I needed to get to a beer.

The sign says:

Only 133 bends to go

presumably until you reach their store (we never did).

133 bends? You might think they’re joking, but then you hit this ±20km section of unstraightitude (and that’s a bend every ±150m):

Lusikisiki - Google Maps - Google Chrome 2015-07-14 090736 AM.bmpTwixt the rolling hills of the southern Transkei, it ducks in and out of numerous valleys before heading down to the mighty Mzimbuvu River. And yes, it is ever so bendy. You might think that it looks rather fun, but given the situation I was in when heading down here (several hours in and needing that beer), it was actually rather tiresome.
It was also filled with potholes, damaged armco, broken glass and loose gravel.
Which was nice.

Thankfully, I wasn’t driving my car.

Quite what Superspar think they are doing by quantifying and glorifying this horrendous stretch of (partial) tarmac – let alone linking their brand to it – is quite beyond me. As I mentioned earlier, despite going through the 133 motions as instructed, we never did find their store. Given the mood I was in after all that driving, that was probably good news for their continued trading.

The Lusikisiki Speedbump Conundrum

A couple of weeks ago, I had the pleasure of driving through some of the Eastern Cape: specifically the region formerly known as the Transkei. It was an eye opener of note – the roads crowded with children, goats, dogs, donkeys and potholes. Most of the journey was through the unique rural landscape, but we also travelled through the towns of Bizana, Flagstaff and Lusiksiki. The former two were busy, bustling and dirty; the latter – a hilltop settlement developed from a military camp established in 1894 – was more notable for its huge number of apparently unnecessary road calming measures.

No driver particularly likes speedbumps, but I think that the majority of us can understand the need for them in certain places: near schools, pedestrian areas etc. What I didn’t quite understand was the need for 79 (seventy-nine) of them (and 31 rumble strips) on the R61, in and around Lusikisiki. The majority (though not all, as keen mathematicians will note) of the speedbumps were arranged in groups of 6, perhaps 50 cm apart. Having watched minibus taxis repeatedly slowing to a near standstill to traverse these devilish sets, I can attest to the fact that they are a particularly effective way of slowing vehicular traffic down.

But, as I mentioned, slowing it down for no apparent reason whatsoever. Even when you leave the town and are heading back out onto the roads snaking south towards Port St Johns – the speed limit back up to 80kph, there’s yet another lot – in the middle of nowhere. It was almost as if they’d been put there for the sake of putting them there – or because someone needed to be paid for something tangible. Look, I’m not suggesting that the local municipality is in any way corrupt, but it’s kind of tough to work out what other reason there could be for so much utterly pointless work being done when the whole area is so severely impoverished.

Hmm.

I was reminded of this anecdote:

Some years ago the mayor of a small rural town in the Eastern Cape visited his friend, the mayor of a similar town in Zimbabwe.
When he saw the palatial mansion belonging to the Zimbabwean mayor, he wondered aloud how on earth he could afford such a house.
The Zimbabwean replied: “You see that bridge over there? The government gave us a grant to construct a two-lane bridge, but by building a single lane bridge with traffic lights at either end, I could build this place.”
The following year the Zimbabwean mayor visited the Eastern Cape town. He was simply amazed at the Eastern Cape mayor’s house: gold taps, marble floors, diamond doorknobs; it was marvellous.
When he asked how he’d raised the money to build this incredible house, the Eastern Cape mayor said: “You see that bridge over there?”
The Zimbabwean replied: “No.”

Indeed. There’s no new bridge in Lusikisiki, but there are speedbumps for Africa… and beyond.

Bugs in the news

Again. Bugs are always in the news, but this weekend provided lots of newsworthy microbiology. Primarily agricultural stuff, but still with at least some (or more) human interest. It’s obviously part of my job to make you realise just how important and relevant microbiology is, so here’s a quick snapshot of what we got served this week.

Bird Flu in Lancashire. Yep. H7N7 in Goosnargh, which coincidentally sounds like a description of the noise a gander might make just before succumbing to the virus. There’s a a 10km surveillance zone and a 3km inner protection zone around the farm in question, and anything poultry-related in that first 28.27km² is being killed. H7N7 is one of the avian flu viruses that can also infect humans (and pigs, seals and horses), so it’s worth keeping under control for more than just the sake of the local chickens.

No Chicken Love in USA. If you want to head away from Virusville, try going down the bacterial route, because Bird Flu isn’t in the only thing that you can get from your chicken: Salmonella can be a proper bastard, too. I contracted Salmonella enteritidis PT4 from a dodgy chicken dish in a dodgy Italian restaurant in a dodgy street in Oxford in the late 90s and I can still remember how sick I was. The main symptoms were sweating, shaking, swearing and farting. Thus, it was a thoroughly unpleasant time for all involved. But all I did was eat some chicken – imagine how much more likely you are to get the bug if you… you…  kiss… your chicken.

In interviews, ill people answered questions about contact with animals and foods consumed during the week before becoming ill; 82 (86%) of the 95 ill people interviewed reported contact with live poultry (e.g., chicks, chickens, ducks, ducklings) before becoming ill. Sixty-four ill people who had purchase records available reported purchasing live baby poultry from 17 different feed supply stores and hatcheries in multiple states. Ill people reported purchasing live poultry for backyard flocks to produce eggs or meat, or to keep as pets. Many ill people in these outbreaks reported bringing the live poultry into their homes, and others reported kissing or cuddling with the live poultry. These behaviors increase a person’s risk of a Salmonella infection.

The states worst affected are Alabama, Mississippi and Virginia. I’m saying no more.

Bee Flu in Cape Town. Not strictly Bee Flu, but American Foulbrood Disease, caused by the spores of Paenibacillus larvae ssp. larvae. It’s nasty, and it’s killing thousands of bees in the Western Cape. The good news is that you and I can’t get it (although I wouldn’t advise cuddling or kissing any bees). The bad news is that if it doesn’t get sorted soon, then not only will local honey prices rise (oh no!), but the local fruit industry might collapse:

“As much as we can import honey cheaper from other countries, we cannot import the pollination service done by bees. If not controlled, the disease would also affect the fruit industry, which contributes a lot to the South African economy, and put food security at risk.”

Paenibacillus larvae is related to the bug that causes Anthrax, and their spores can survive for decades unless you kill them with fire. So that’s literally what you have to do with your infected hives and equipment. Not ideal for the longevity and continuation of your bee-keeping business.

Dog Foot Popcorn Odour Mystery Solved. Do you sniff your dog’s feet? For me, that’s right up there with cuddling and kissing your chicken. But there are, apparently, some individuals out there who do this and then – after a brief paws – report back that the feet in question smell “like popcorn”.

Why do dogs’ paws smell like popcorn? Because bacteria, obviously:

Dog feet are a great place for bacteria and yeast to take up residence because there’s a lot of moisture and little to no air circulation in the folds and pockets of skin between the toes and foot pads. Bacteria flock there and reproduce with exuberance. All these microorganisms emit their own distinct odors (they’re what give us BO), and the popcorn/corn chip smell on some dogs’ feet could be due to yeast or Proteus bacteria. Both are known for their sweet, corn tortilla–like smell. Or it could be Pseudomonas bacteria, which smell a little fruitier—but pretty close to popcorn to most noses.

Having years of laboratory experience, I can safely say that yeast smells like bread, not popcorn (I love the smell of freshly grown yeast on a plate) (just try not to think of where it came from). Pseudomonas spp. smell sweet and pleasant (but not of popcorn), and Proteus is a mix of fish (not good fish) and vinegar. Thus, I’m struggling to get the popcorn reference here. But equally, I’m not going to go down the road of smelling Colin’s dirty feet (or anything else) in the name of science.

Just back…

…from the Isle of Man.

Not me, sadly, but Nat Geo travel books editor Larry Porges, who said numerous nice things about my favourite island:

Biggest selling point: It’s fourfold.

1) The beautiful scenery—rich green hills peppered with bright yellow gorse, dramatic cliffside vistas, thatched-roof villages, tumbling waterfalls, and the 2,000-foot Snaefell mountain overlooking it all.
2) Unusual wildlife, including tailless Manx cats, four-horned Loaghtan sheep, and a small population of feral wallabies in the north.
3) Sincerely friendly residents. I was only on the island four days and have been in touch, via email, with six different people since my return.
4) A storied history and heritage. Three highlights: remnants of medieval Viking castles, 1,000-year-old Tynwald Hill (site of the oldest continuous parliament in the world), and a charming Victorian-era narrow-gauge steam railway that chugs around the island’s south.

Homesickness.

isle-of-man-aerial-590-590x413

More homesickness (despite the fact my family was once escorted off those very same fields by a maniacal farmer with a shotgun).

You can read the rest of his review here.