Apartments for dwarves

Following the Air France crash over (or rather ‘into’) the Atlantic Ocean a couple of weeks ago, a further incident involving an Airbus A330 has been reported – this time en route from Hong Kong to Perth.

Perth, Australia – A Qantas plane hit turbulence and suddenly lost altitude over Malaysia, throwing terrified passengers around the cabin and leaving seven people injured, the airline said on Monday.
The Airbus A330 with 219 passengers and crew aboard was flying from Hong Kong to the Australian west coast city of Perth overnight when it struck “severe turbulence” over Malaysian Borneo, Qantas said in a statement.

Passengers later described the panic and confusion in the darkened cabin as passengers not wearing seat belts were hurled from their seats.

“It appeared like we’d just dropped out of a 30-storey building,” uninjured passenger Keith Huxtable said. “It was dark … people screamed.”

Passenger Michelle Knight, also not hurt, said the crew told her the plane had plunged 30 metres.

Six passengers and a crew member were treated on board for minor injuries, Qantas corporate affairs manager David Epstein said. The captain reported minor damage inside the cabin, Epstein told Fairfax Radio.

Now, I sincerely hope that I am never involved in an incident such as this, but if I ever am, I would hope to get my thoughts together before speaking to the media once I’m back on terra firma. Because otherwise, I might say something silly.

Take Keith Huxtable, for example. Measurements alone are not enough for him to describe the bumpy ride. No. Keith has to illustrate the distances involved using tangible objects, so we can better appreciate the terror. But he does it very carefully to make it seem a whole lot worse than it actually was.
See how he says it was “like we’d just dropped out of a 30-storey building”? Well, maybe it was – but not from the 30th floor.

Sadly for Keith, the media also chatted to other passengers on board the aircraft and it’s blown his story wide open. 30 metres is about 10 storeys.  Either that or Keith builds apartment blocks for dwarves. Or maybe the bit of the plane that Keith was in fell three times further than all the other bits of the plane. Although that seems unlikely.

Either way – given that there will inevitably be a full-scale enquiry into any aircraft related incident, I think it’s best not to exaggerate, since the truth will out.

Father’s Grey

As it is a rather grey Father’s Day here in Cape Town and I’m full of cold, I have spent most of the day inside watching the T20 final, reading my new Jeremy Clarkson book (sorry Mum) and listening to Placebo and Kasabian’s latest offerings. I’m never sure about albums with completely ridiculous titles, but despite its name, West Ryder Pauper Lunatic Asylum is absolutely superb. Underdog is still my favourite track, which many of you will have unknowingly heard on the Kaka Sony Bravia ad which features the world’s largest zoetrope.

I think it’s a great ad and I’m not just saying that so that Sony read this and send me a free 42″ Bravia for my living room. I’ve still got the last one that they gave me and that’s working fine, thank you very much. So I’ll take the cash alternative this time, please.

Incidentally, Mr Kaka – who will be playing for Brazil against Italy just up the road in Pretoria this evening – learnt most of those fancy footballing tricks he shows off in that ad from me. Not many people know that I have taken many of the world’s top footballers under my wing at some point in their careers in order to let them learn from the best. Those who regularly play football with me will appreciate that I (very modestly) take great care to hide my silky skills so as not to outshine those around me.

And now, with the Sri Lankan innings coming to a close (although some would argue it was pretty much closed in the first two overs), I will return to my seat in front of the fire with my pipe and slippers and fulfill that traditional father stereotype.

One final thing – it is the summer solstice in the Northern hemisphere today, which means that today is the shortest day for us down below the equator. Summer is on its way*!

* ever so gradually.

Pinotage is nie my baas

Pinotage isn’t my boss…

3074430899_e9b29dc4b9

…but when it talks, I listen.

Taken at Beyerskloof, November 2008. Their 2004 Pinotage Reserve is probably my favourite SA wine, despite spirited competition from Diemersfontein‘s Pinotage range. However, I think it’s fair to say that I am applying myself to the task of searching for new contenders on a daily (sometimes hourly) basis.

It’s hard work, but someone (me) has got to do it.

Village population set to rise

Just a quickie – some fantastic news has just come in from the pretty seaside village of Port Elizabeth, population 18 (+3 goats) that Ironman Pammie Jane is up the duff, in the club, renting out the guest room and has a metaphorical bun in the oven. All at once.

Yes, despite my desperate attempts to put her off parenthood, mainly by truthfully describing my experiences of er… parenthood, Mr and Mrs Ordinary Life have embarked on a journey which was once described to us as “completely life-changing”. Oh yes. That one falls neatly into the category of “a bit of an understatement”.

Never mind, eh? Many congratulations from all here chez 6000.

Have a drink on us. (Oh no – you can’t now, can you?)