Wembley again

Big day today, as my beloved Red and White Wizards head down to Wembley Stadium for the FA Cup semi-final against Hull City. My Dad and brother will be there and I’ll try (as before) to guide them safely in. I’ve seen United in 3 FA Cup semi-finals, all of them with us in a far better situation than our current League One position. In fact, if we win today, we’ll the first club in over a century to get to the final while playing in the “third tier”.
However, our record in those semi finals is “less than great”, sitting at 0-3.

Not for want of trying though. Who could forget this amazing moment from our 0-1 defeat to Arsenal at Old Trafford in 2003?

That’s how close we were. I was sitting (obviously, I wasn’t actually “sitting” at this point, but the point still stands (pun intended)) looking right along the goalline and I still cannot explain how Seaman kept that out.

But that was then and this is now. Sadly, our recent record in Wembley games is equally poor. The omens, they are not good, but I do like this sentiment from our manager:

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Because given our circumstances and the teams we have had to play (and beat) to get to this point, we should already be proud of what we’ve achieved, but what’s the point of resting on our laurels now? It’s been the way for a while in this cup run that any step further would be something amazing. So why not go for one more?

33,000 Blades fans will be there to cheer them on:

Retail Sales Manager Lisa Crossland said:
“As quick as new merchandise is coming in, it is selling. This morning alone (Tuesday) we have sold more than 800 T-shirts, 600 flags, 300 car flags, 250 foam Wembley hands.”

I’ve long since given up on trying to predict the outcomes of Sheffield United games, save to predict them as being generally unpredictable. In getting this far, the team has already proven that we have the ability, we have the belief. Now we just have to go out and put it all into practice this afternoon.

Hold thumbs.

On form

This makes me happy:

formtab

Look at that. Just look at it!

Six wins out of six and not a single goal conceded. In fact, last night’s home win against the MIGHTY Peterborough United took the winning run to eight, if you include the FA Cup wins against Fulham and Nottingham Forest.
I’m really not sure what has changed, but something has and suddenly, we’re feeling as invincible as an unlit cyclist on Ou Kaapse Weg at dusk.

Sadly (much like an unlit cyclist on Ou Kaapse Weg at dusk), this is merely a feeling – there is no actual invincibility: because of our poor start to the season, we’re still worryingly vulnerable and things could still go horribly wrong.

But the feeling is good. It reminds me of the feeling back in 2003, when we did really well in the league and both cup competitions and then won absolutely nothing.

On Ukraine

This was on The Daily Mash website about a week ago, and it was funny – very funny – then. But now, seven days on, it seems worryingly prophetic. It’s still making me laugh though.

CONTAINS SOME NAUGHTY WORDS

THE parallels with the First World War are totally doing a historian’s head in, it has been confirmed.

Julian Cook, professor of early 20th Century history at Roehampton University, has admitted he dreads reading the newspapers because ‘it is just one massive headfuck after another’.

He said: “It’s got to the stage where my wife won’t let me speak. All I’m allowed to do is point at the front page of the Guardian while looking at her with an expression of sheer horror.

“We have a strongly nationalistic, strategically significant eastern European country deciding its fate, while three empires stand waiting in the wings, rattling their sabres. It is freaking me the fuck out.”

He added: “I talk to my historian pals and they’re like, ‘no way, that’s totally what I was thinking’. And then we all shout ‘powder keg’ in unison and have a bit of a giggle.

“It relieves the tension, but seriously, we’re all terrified.”

Professor Cook said the fact it was also the 100th anniversary of the First World War was ‘spooky’.

“Honestly, you want to try being a historian at the moment. Mental.”

If WWIII does break out, we’ll be the last place on earth to know, thanks to the intriguing third test against Australia and the murder trial of some athlete or other dominating the local news.

If this bar bill was real…

…it might be the best bar bill ever.

Here’s the story:

Paavo Arhinmäki (Left Alliance), Finland’s Minister of Culture and Sport, has apologised for his conduct in Sochi on Saturday, conceding to reporters at the Helsinki Airport on Monday that the evening had got out of hand.

“Naturally, ministers should be able to control their partying in order to prevent it from going so far. It went too far,” he admitted when asked whether Saturday’s events were fitting for a minister. I haven’t passed out before. I use alcohol with moderation, but this time the party got out of hand,” emphasised Arhinmäki.

In addition, the minister reminded that the party was a private function with members of the Finnish ice hockey team. “Of course, it’s part of my official duties to also take part in such parties,” he added.

And here’s a cleverly-made mock up of the bill. It’s very amusing.

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My favourite item has to be:

1 Sircus Midget With Hula Hoops

But wow, that’s pricey for a small person. You can get a couple of Blonde Excort ladies for less than that (see a couple of lines above) (although Whipped Cream is extra) (obviously).

To be fair, if it wasn’t for sending out for the Karjala, it would have been a more than reasonable evening to celebrate the Finnish ice hockey bronze medal.