If this bar bill was real…

…it might be the best bar bill ever.

Here’s the story:

Paavo Arhinmäki (Left Alliance), Finland’s Minister of Culture and Sport, has apologised for his conduct in Sochi on Saturday, conceding to reporters at the Helsinki Airport on Monday that the evening had got out of hand.

“Naturally, ministers should be able to control their partying in order to prevent it from going so far. It went too far,” he admitted when asked whether Saturday’s events were fitting for a minister. I haven’t passed out before. I use alcohol with moderation, but this time the party got out of hand,” emphasised Arhinmäki.

In addition, the minister reminded that the party was a private function with members of the Finnish ice hockey team. “Of course, it’s part of my official duties to also take part in such parties,” he added.

And here’s a cleverly-made mock up of the bill. It’s very amusing.

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My favourite item has to be:

1 Sircus Midget With Hula Hoops

But wow, that’s pricey for a small person. You can get a couple of Blonde Excort ladies for less than that (see a couple of lines above) (although Whipped Cream is extra) (obviously).

To be fair, if it wasn’t for sending out for the Karjala, it would have been a more than reasonable evening to celebrate the Finnish ice hockey bronze medal.

A quota post (with a quota photo of a quota post and link to a post about a post about a post about a quota photo and a quota photo) and another quota photo

This is getting silly now. Search engines won’t like a title this long (I’ll save you the time: 156 characters).
And my brain hurts.
And do I need an Oxford comma in there… somewhere? I think I probably do.

But anyway, here’s the photo:

DSC_1108

And here’s the link.

Once again, there shouldn’t be any need to feel remorse for posting quota photos or quota posts. Especially if they feature an Imperial Stormtrooper. It’s not as if (as a blogger) your readers are paying for content. That’s not to say that if the time and the impetus are present, you shouldn’t be churning out good quality posts either. It’s just that real life regularly gets in the way of time and impetus being present.

Those of you who read to the end of the title and could be bothered to decipher it, will have realised that a further quota photo is required. Here it is, appropriately thinned down, Micklethwait-style.

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And here’s the original.

Brian, if you’re reading, shall we leave it here? 🙂

Sugar, Sugar…

Sugar
[De de der dum dum dum]
Ah, Honey Honey
You are my Candy Girl DEATH SENTENCE!
And you got me wanting you.

So sang The Archies back in 1969, and here’s the proof:

I’m not sure just how socially acceptable it is to call anyone “Sugar” nowadays. You’d probably be pounced on by all sorts of PC types for all sorts of things. But they may have a point. While “Sugar” used to be entirely reasonable to use as a term of endearment or a even as a compliment, suggesting femininity and sweetness, these days, SUGAR IS EVIL.

I know this because Rogue “Scientist” Timothy Noakes says so:

“Once you tip over the precipice, you’re gone,” exercise science professor Noakes told Men’s Health magazine.
“You are going to die of diabetes. And if you want that, keep eating sugars and carbohydrates, and get fat. That’s where you are going.”

And if you don’t want that, surprisingly, you can buy his book.
Even allowing for the hyperbole and pisspoor journalism which characterises popular health magazines, “You are going to die of diabetes” is a pretty bold statement. Even for a scientist who famously and bravely admitted, “I’ve made a mistake” on carbohydrates.

Actually Tim, your academic record suggests that you repeatedly “made mistakes” from 1976 until 2012; “mistakes” which were peer-reviewed and published. But now you’ve seen the light and we should believe everything you say, because… you… say so. Who’s to say that in 35 years (assuming we’re not all dead from diabetes or heart disease or cancer or alien invasion), you have another book to sell and suddenly realise that you’ve “made a mistake”?
And before you go telling me about all the positive scientific evidence for LCHF, I’d just like to say that there’s a wealth of other scientific papers out there telling us quite the opposite, many of them with Tim’s name at the top.
I’m not saying that he can’t change his mind – of course he can change his mind – I’m just saying that I’m not sure I would trust anyone who had been repeatedly incorrect for 35 years before changing his mind.

Anyway, all this preamble is really just so I can pop this here:

DSC_0340-1

…which I thought was super amusing and is clear evidence that – given the huge number of slang terms and nicknames for illicit drugs – you can demonise any household food product. Why, only the other day, I was tempted by some… [lowers voice, looks around furtively] …”cheese”.

It turns out that that was actually cheese though.
Which should at least make Tim happy.

A different kind of transplant

When all else fails, (and make no mistake, all else is failing), comes the time to think outside the box. Some might argue that the time to think outside the box should come before all else fails, and they are probably correct in that, but that’s another argument.

We are slowly, surely, insidiously returning to a pre-antibiotic age. The antibiotics that we have are becoming less and less effective against common infections and consequently, those common infections are starting to kill us again. One such infection is Clostidium difficile (so “difficile” in fact, that we microbiologists even disagree on how to pronounce it, so it’s “C.diff” to its friends) – a gastrointestinal bug that gives you horrendous – and now incurable – diarrhoea. This bug kills 14,000 Americans each year, and lengthens the hospital stays of hundreds of thousands of others.

But while supportive therapy might help treat the symptoms, with no antibiotics available to treat the cause, we stay losing.
Until now:

…researchers have discovered an alternative: A donor’s stool can be transplanted in the intestine or colon of a sick patient via an enema,colonoscopy or nasogastric tube. The healthy bacteria fight off C. diff and re-establish a normal community in the gut.

Yep. Poo transplants. Regular (Lolz) readers may recall that we’ve had a quick look at this before, and then yesterday evening, this NYT article arrived from a medically qualified friend on Facebook, complete with smiley face attached.

It’s all about the world’s first “Stool Bank” and it’s beautifully written:

Around noon on a recent Friday, Donor Five, a healthy 31-year-old, walked across M.I.T.’s frigid, wind-swept campus to a third-floor restroom to make a contribution to public health.

Less than two hours later, a technician blended the donor’s stool into preparations that looked like chocolate milk. The material was separated and stored in freezers at an M.I.T. microbiology lab, awaiting shipment to hospitals around the country. Each container was carefully labeled: Fecal Microbiota Preparation.

There are issues though. The FDA are struggling to provide any sort of clarity on licensing of the treatment, meaning that donor poo can’t be sold for profit at the moment. And we know that large pharmaceutical companies are (understandably) reluctant to follow up on these things if there’s no money in them (another argument again).
Until the regulations are established, the research and the treatment can’t gain traction, but that’s not the biggest problem here. Because while there’s no traction in the research and treatment, people are taking matters into their own… er… hands: there exists the danger of an unregulated, unsafe Black… [shurely “Brown”? – Ed.] Market:

“People are doing fecal transplants in their basements and may not be doing any of the right screening or sterile preparation. We need an intermediate solution until there are commercial products on the market.”

What you get up to in your basement is entirely your business. Literally, it would seem in this case. But, even with my limited medical expertise, I would strongly advise against homemade faecal transplants.

Rather get a qualified doctor to fill your colon with someone else’s (screened) poo, should the need arise.