Weather confusion

I’m seeing a lot of social media posts from local (SA) people who have chosen to head to Blighty for a Christmas or New Year break. And in so many of them, the caption is something along the lines of:

A quick shot of us all before the rain started again…

or:

It’s another grey day in London…

Oh. I’m sorry. What exactly were you expecting from the UK in the middle of winter? Sydney Opera House perhaps? The Hanging Gardens of Babylon? Herds of wildebeest sweeping majestically across the plain?

This is, after all, a country which you regularly ridicule for ‘not having a summer’, and yet you’re irritated by the fact that it does winter things in winter? Weirdos.

Can I suggest that if you were looking for something warmer and drier, you used your Rands to go somewhere… well… warmer and drier?

More sunshine, but probably less Buckingham Palace.

Honestly though, moaning about the inclement UK weather in early January just makes you look daft. Rather head over there when the weather is better.

I think they have that planned for 2pm on July 23rd this year. But do check nearer the time.

Bit of a moan – Pt.1

Part 2 may follow tomorrow. It may not.

But I’m fully aware that this is a moan. It even says so in the title. I’m not expecting anything to happen about this moan, although it would be nice (and really weird) if anything did.
Sometimes you just need to have a bit of a moan. Get things off your chest. This is one of those times.

Tourism. The lifeblood of the summer economy in Cape Town. Love them or hate them, tourists are plentiful and vital to keeping this country going.
This isn’t the first time I have lived in a tourist heavy city. I was in Oxford for almost a decade and that gets ridiculous numbers thanks to its proximity to London (and the whole of Europe). It’s also about 30 times smaller than Cape Town, so things can get very chaotic very quickly there.

Locally, comparative statistics are a bit difficult to gauge at the moment given the effects of the recent pandemic, but it does seem like the numbers of visitors this year will break all the previous records for people arriving to enjoy all that the Mother City has to offer.

I absolutely recognise the need for tourism as a valuable contributor to our economy.
But that doesn’t mean that I have to like it.

Still, as with any touristy place, if you avoid the touristy areas, you can avoid the tourists.

Just about…

There are two particular tourist “attractions” here that are seemingly unavoidable, incredibly intrusive and make life all a bit crap for the local residents.

The first is the Red Bus. Yep. I know you get them everywhere and they are a lot of fun. I’ve even done a couple of tours with the kids myself. But wow. Things have exploded recently. I mean, not literally, but…
Our roads are made for getting people from one place to another. When those roads are populated by any number of big red buses going around their two routes – here’s a shot from their “live bus tracker”:

Ah Jesus…

And of course they are deliberately driving at 20kph to give the visitors a nice leisurely view of the city and surrounds: on our suburban roads with 60 or 80kph limits. It causes a lot of congestion and a lot of frustration. Hugely disproportionate to the number of tourists actually using the service.

But that’s really nothing compared to the helicopter tours. Sure, they don’t cause traffic jams or delays, but could there be a more invasive, less eco-friendly way to annoy the local population? When the weather is good, there are no fires and the tourist season is on, we can get one every few minutes, coming over our back garden at (at best) a couple of hundred metres.

I’m not sure at what point the repeated noise, irritation, disturbance and greenhouse gas emissions:

would constitute a “hazard” as in (2)(a) there per se, but wow, if you not only want to have a look at the mountain, but also piss off everyone in the Southern Suburbs while you’re at it, then a helicopter flight is absolutely the way to do it.

Ironically, there’s one going over the house right now as I type, but then, that’s not very unusual.

There is even the double whammy, whereby you can book both these excursions on one single site.
A veritable synergy of local infuriation, at a discount price.
Who wouldn’t go for it?
No, I’m not providing a link.

So. Moan over. Did it turn into more of a rant? Does it even matter? Will it make any difference?

I’m off for a nap. If I can keep the noise out.

Getaway

We’re out of town for a few days (beaglesitter services have been engaged), and while I love the urban environment, I’m very much looking forward to being surrounded by nature, and there’s one thing I really, really won’t miss.

Leaf Blowers.

And – in case you needed to be told – they’re actually absolutely terrible in every way shape and form:

There are many reasons to hate leaf blowers. They are loud and their sole purpose is to over-manicure nature. They disperse debris rather than gathering it, and they kick dust and small particles up into the air.

The world is not worse off if the leaves are left unblown.

The article goes on to lament the additional inefficiencies and detrimental effects of the two-stroke petrol engine. To be fair, our local daily blower is electric, but every morning it’s still right there in your ears for an hour, being annoying and useless, forcing people into poetry:

Leaf Blower

Leaf Blower
Scourge of the suburbs
Nosily moving the street detritus from your bit.
To my bit.
Briefly. For Nature will put it all back again
.

Just now.

No leaf blowing where we’re going. Well, just natural stuff.

I have been assured that there is wifi, so I’m sure I’ll be in touch again tomorrow.

Until then…

It was supposed to be so easy

So goes the song by The Streets, in which our protagonist (it’s Mike Skinner from The Streets) has a simple few tasks to get through one day, but then, much to his dismay, each one goes awry.
And yes, I had a whole list of jobs ahead of taking my daughter horse-riding, ahead of the end of year football dinner this evening, but there was time.

Until things went a little bit wrong. Sudden unexpected washing and ironing. Some packing and shopping (we’re going away tomorrow, but more on that then) and a driving lesson and a trip to the pharmacy and and and…

Probably most worrying of all, the beer supplies for tomorrow’s trip, supposedly being delivered by Pick n Pay’s ASAP service appears to have been taken away by their AWOL service. I have been assured that it will arrive before 3pm. Earlier, they seemed pretty certain that it would arrive by 12pm.
I’d cancel the order, but they’ve very much removed the money from my account already.

It’s fine, I need the extra anxiety.

I’ve done all that I can do now. Camera gear and clothing is packed. The horse-riding is approaching rapidly, and from there it’s a rush back here, a dive through the shower, and an Uber to town for the footy festivities.

And a release from a rather stressful day.

Damn those Imperialist forces!

Just in from serial government clown Fuckile Mballoona [sp.], the Secretary General of the ruling ANC party here in South Africa, this:

He’s been spouting this sort of nonsense for many years now.

And I mean, you never rule anything out in the politics of this country, because it’s like one constant Bob Mortimer story on Would I Lie To You?. It regularly seems completely fanciful and utterly unbelievable, and then it turns out to be absolutely true.

But this one? No.

Come now. The only imperialist and neocolonialist forces with any influence in the upcoming elections are the Russians and the Chinese, and they’re both right behind the ANC. But they’re got their work cut out, given that the actual voting public are fed up with the lack of service delivery, the loadshedding, the rising crime, the cadre deployment, the constant corruption, the dysfunctional state owned enterprises, the poorly-controlled inflation, the plummeting Rand, and the tossers in charge.

Could any (or all) of those be the reasons that the ANC has been singled out as a party that must lose power?

Well, it’s either that or it’s the CIA.

And I know where my money lies on this one.