One ocean and over a thousand kilometres of coastline

That’s what our erstwhile absolutely [redacted] useless Minister of Transport has apparently found and added to the nations seaboard.

I mean, it’s pretty well known that the Atlantic and Indian Oceans meet at Cape Agulhas, the former continuing right up to Europe and across to the Americas, the latter heading east to… well… India and across to Australia. That’s just two oceans though, and the name is well represented in SA, from wine to aquariums to marathons. Because there isn’t a third ocean around South Africa.
Google “three oceans” and your only real hit is a company in Hull UK, whose claim to fame appears to be making corrugated cardboard from fish waste.

I’ve no idea either.

But hey, maybe he’s talking about the Southern Ocean. Butno: that doesn’t touch South Africa at all. It’s WAY south of even us.

Ocean - Wikipedia

In fact, if you are going to suggest that we are “surrounded” by three oceans, you’re kind of implying that Namibia, Botswana, Zimbabwe and Mozambique make up that third ocean.

Which they don’t. Namibia is mostly sand, Botswana is mostly elephants, Zimbabwe is mostly corrupt politicians and Mozambique is our local Al-Shabab terrorist hangout. Those are land, and don’t represent the constituent parts of an ocean.

But that’s not the only thing he is wrong on: South Africa is big, but it’s not 3,900 kilometers of coastline big:

Now, I don’t expect anyone – even a government minister – to necessarily know that 2,850km figure offhand. But where did 3,900 come from, and why would anyone not check it before putting it on a press release and allowing this meat clown to tweet it?

It smacks of complete ineptitude. Almost like they don’t know what they are doing.
How surprising. /s

And finally, what a brilliant and innovative plan to try to capitalise on the strategic geographical position of South Africa as far as shipping routes are concerned. Just 370 years and a couple of weeks after one Jan van Riebeeck came up with pretty much the same idea. Of course, it turned out that Jan and his organisation weren’t the nicest guys around, and so Fikile and the ANC will be right at home in their company.

Day 125 – Bits of news

After yesterday’s unashamedly lazy post (hey, I was busy with other stuff – see below), let’s have some text on today’s effort, shall we?

The other thing I was busy with was a GooseChase. Basically, a fun*, interactive series of challenges which the teams have to undertake and complete within a given time period. This particular GooseChase is for the Virtual Quiz Groups that got together over lockdown, and while we’re still not allowed to see each other in the flesh or go round each others place and do things, I thought I’d lob one of these together for our entertainment. There is an app, but holey-moley it’s expensive. And expensive in USD – I can’t even work out how much it would be in ZARs.
Anyway, if you thought putting a quiz night together was hard work, wow. You ain’t seen nothing yet. An organisational nightmare.

But if it comes off, it has the potential to actually be quite cool.

What else?

Well, Garmin is half back. I was able to sync a bit overnight and although the interface looks (perhaps understandably) like it’s taken a savage beating and the cuts and bruises haven’t quite subsided yet, it is still breathing – just – and will hopefully continue its recovery. Amazing that it managed to find a ICU bed right now.

Talking of medical stuff, I need to go to a doctor’s office today and I’ve never been less enthusiastic about anything. It’ll be the smallest public space I’ve been to in months, and also probably the longest period of time I will have spent in any indoor public space all year. If you remember my Virus FAQs post, these were two of the things I suggested were best avoided, but sometimes, needs must. So I’m going to put on my Big Boy panties (and my Big Boy mask), take a deep breath (outside) and just do it. I’ll also have my Big Boy sanitiser along with me and won’t hesitate to use it.

Don’t test me.

I have been listening to The Lathums. They’re from Wigan, so the a is hard and harsh, just like all a’s should be (glass, grass, path, bath etc.)

Don’t @ me.

More here.

Finally, some more news on our shit government. This is an image from part of Andrew Mlangeni‘s funeral yesterday.

A true giant of Apartheid resistance, a Rivonia Trialist and an ANC stalwart, it obviously attracted a lot of attention. Hands crossed on the left there is village idiot Fikile Mbalula – currently the Minister for Transport.
Now I have nothing against a decent send off for Mlangeni: he certainly deserves it. But so does every other individual dying at the moment.
So the question is, why are there so many people there? And why are they standing so close to one another? That goes against the regulations for funerals which have been rigorously applied for everyone else.

And then Mbalula turned up on TV this morning saying that the situation “had been exaggerated”. With advance apologies to my reading audience: fuck you, Fikile.
I, like everyone else, can see from the footage that at least two of those regulations above are being ignored and that’s only out of three, given that it’s not nighttime.

Is it any wonder that the lockdown regulations are being so openly and regularly flaunted? The only difference is that there are fines, police brutality and criminal records for the general public. Fikile and his government chums get – at best – a gentle slap on the wrist.

It’s just another example of one rule for them, one for the rest of us.

Right. Rant over. I’m off to mentally prepared for this afternoon’s trip, and to see if I can sort out another couple of GooseChase challenges before lunchtime.

Have a nice day. Wear a mask.




* terms and conditions apply. 

The 2015 Rugby World Cup Winners Will Not Be The 2015 Rugby World Cup Winners Unless South Africa Win The 2015 Rugby World Cup In Which Case South Africa Will Be The 2015 Rugby World Cup Winners

Yes. Seriously.

Racial quotas in South African sport have been a bone of contention as long as I can recall, and I’ve got a South African memory of almost 12 years now. I think it came in when I was denied my rightful place in the South African national football team, simply on the grounds that I was white*.

Many people have many different views on quotas in sport, and expressing them at any chosen volume will still result in absolutely nothing being sorted out any time soon. As a result, I’m not about to try and tackle any of these issues in this blog post, and I would welcome you to not tackle any of them in the comments section below either.
Thanks in advance.

One organisation that has stepped up to the plate in expressing their views on the quota system, specifically in regard to the Springbok squad heading to the Rugby World Cup (RWC) in England later this month is the Vryheidsfront Plus (VF+), an Afrikaans political party here in SA.

They’re not happy with the “political interference” (quota system) in the selection of the SA squad in that:

The Minister of Sport and Recreation is proposing that in future the national and all provincial rugby teams must reflect the national demographics of young men (please see the attached media statement from the Minister). This means that 84% of each rugby team must be black and only 16% of every team will consist of coloured, Indian and white players. This in means in practice that less than 3 positions in every team will be available for minorities.

This is part 1 of a… document thing that they have submitted (for some reason) to the:

British High Commissioner, the British Rugby-Unions and the British Government

You can read the whole thing here. The introduction is in Afrikaans, but as Stellenbosch University have recently discovered, not everyone speaks Afrikaans, so they have in English the actual document writted. (And yes, “die Britse hoë kommissaris” is the Afrikaans for British High Commissioner. Not for any other sort of British Commissioner.)

The VF+ go on to say that:

The political interference in the selection of the national rugby team may mean that South-Africa’s strongest available team will not be competing and/or taking part in the Rugby World-Cup Tournament for 2015.

Those hyphens can like to be theirs, by the way.
Alrighty, so having decided that the Springbok squad which is competing and/or taking part (??) in the RWC isn’t the the strongest that it could be, it naturally follows that:

As a result, the ultimate winner of the tournament may not be able to claim that they are the world champion team as South Africa would have stood a reasonable chance of winning the tournament with a team selected on merit.

Oooohkay. If you say so.

The Rugby Championship - Official SANZAR Site - Google Chrome 2015-08-31 035535 PM.bmp

Ignoring that, the VF+ furthermore add:

It goes without saying that the quota issue itself has a very negative impact on the individual players and the team, and the government interference causes divisions in South African society on a racial basis.

So, you guys over at the British High Commission, the British Rugby-Unions and the British Government need to consider the gravitas of this situation, because:

The political impairment of a potential winner may place the credibility of the whole tournament in jeopardy.

Yeah. It was political interference what did for them. (Although, yes, the Sports Minister is a bit of a twat.)
If it wasn’t for this political interference and the very negative impact on the individual players and the team, this would have been a walk in die bos for the Springboks. The whole tournament is a jeopardy. The whole thing. The only way to grant the competition any sort of legitimacy would be in South Africa won it.
But as the VF+ have already insinuated, that’s not going to happen. It all smacks of a Afrikaner episode of Scooby Doo:

“We would have won it if it wasn’t for you meddling Blacks”

No, but really. Quite what the VF+ expect the British High Commissioner, the British Rugby-Unions and the British Government to do about this alleged political interference and its alleged effect on the Bok squad and the whole Rugby World Cup is rather beyond me. It almost seems like grandstanding in order to make a cheap, ineffectual and meritless political point. But… surely not.

Interestingly, while we’re on the subject (which we are), the Agency for a New Agenda party are also unhappy with Minister Fikile’s quota system. They think it’s not good enough, and instead of writing a document thing, they have taken to the courts:

ANA president Edward Mahlomola Mokhoanatse will be in the North Gauteng High Court seeking an urgent order to compel Saru and sports department officials to surrender their passports so they cannot travel. It also wants the court to order “the executive” to establish a “judicial commission of inquiry into the lack of transformation in South African rugby”.

So, you see, you simply can’t please all of the people, all of the time. Or in Fikile’s case, any of the people, any of the time. It’s just like I said – there are no easy answers here.

Me? I’ll be supporting England for the World Cup – being English and all. Of course, I recognise that if they win after  competing and/or taking part, then I won’t be able to claim that they are they are the world champion team, because Pieter Mulder says not, but it would just be nice to see them beat what teams were there.
Maybe they could make the trophy out of plastic, or something – just to signify that it doesn’t really count? That’s actully a pretty good idea. I’ll write to the British High Commissioner, the British Rugby-Unions and the British Government and let them know.


 * and too old, possibly not quite good enough, and not actually South African.

Fikile – u ok hon?

Here’s a statement by our erstwhile Sports Minister, Fikile Mbalula over the weekend:

fm statement

and here’s a letter which has popped into the public domain this morning:

fifa letter

Of course, even though the $10 million payment was made to Jack Warner, it wasn’t a bribe, in the same way that that body of water at Nkandla isn’t meant for any purpose other than fighting fires.

And if it was a bribe, why would they have made that huge PR effort and the big song and dance about such a generous donation to such a worthy cause?

Nah, this totally seems legit.