Author: 6000

Belated scorecard  

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I should have shared this earlier. Or even last night. Still, better late than never.

I remember when SA played the 438 game. Having watched Australia score 434, everyone thought the contest was over. Everyone except one guy in Forries, who I can distinctly recall saying “I dunno, hey? I think we might just do this.” That was during the innings break.

And of course, SA did just do it, scoring 438, and the world is still speaking about it to this day. Yesterday, England blitzed that record, and we should be speaking about that for years to come. Except that the game as a spectacle was ruined by Pakistan not coming close to challenging that monumental total.

Still, it’s recorded for posterity here now. So at least no-one will ever forget.

Sharks gonna shark

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Increased shark activity is expected through spring into summer say the City of Cape Town. The primary reasoning behind this increased shark activity is that sharks are more active during these periods of the year.

I know. I was also amazed.

Sharks are generally pretty good neighbours. Since I have lived here, there have only been three or four fatal attacks in and around Cape Town, and notably, every single one of them has been in the sea: an area which – as a human – is actually wholly avoidable if you should so choose. Although the sample size is tiny, I have extrapolated LCHF-style and worked out that you can probably evade a fatal shark attack by not going in the sea – no matter what sort of stunts the sharks might try to pull.

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But if you are determined to go into the water, then the City has helpfully published seventeen ‘general shark safety tips’ to reduce your risk of being eaten. These include (but are not limited to):

“not swimming if you are bleeding”,
“not swimming, surfing or surf-skiing if there has been a whale stranding nearby” and
“paying attention to any shark signage on beaches”

That last one makes good sense, but one can’t help but wonder that, given the alleged intelligence of the Great White, they might not use it to their advantage. I’d therefore be immediately suspicious of paying any attention to any shark signage reading:

“Come on in. The water is lovely. And absolutely no sharks have been sighted here. Ever. Seriously. Go on – have a swim!” or
“Please ensure that you bathe thoroughly in Braai Sous before entering the water. Nothing too spicy. Thanks.”

or similar. That looks iffy.

If you want to read more on sharks, shark-spotting, shark safety and shtuff like that, have a look at the City’s press release or visit the sharkspotters website.

Above, the infamous Headington Shark.

I got 90% problems…

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…and the SABC is behind all of them.

SABC COO, Zuma stooge and media clown Hlaudi Motsoeneng recently decreed that all SABC radio stations would now have to abide by a new local music quota. This populist move brought SA into line with other international broadcasting behemoths like Canada, Mexico, the Philippines and Jamaica. The only difference is that those national broadcasters chose what many considered to be reasonable quotas – maybe between 30% and 60%. But Hlaudi almost went full North Korea, insisting that 90% of the music played on SABC radio stations would have to be locally produced.

Don’t get me wrong. I do understand the reasoning behind a) The local content rule and b) The ridiculously high percentage Hlaudi chose. (It’s ‘trying to assist the local music business’ and ‘because he’s a desperate, populist goon who hasn’t got a sodding clue what he’s doing, save for serving his allegedly (but almost certainly) corrupt boss like the pathetically weak, pointless, trivial, obsequious lickspittle that he is’, for those of you at the back who are struggling to keep up.)
There’s even a pisspoor song with a cringeworthy video thanking the SABC and all-round professional brown-noser Motsoeneng for the wonderful new quota:

Sweet baby cheeses.

The choice of radio station in the laboratory is 5fm – a national popular music station run by the SABC. It’s generally middle of the road stuff, fairly meh, but equally fairly inoffensive. There’s no Afrikaans, not too much talk, and it’s neither Death Metal, nor RnB-orientated. It’s not full of god-botherers. It’s a decent compromise. Or rather, it was.

Previously, 5fm used to play a mix of local and international music. It wasn’t something I’d particularly concentrated on back then, because it just worked. I’m recalling that it probably looked (sounded?) something like this:

  • Best of Local Music
    Best of International Music

But then, in May, in came Hlaudi’s ridiculous 90% rule, and now the playlist is formulated more like this:

  • Best of Local Music
    Rest of Local Music

If Hlaudi wanted to introduce us to more local stuff, then well done, he did. If he wanted to increase sales, that’s failed badly. I’m now more convinced than ever that a lot of local music is actually dreadful. And in order to make sure that the best stuff is played, it’s played in every show. Now, don’t get me wrong, I know that there was always a pool of songs which was played in every show, but this pool now seems to be smaller, and the extra space is filled up with local crap.

I do get that musical taste is subjective, but the reaction to this 90% change has been generally negative, and it’s widely expected that listenership figures will drop. Anywhere else, this would be an issue, but that’s not how Hlaudi works – he just gets more money from government, who get more money from taxpayers. Insult to injury, anyone?

And yes, we could look (listen?) elsewhere, but there’s nothing that works quite as well as the old 5fm did, otherwise we’d have been listening there instead. There was a niche that it occupied, which was why we went there. It’s gone.

I wonder what the DJs think about this. Obviously, those who have commented on it have commented positively. Given the way Hlaudi operates, you can understand why you might not want to publicly express dissent at any part of his Glorious Masterplan.

I’m not employed by Hlaudi’s organisation though, so I can tell you that it’s shit.

Lucky Escape

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I wrote a couple of months ago that I had abandoned my plans to get a Lily drone, after their estimated delivery time was pushed further and further out, and their videos and updates were greeted with dismay and disappointment by independent experts all over the internet. Then there was the issue of them not being able to deliver to SA because:

tax and import restrictions

Ugh.

Still, on the plus side, they refunded my money quickly and without fuss, and the ZAR:USD exchange rate fucktuation [sic] meant that I didn’t lose out on the deal.
On the downside, it appears that I’m still on their mailing list. And over the weekend, that showed me just how lucky I was. Because the latest news is that US deliveries are only being shipped in late December and into January.

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And then, this line:

Due to regulatory and logistical constraints, international pre-orders will start shipping later in 2017.

This is what they’re saying now, a good six months ahead of the date. This for a product that was meant to be in my hands in February 2016 – six months ago. And, six months ago, guess what? They were saying that people would have their Lily in six months time. Déja vu, much?

Say Antoine & Henry (Founders):

We’ve embarked on a journey to create a self-flying camera not just for hobbyists and professionals, but for any creative mind looking to capture the world from a new angle. This would not be possible without you.
Thank you again for your support. Your vote of confidence means everything to us.

Which is an unfortunate turn of phrase given that I’ve already abstained.

I’ll be interested to see if there are any further delays. I honestly can’t believe that suddenly, everything has changed.