Ask any political commentator and they’ll tell you that the only states that matter in the United States right now are the swing states. And look for any Presidential candidate right now, and they’ll be in one of those swing states, trying to swing it their way.

North Carolina is one of those swing states, and yesterday, Republican candidate [checks notes] “Donald Trump” was there trying to swing it his way.

It’s worth remembering that this is a tough ask. The candidates for the two main parties are pretty much neck and neck, and of course they would be, since they are the best two people that America could find to choose between for the biggest job in the country and one of the biggest jobs on the planet.

And because these candidates are the best, because the job is so big, and because the race is so tight, literally every word counts. Everything will be analysed, broken down, fact checked and reported.
The voters think that they’ve heard it all before, and so it’s going to take something exceptional to put either one of the big guns into the all important driving seat.

With all that in mind, please enjoy Donald Trump’s closing remarks in Gastonia, NC this weekend:

“When I say insane asylums, and then I say, Doctor Hannibal Lecter, does anybody know? They go crazy they say, oh, he brings up these names out of – well, that’s genius, right, Doctor Hannibal Lecter.

There’s nobody worse than him. Silence of the Lambs. Who the hell else would even remember that? I have a great memory but they always hit me. I don’t bring it up too much because they have to take such a – he brought up Hannibal Lecter. What does that have to do with this? What is it? It has everything to do with it, right? He was – that’s who we are allowing into our country and we can’t allow it in our country.

So I’ve done something for you for you that I haven’t done in 20 speeches, I brought up Doctor Hannibal Lecter and we’re allowing him, you watch, you watch these fake people will say again, he brought up Hannibal Lecter has absolutely nothing to do. You know I do the weave, right, the weave it’s genius. You bring up Hannibal Lecter, you mention insane asylum. Hannibal Lecter. You go out, now there’ll be a time in life where the weave won’t finish properly at the bottom and then we can talk.

But right now it’s pure genius hey, I have an uncle, my uncle, Uncle John, my father’s brother, 41 years at MIT longest serving professor has so many degrees he didn’t know what the hell to do with them all in the most complicated, I understand a lot of this stuff, you know, I believe in that. Like, I mean, Jack Nicklaus is not gonna produce a bad golfer. Right you know, that’s the way it works it’s just one of those things and it’s in the family and it’s whatever.”

I know, right?

For me, it’s obviously right up there with MLK Jr.’s I Have A Dream or Churchill’s We Shall Fight On The Beaches. And thus, it will surely take its rightful place as the most inspired – and most inspiring – political monologue of the 21st Century. And I suppose that I could add “so far” on the end of that sentence, but really, who amongst us honestly believes that this will be outdone in the next 76 years?

Literally all of America has been crying out for something… anything: some sign or indication as to who should lead their country for the next 4 years. And if you read those words above and the answer isn’t clear to you… well… then I don’t know what needs to be done.

Of course, the real issue here is that North Carolina needed swinging, and so Trump came out with this absolute shitshow of rambling, nonsensical drivel in front of his supporters at the event – and all across America – and they will still choose to vote for him.

“Doomed” doesn’t even begin to cover it.