Not the inky mess on your skin, nor the 2002 hit-making pseudo-lesbian singing duo from Russia, but The Cape Town Military Tattoo, which is happening this week at the Castle (not technically a castle) of Good Hope in the city centre.
There will be instrumental numbers, dances, silent drills, gun-runs and more. There will also be guns and cannons firing, which is only going to serve to annoy the anti-Guy Fawkes brigade yet further. And there’s Diwali this week as well. Blimey.
Wait til they hear about Vishnu and Shiva’s plans to hold a thunderstorm at some point. Pets be going mad, yo.
But if previous experience has any lessons for us, they are that it will surely cause confusion and dismay. Previously, we’ve had rumours of invasion (really? who would bother, honestly?), terrorist acts and petrochemical disasters. No. Just some army people having some fun with guns.
So yes, expect noise in the Cape Town CBD twixt 8 and 10pm Wednesday to Saturday and feel free to point people this way if they are confused, frightened, bewildered or just terminally stupid.
I’m not going along, but you still can, with this handy link ticketing maestros Computicket, who are selling them off at R125 to R250 per person.