Playing the RaceCard

Thanks to Refresh Creative Media, the clever lot that brought you the brilliant Unfinished Business story about “finishing” Table Mountain, now you too can pretend to be Julius Malema (or any other inflammatory youth leader) by playing the RaceCard™.

Ever been confronted and felt there is no way out?
With no plausible explanation for your actions?
Don’t worry, just pull the RaceCard™.

Simple use the RaceCard™ to get out of any uncomfortable situation with no consequences.

Download your full colour printable RaceCard™ here.

Zuma’s Spousal Budget – Calm Down!

Huge uproar around South Africa today as it emerged last night that the country pays a “massive” R15.5m per year to support President Jacob Zuma’s three wives. According to Minister in the Presidency Collins Chabane, the money is spent on:

“…personal support staff – secretary and researcher – domestic air travel and accommodation, and international air travel and accommodation for official visits abroad approved by the President.”

The budget has increased from just over R8.1m in the previous year, when Kgalema Motlanthe was in charge – although he kept his private life private and his wife did not attend any public engagements.
In 2007/8, when Thabo Mbeki (remember him?) was in charge, the budget stood at R8.4m.

Everyone is up in arms, because obviously, if Zuma had less wives, we wouldn’t be paying as much, innit? How dare he follow his cultural path of polygamy. Of course, there are a couple of things that have been forgotten in all the fuss. Aren’t there always?

  • SA is effectively paying R5m per wife per year. Two years ago, we were were paying R8.4m for a wife we rarely saw.
    Last year, we were paying R8.1m last year for a wife we weren’t even sure existed.
    So where were all the complaints then?
  • R15m per year amounts to about R0.30 ($0.04 or 2½ pence!) per head of population per year. That’s 2.5c per month.
    And since you were already paying half of that without complaint before, you’re actually moaning about an increase of just over 1 cent per month.
    Tell me, in all honesty, did you have big plans for that 1c? Did you?

I don’t disagree that there are other things on which the money could be “better spent”: hospitals, education, housing etc etc. But isn’t that always the case? Why the huge uproar over this? 
No, this is just another misinformed and opportunist attack on Zuma’s lifestyle by the media, helpfully egged on by the DA.
When are they going to realise that their efforts would be better served on matters which they have the power (and democratic right) to challenge? Zuma’s polygamy is not one of them.

And if you’re one of those people who are being swept up by the sensationalism of it all before you’ve actually looked at the facts, well, maybe you need to sit down and think why you’re so upset: is it really that 30 cents a year you’re having to fork out or is there actually something else driving that anger?

Those Zuma Procession Details

Just who was in all those carriages?
It’s the question everyone has been asking since JZ was spotted with Our Queen Liz on The Mall.

Fortunately, Private Eye have revealed the full details of the Royal Procession in their latest issue.

Dr Looni Mbarmi is a colleague of Professor Adams and also supplies Tall Penis Herbs.

The Daily Mail quandary – sorted

I can’t be arsed with the Daily Mail anymore.

Who could forget the infamous Peter Hitchens piece in the Daily Mail last year, covered so adequately in my “The Daily Mail Quandary” post? The quandary being that while the Mail is seventeen different sorts of crap and provides a platform to ill-informed and racist bigots, it also publishes pictures of Kelly Brook frolicking in the surf in a bikini. And while that reasoning may seem a little shallow, it was just enough to keep me clicking through in the vain hope of seeing some more pictures of Kelly Brook frolicking… well… anywhere, really.
This from the newspaper that stated after Diana’s death in 1997:

Associated Newspapers, publishers of the Daily Mail, Mail on Sunday, have declared that any use of paparazzi pictures will have to be cleared with Lord Rothermere, the proprietor who, in turn, proclaimed that there would be a ban on “all intrusive pictures except where they are considered necessary”

Lord Rothermere has since considered tens of thousands of intrusive pictures “necessary” – whatever that means. It’s almost like the “ban” was just words to pacify middle England and AN had no plans to actually ever institute it. How odd.  

But I digress. Again.

Yesterday’s Daily Mail was back on the offensive (in more ways than one) with a stingingly crap article about Jacob Zuma, who is on an official visit to the UK at the moment. The catchy headline?

Jacob Zuma is a sex-obsessed bigot with four wives and 35 children.
So why is Britain fawning over this vile buffoon?

Feeding the  misinformation to Britain’s middle to right-wing idiots this time was Peter Robinson, the man who last year suggested that Britain should invade Zimbabwe (didn’t we do that once before already?) and even wrote 554 words documenting how it might happen (and in doing so, demonstrated why he should never be allowed near any sort of word processor ever again). 
Incidentally, the Tony Blair quote on Mugabe as being “a man has destroyed his country, many people have died unnecessarily because of him” in that article made me chuckle. Doctor Pot, I’d like you to meet Mr Kettle and Brigadier Black.

Robinson’s distasteful Zuma article pokes fun at the culturally-acceptable polygamous relationships of the President and – when passing judgement on Zuma’s exra-marital affairs – demonstrates hypocrisy and exceptionalism we’re so used to when foreigners write about SA. Because Britain’s MPs are hardly squeaky clean in any regard, now are they? And because while Robinson complains about Zuma’s lavish lifestyle while others are starving in his country, the Evening Standard is reporting:

In London 41 per cent of children, 650,000 in all, live below the poverty line (defined as less than 60 per cent of median income), the same as 10 years ago. In inner London the figure rises to 44 per cent.

This just a few miles down the road from the banquet which Zuma will be attending tonight thanks to the Queen.
Not, I hasten to add, that any of this necessarily makes JZ’s behaviour acceptable. But singling him out for abuse is a little unjustified.

And now Zuma has hit back – the Cape Times headline today:

British think we’re barbaric, says Zuma

President Jacob Zuma said he was not surprised by the UK press’s scathing criticism of his polygamous practices because Britons have always believed that Africans were “barbaric” and “inferior”.
In what could spark a diplomatic row, Zuma said those who did not understand his culture should engage with and not hurl insults at him.
“When the British came to our country, they said everything we are doing was barbaric, was wrong, inferior in whatever way. Bear in mind that I’m a freedom fighter and I fought to free myself, also for my culture to be respected.”

A little bit of generalisation on the whole “Britons” thing, – Peter Robinson certainly doesn’t speak for everyone in the UK – but aside from that, I’m in full agreement with him.

Although I wouldn’t have any issue with him being particularly barbaric towards Peter Robinson.

UPDATE: Nice work by Herman Wasserman on his Look South blog.
UPDATE 2: SA Good News describes “Britain’s disapproval of President Zuma’s polymagous ways”.
No – that was the Daily Mail not Britain! GWTP!
UDPATE 3: Murray Hunter’s “modest” (brilliant) addition to the Zuma debate.

Helen talks mainly sense

Grand Emperor of the Western Cape, Helen Zille has been talking up a storm after a police briefing on World Cup security. She warned of the dangers of sensationalist media and their attempts to stoke up negative sentiment about the country and the tournament.
Well said, Helen. We warned you about that over 3 months ago.

“There are a lot of journalists who want sensational stories in the run-up to the World Cup. Be very careful not to be caught off-guard with a sensational quote,” she said.
Zille said it was important not to “pump up” international fears, and mentioned the recent attack on the Togolese football team during the Confederations Cup in Angola as an example of how perceptions could go wrong.
“They don’t differentiate between countries,” she said, adding that she herself had been on the receiving end of journalists “trying to squeeze alarming statements” out of her.

While this is obviously of concern, those journalists should have known better than to mess with Zille. Even when squeezed really tightly, all that comes out is rhetoric; stuff like “ANC”, “totally unacceptable”, “President Zuma” & “morally questionable” with the odd transitional phrase thrown in so it all makes sense.
To her, anyway. 

After savaging the media, she then turned her attention to the equally menacing vuvuzela.

“The vuvuzela is great fun until you sit and hear thousands,” she said.
“You need to warn people. You need to have earplugs on sale at the stadium.”

Seriaas, Helen?

“It is a serious point I am making, I am not being frivolous.”

Oh…  right.
Well, that’s nonsense.
One vuvuzela is annoying. Thousands of them honking together like an army of mad geese is just great.

Also, this gives the ANC a great indication as to how to disrupt the next DA rally that they want to disrupt. No – not the thousands of vuvuzelas thing, the opportunity to sell earplugs to people on the way in.
And then they could do the thousands of vuvuzelas thing just to annoy Helen.