Category: learning curve

Rate this translation

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Heading down to Agulhas today, so here are a couple of Facebook’s translation efforts from the local group down there. Because who could forget Election Rib Frame, and all the hilarity that went with it.

Facebook’s translation software is good, but it’s really not perfect. Especially when it comes to Afrikaans.

“Rate this translation”?
Literally: very good. Actually: Ridiculous.

Or this one:

Anyone get this one? Yes. It’s the cure for moles. Not the ones on the skin around your ass. The small f*&^#*g mammal that digs up your garden.

But Facebook can’t work out the context here, because the Afrikaans word “gat” meaning “hole” is also the slang for “ass”. (Incidentally, the word “slang” is Afrikaans for “snake”, which is probably your best bet for sorting out a mole problem, but still…)

So breaking down the edges of the hole and putting ground (not instant) coffee in there is apparently the way forward. Moles don’t like it. Silly creatures.

Or just scratch your ass open and pour coffee. Whichever you fancy more.

What happened here?

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I’m heading up North next week to do some stuff. I was having a quick look at the flight I’ll be taking, and I’m not sure what happened to it a couple of weeks ago:

That’s a lot of “Diverted to CPT”. And CPT is where it set off from. Bit weird.

All those flights seem to get close though, although they also all seem not to have landed, only dropping to around 4,000m before turning and heading back.

My best guess is that there’s some sort of “not switching the ADS off or on”, and the diversion to CPT is merely the return flight; the anomaly just being the landing (or lack of it) up at the other end. It’s also worth noting that almost all the flights that were “Diverted to CPT” were on ZS-CMD, and all of them were on Mitsubishi CR9s. The problem seems to go away when they ran a Beech 1900D on the route.

A turbo-prop. That would be my first one in SA, and my first one since that horrific landing at LCY last July. Limpopo next week then. Or CPT, depending on what plane I get.

Annoying x2

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That my bank card got cloned is very annoying. It could have been much worse, as whoever did the clonery hit it with one successful transaction yesterday afternoon, and then followed up with another quickfire 8 efforts, but thankfully, only the first one managed to get through.

What’s even worse is that the one transaction that did go through was at a US-based woo-woo dietary supplement site, thus adding pseudoscientific insult to financial injury.

I called the bank immediately, and – credit to them (no pun intended) – they reacted very quickly in stopping anything else from happening, using a scorched earth policy. I can’t help but think that the guy on the other end of the phone – friendly and efficient though he was – wasn’t really bringing much to the conversation by suggesting that it was “probably fraud”. It’s fair to say that everyone involved in the situation was probably well aware of that.

So where did my card get cloned? I don’t know. I used a Nedbank “back of the van” mobile ATM at the races on Saturday (with the card), and I also bought some food there (with the card, but on my phone). I bought some sugary water at a well-known supermarket chain on the way to football yesterday. But if that was the weak link, then we’re really in trouble.

I guess we’ll never know.

I don’t have a bank card at the moment, which is rather frustrating, because I really needed to buy some food today. I guess I’ll just have to manage with the two tonnes of protein powder and multivitamins that have just arrived from Atlanta to keep me going.

He’s Not Wrong

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Sean Dyche makes a good point:

It’s true. Kids are very impressionable. When I were a lad, whenever we saw anything different or exciting in the football over the weekend, there would be loads of us trying it out in the playground on Monday morning. I wonder how many kids were “moving the ball” (and the foam) before taking their free kicks, after Ivan Toney did it, and after it was praised so roundly by all the pundits?

As we remarked at the time, moving the ball might have been seen as being “a bit clever”. But as soon as he moved the foam as well, well, it was clear that he knew he was cheating.

Sure, it’s not the biggest thing in the world, but it is symptomatic of the way that some bits of football are going. And the well-paid, “celebrity” pundits sitting in the cosy, warm studios are – for some weird reason – encouraging it.
So why not start with the small stuff and actually note that Toney was deliberately breaking the rules, rather than admiring his actions? Just say that it was wrong. You don’t have to want him to be banned for 8 months: he can do that himself.

Also, I quite enjoyed this quote because he’s basically taken three whole paragraphs to just say “Fuck you, Michael Owen”.

It’s something I regularly find very easy to condense into just those four words.

Oh, and also, one more thing: I put this graphic up on our football team Whatsapp group this morning and no fewer than six people agreed with it. All of them dads. We’re bringing up our kids right. Forza.

Not a good day

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Another bad day at the office for United. Except it isn’t an office and we’re growing tired of bad days and running out of time to have good ones.

Highlight of the day then was probably a visit to the Investec Cape Town Art Fair. And that was mainly for the people watching. Much of the art was suitably inexplicable and unnecessarily pretentious – especially in their titles:

although some of the actual artwork was really quite interesting:

And there were some eye-wateringly big numbers in numbers on the price tags.

I think this one was a neon Mother Theresa. (jks, obvs)

Yeah, so if those were the highlights, then you can see why I’m looking forward to my bed this evening.

We go again tomorrow.

At life, I mean. I’ll save my money on a return to the Art Fair.