He’s Not Wrong

Sean Dyche makes a good point:

It’s true. Kids are very impressionable. When I were a lad, whenever we saw anything different or exciting in the football over the weekend, there would be loads of us trying it out in the playground on Monday morning. I wonder how many kids were “moving the ball” (and the foam) before taking their free kicks, after Ivan Toney did it, and after it was praised so roundly by all the pundits?

As we remarked at the time, moving the ball might have been seen as being “a bit clever”. But as soon as he moved the foam as well, well, it was clear that he knew he was cheating.

Sure, it’s not the biggest thing in the world, but it is symptomatic of the way that some bits of football are going. And the well-paid, “celebrity” pundits sitting in the cosy, warm studios are – for some weird reason – encouraging it.
So why not start with the small stuff and actually note that Toney was deliberately breaking the rules, rather than admiring his actions? Just say that it was wrong. You don’t have to want him to be banned for 8 months: he can do that himself.

Also, I quite enjoyed this quote because he’s basically taken three whole paragraphs to just say “Fuck you, Michael Owen”.

It’s something I regularly find very easy to condense into just those four words.

Oh, and also, one more thing: I put this graphic up on our football team Whatsapp group this morning and no fewer than six people agreed with it. All of them dads. We’re bringing up our kids right. Forza.

To cheat or not to cheat?

That is the question.
And it’s actually tougher to answer than you might think.

Luis Suárez is, once again, the centre of attention for his last minute antics in a big football match. Luis rose to international prominence with his goalline handball at Soccer City which effectively knocked Ghana out of the 2010 World Cup. And, though I hate to say it now, I defended him over that (although it was mainly just to pass contrary comment on the stupid people on social media).
Forr me, that handball was an instinctive thing – he was on the line, the ball flew at him, instant self-preservation and desperation set in. Four years of preparation, of blood, sweat, tears and hard work came down to that split second:

I would have stopped that shot with my hand if I’d have been on the line that night. So would David Beckham, so would Lionel Messi, neither would Robert Green.

He might have been a thoroughly despicable, cheating, nasty piece of work, but I maintain that that infamous handball was involuntary.

But then… the biting, the diving, the racism, the diving, the biting and the diving since then?
Less involuntary. More considered. Calculated. Controlled.

Deliberate.

Ugh.

The 90th minute dive which won the penalty which assisted Barcelona through at the Nou Camp was disgraceful. It’s difficult not to look at any incident involving Luis Suárez without cheat-tinted spectacles, but even setting aside any dislike for him and his team of UEFA’s darlings, Wednesday evening may have been the straw that broke the camel’s back. (Suárez’ collar bone did survive though, despite the obvious agony as he fell to the floor having not been karate chopped across the neck.)

Anyway, the main reason for this post is to share one of the excellent newspaper articles and soundbites that this has generated. Silver linings – sometimes you’ve just got to try and find them.

Step forward, then Ewan Murray in the Guardian:

Once again the cottage industry that is the lauding of all things La Liga, and Barcelona in particular, belies what appear to be dark arts. The Barça brand matters more than what should always be established codes of football conduct. Pundits fawn, laughably in respect of former footballers who would rightly be incandescent had they suffered at the hands of Barça’s routinely wobbly forwards.

If the awarding of Barcelona’s first penalty of the night was dubious, Thomas Meunier committing the apparently fatal sin of falling over with Neymar in close proximity, the hosts’ second, which fuelled the fairytale, represented a blatant act of cheating.

Ewan pulls no punches, voicing opinions which many of us have been harbouring for some time now.

If you watch back through the dying stages, Barça’s players are throwing themselves to the floor with such desperation it is comical. The not-so- subtle message, as witnessed by millions including impressionable young footballers? When in doubt, when things get seriously tough, keep the conning of officials at the forefront of your mind. The ruse is even more effective when a team are at home, in such an intense atmosphere as the Camp Nou.

Preach, Ewan! Preach!

Please, can the thing that comes of this be the fast forwarding of video-assistants for the referees. The pathetic extra official on the goal line experiment has had virtually zero positive effect and needs to be scrapped in favour of a rugby-style TMO. Of course, if this were the case, Suárez would be off (having been booked for diving earlier in the game) and Barca would be out. Maybe that sort of thing is why technology hasn’t been introduced. Convenient human error being a great way to ensure your pet team continue to prevail.

But I’m sounding bitter and cynical now (albeit with good reason).

Suárez will go on Suárezing for just as long as he is allowed to do so.
The FA used post-match video evidence to look back at incidents in the ManU v Bournemouth game and Tyrone Mings and Zlatan Ibrahimovic were rightly handed bans for breaking the rules.

What sanction then for Luis and Barca? (spoiler: it’s none)

Now [FIFA] need to allow the reviewing of video evidence after the game for players diving and then suspend them.
Either that or maybe make some more big bucks by researching, developing and marketing whatever it is that allows players like Pedro and Javier Mascherano to miraculously recover and get on with the game 5 seconds after what appears to be a career-threatening injury.

Hmm. It’s (still) time to drag football’s governing body, kicking and screaming, into the 21st century.

Sorry seems to be the easiest word…

Wow. Much drama from last night’s play-offs for the final *counts* six berths in the World Cup here next year. As if the entire Sudanese army turning out for the “Match of Hate” between Egypt and Algeria wasn’t enough (and according to reports, it actually wasn’t enough) we then had more drama in the dramatic France v Republic of Ireland match in gay Paris.

In case you’ve been in a hole somewhere listening to explosions in Sea Point, this is the extra-time goal that drew the match and won the tie for Les Bleus, sealing their place in the World Cup draw at the CTICC in Cape Town neeext Friday:

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8woNGFj9fxM]

But *gasp* was that *gasp* handball by French Striker Thierry Henry? Well, yes it was.

Now, I wasn’t going to blog this. It’s been done to death already by angry Irishmen, angry Englishmen and everyone in between. Although actually, there’s mainly only sea between, but someone might have written from a boat or something. You can do that these days. But anyway, I wasn’t going to blog this – that is, until I saw Henry’s side of things:

Thierry Henry and Richard Dunne lay prone in the penalty area where just a few minutes earlier, a travesty of justice had thieved an Irish team their fleeting chances of glorious triumph.
Dunne knew he had cheated. Henry tried to explain. Words did not need to be spoken. But they were. “I handled it,” the French captain confided. His admission was superfluous. “I didn’t mean it,” Henry continued.

Dunne takes up the tale of woe:
“He told us we deserved to win. How is that supposed to make me feel? It makes me feel worse. He’s admitted he cheated. We should have won the game. He just said ‘that’s it’.
“He just said he handled it, he didn’t mean it. Looking at it, it’s quite obvious he did mean it. It’s there for everyone to see and they’re not going to change it now.”

Loving the first sentence from the entirely factual and wholly unbiased Irish Independent there.
Of course, the reaction of Thierry Henry after the goal shows just how terrible he felt about the whole thing as he ran off to celebrate with his French pals in a big heap on the right wing.

And then this on twitter:

hentweet

“im not the referee… but if i hurt some one im sorry”? “if”? Seriaas?

I wonder if he thinks that makes everything ok? (It doesn’t.)
Probably best to keep your mouth shut and your hands off the keyboard next time you cheat, Thierry.

The Irish do deserve that game to be replayed, because there was so much at stake last night. The Irish won’t get the game to be replayed, because there was so much at stake last night. From the moment FIFA announced the seeded draw for the European play-offs, it was clear what their motives were. Big clubs mean big viewing figures mean big money. Simple as. And while things have played (controversially) right into their hands, they’re happy and act like nothing ever happened –  in fact, their report on the game omits any mention of Henry’s left mitt.

So what sanction should Henry face? After all, he’s openly admitted that he cheated. And the implications of that naughty handball were huge.
Here’s my idea: ban him for three games. But not just three arbitrary warm-up friendlies against Lithuania, Iceland and Hungary. Ban him for France’s next three competitive games. Which now just happen to be in South Africa next June. Some sort of justice? Perhaps.

As for those that think that this sort of thing “doesn’t matter”, you just don’t understand.
I feel sorry for you.

UPDATE: Liam Brady: “For the integrity of the game, something has to be done.”

UPDATE 2: FAI lodge official complaint, and request/demand a replay.

There is precedent for the invalidation of such results. In 2005, the Bureau of the Fifa World Cup organising committee reached a decision to invalidate the result of a World Cup qualification match between Uzbekistan and Bahrain on the basis of a ‘technical error by the referee of the match.

Tasty!