The Bends

…continuing from the adventures of yesterday’s post.

No, not the 1995 Radiohead album (although now I’ve thought about it, I’m going to have to have a listen to that), nor the divers’ nightmare of decompression sickness (which I’m still not going to try, despite mentioning it).
No. More specifically this bit of the R61 in the Eastern Cape.

Just south of the last infamous Lusikisiki speedbump is this Superspar billboard:

R61 - Google Maps - Google Chrome 2015-07-14 094852 AM.bmpYes, that’s a screenshot from Google maps. And yes, I should have stopped and taken a photo myself, but I was traumatised from 4 hours of Eastern Cape driving and I needed to get to a beer.

The sign says:

Only 133 bends to go

presumably until you reach their store (we never did).

133 bends? You might think they’re joking, but then you hit this ±20km section of unstraightitude (and that’s a bend every ±150m):

Lusikisiki - Google Maps - Google Chrome 2015-07-14 090736 AM.bmpTwixt the rolling hills of the southern Transkei, it ducks in and out of numerous valleys before heading down to the mighty Mzimbuvu River. And yes, it is ever so bendy. You might think that it looks rather fun, but given the situation I was in when heading down here (several hours in and needing that beer), it was actually rather tiresome.
It was also filled with potholes, damaged armco, broken glass and loose gravel.
Which was nice.

Thankfully, I wasn’t driving my car.

Quite what Superspar think they are doing by quantifying and glorifying this horrendous stretch of (partial) tarmac – let alone linking their brand to it – is quite beyond me. As I mentioned earlier, despite going through the 133 motions as instructed, we never did find their store. Given the mood I was in after all that driving, that was probably good news for their continued trading.

Bugs in the news

Again. Bugs are always in the news, but this weekend provided lots of newsworthy microbiology. Primarily agricultural stuff, but still with at least some (or more) human interest. It’s obviously part of my job to make you realise just how important and relevant microbiology is, so here’s a quick snapshot of what we got served this week.

Bird Flu in Lancashire. Yep. H7N7 in Goosnargh, which coincidentally sounds like a description of the noise a gander might make just before succumbing to the virus. There’s a a 10km surveillance zone and a 3km inner protection zone around the farm in question, and anything poultry-related in that first 28.27km² is being killed. H7N7 is one of the avian flu viruses that can also infect humans (and pigs, seals and horses), so it’s worth keeping under control for more than just the sake of the local chickens.

No Chicken Love in USA. If you want to head away from Virusville, try going down the bacterial route, because Bird Flu isn’t in the only thing that you can get from your chicken: Salmonella can be a proper bastard, too. I contracted Salmonella enteritidis PT4 from a dodgy chicken dish in a dodgy Italian restaurant in a dodgy street in Oxford in the late 90s and I can still remember how sick I was. The main symptoms were sweating, shaking, swearing and farting. Thus, it was a thoroughly unpleasant time for all involved. But all I did was eat some chicken – imagine how much more likely you are to get the bug if you… you…  kiss… your chicken.

In interviews, ill people answered questions about contact with animals and foods consumed during the week before becoming ill; 82 (86%) of the 95 ill people interviewed reported contact with live poultry (e.g., chicks, chickens, ducks, ducklings) before becoming ill. Sixty-four ill people who had purchase records available reported purchasing live baby poultry from 17 different feed supply stores and hatcheries in multiple states. Ill people reported purchasing live poultry for backyard flocks to produce eggs or meat, or to keep as pets. Many ill people in these outbreaks reported bringing the live poultry into their homes, and others reported kissing or cuddling with the live poultry. These behaviors increase a person’s risk of a Salmonella infection.

The states worst affected are Alabama, Mississippi and Virginia. I’m saying no more.

Bee Flu in Cape Town. Not strictly Bee Flu, but American Foulbrood Disease, caused by the spores of Paenibacillus larvae ssp. larvae. It’s nasty, and it’s killing thousands of bees in the Western Cape. The good news is that you and I can’t get it (although I wouldn’t advise cuddling or kissing any bees). The bad news is that if it doesn’t get sorted soon, then not only will local honey prices rise (oh no!), but the local fruit industry might collapse:

“As much as we can import honey cheaper from other countries, we cannot import the pollination service done by bees. If not controlled, the disease would also affect the fruit industry, which contributes a lot to the South African economy, and put food security at risk.”

Paenibacillus larvae is related to the bug that causes Anthrax, and their spores can survive for decades unless you kill them with fire. So that’s literally what you have to do with your infected hives and equipment. Not ideal for the longevity and continuation of your bee-keeping business.

Dog Foot Popcorn Odour Mystery Solved. Do you sniff your dog’s feet? For me, that’s right up there with cuddling and kissing your chicken. But there are, apparently, some individuals out there who do this and then – after a brief paws – report back that the feet in question smell “like popcorn”.

Why do dogs’ paws smell like popcorn? Because bacteria, obviously:

Dog feet are a great place for bacteria and yeast to take up residence because there’s a lot of moisture and little to no air circulation in the folds and pockets of skin between the toes and foot pads. Bacteria flock there and reproduce with exuberance. All these microorganisms emit their own distinct odors (they’re what give us BO), and the popcorn/corn chip smell on some dogs’ feet could be due to yeast or Proteus bacteria. Both are known for their sweet, corn tortilla–like smell. Or it could be Pseudomonas bacteria, which smell a little fruitier—but pretty close to popcorn to most noses.

Having years of laboratory experience, I can safely say that yeast smells like bread, not popcorn (I love the smell of freshly grown yeast on a plate) (just try not to think of where it came from). Pseudomonas spp. smell sweet and pleasant (but not of popcorn), and Proteus is a mix of fish (not good fish) and vinegar. Thus, I’m struggling to get the popcorn reference here. But equally, I’m not going to go down the road of smelling Colin’s dirty feet (or anything else) in the name of science.

Cape To Cape 2015

Say what you like about the Western… er… Cape – it might have its downsides, but it also has loads of internal Capes: Columbine, Town, of Good Hope, Point, Hangklip, Agulhas, Infanta. And that’s just off the top of my head.

Norway also has a Cape – Nordkapp or North Cape (check out their pseudo Table Mountain). And now, a former SAS (the airline, not the elite British military unit) (I think) is planning to fly from there, to one of ours.

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This is Johan Wiklund, and behind him is his 1935 De Havilland DH-60 Moth biplane. He’s attempting to fly it from Nordkapp to South Africa (specifially the Cape of Good Hope), roughly following the route taken by adventurer and aviator Göste Andrée in 1929.

This appeals to me (as long as it’s someone else doing it). While the plane may be old (and put together by Johan and his friends), there’s a modern twist with GoPro footage, social media updates and you can even follow the flight on our old friend FlightRadar24.com. See below for some details.

Johan set off this week and plans to arrive in Cape Town on the same day – October 24th – and at exactly the same time – 3:10pm – as Andrée did, 86 years previously. It’s touches like that that make this adventure so special.

If this has made the news here in Cape Town, I’ve missed it. But I’m going to be keeping an eye on Johan and his Cape to Cape trip very carefully, and so can you on the following links:

Facebook – FlyingCapeToCape
Net – CapeToCape.net
FR24 – SE-AMO (and recent flight database here – click the little plane logos to view)

The weather is Scandinavia has been pretty awful since the trip started, but Johan has still managed about 1500km and has just arrived in the Swedish city of Gävle (there he is via their webcam, on the grass airstrip, next to the four squat trees), under heavy skies.

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Gävle looks like a really exciting place to be.

Look out for more updates on 6000 miles… over the coming weeks.

Z is for…

Phezulu Safari Park was arguably the second most bizarre place we visited in KZN. (More on the winner of that auspicious prize at a later date.)
A mish-mash of animals, posh housing, a curio shop, an apparently traditional Zulu village and a snake park, the reviews on Trip Advisor were divided, from the sublime through to the frankly terrifying. It wasn’t cheap either, so we were taking a bit of a chance.

First up was the tourist-aimed – but still educational – Zulu dancing and village tour. Perhaps the most surprising thing about this was that about 70% of the audience was Zulu. The dancing was good, the story-telling and village tour, interesting. I learned a lot.

The (45 minute) game drive was initially disappointing, but then I had been rather spoilt recently at San Bona. Still, the kids got to see a giraffe up close (real close) and then we headed back towards the reception place, through the larney housing complex. And, weirdly, that’s where all the animals were. We were asked not to take photos with houses in the background, and we did our best to comply, but it was difficult, because literally, that’s where all the animals were. Wildebees, impala and zebra all over your grass: lawnmowing and fertilising in one.

The beagle would have (rightfully) gone bonkers. The guide told us that there was nothing there that would eat you (‘erbivores, in’t they?), but that an irritated wildebees would happily trample you to death. (And we all know about the dangers of giraffes already.)

It wasn’t San Bona (although in fairness, it never claimed to be), and the kids did enjoy seeing the animals at such close quarters. But it was a bit of a weird experience.
As I mentioned above, the reviews do seem to be a bit hit and miss, and that describes our experience pretty well.

I guess what I’m saying is that if you are headed that way, this might just be for you. Or it might not.

Chemtrails? You’re Welkom.

I mean, we see them over Sheffield all the time, and we don’t get them over Cape Town (save perhaps for the odd occasion when SA223 takes a slightly southerly track), but now “they” are spraying chemtrails all over the Free State, affecting the weather patterns and effecting “their” mind control on the citizens of Welkom. (Good luck with that.)

Don’t believe me? Just check out this video evidence.

Obviously, it couldn’t just be vapour trails from one of the numerous daily Cape Town to Joburg flights which pass almost directly over Welkom, could it?

Flightradar24.com - Live flight tracker! - Google Chrome 2015-06-26 022103 PM.bmp

Although, of course, that’s what “they” want you to think. Because that’s how “they” disguise “their” nefarious acts, isn’t it? I’ve been fooled.

One of the commenters on that video is a one Jo Rautenbach. Jo is no fool when it comes to the truth about chemtrails:

maybe you and I are the only ones aware of this stuff if 82 people have watched this and nobody has anything to say!

Or maybe nobody is allowed to comment, Jo… hashtag mind control.
Jo’s Youtube profile makes vaguely interesting reading, with likes on videos by US loons about the Pope, and CERN and ley lines, and crop circles in the Netherlands and 12th planet observation, interspersed with the highlights of various sessions of the Co-operative Funeralcare European Masters bowls tournament.

If you ever happen to read this, Jo, then yes, obviously I am a secret agent from the CIA/Mossad/The Illuminati/Project Nibiru sent with the mission of ridiculing you and your beliefs.

And I’d just like to say a big thank you for making it so very easy to do.