Where have you been?

Rumour and intrigue have been surrounding the recent paucity of posts on 6000 miles… There were pleas and rebukes on Facebook. There were personal emails filled with concern and bitter allegations. There was even a phone call, although to be fair, that turned out to be a wrong number. 
But while readers speculated wildly, none of them hit the nail on the head. I have mainly just been sleeping.


Mainly sleeping

The 6000 miles… Southern Cape Tour™ starts next week. Look out for live blogging from beyond the Overberg including (I hope) the southernmost blog posting in Africa from somewhere near a big stripy lighthouse.
Flickr should also be fairly busy, but maybe only once I get back, thanks to those pesky bandwidth regulations around Bredasdorp.

Akismet issues

My Akismet anti-spam plugin has been misbehaving, seemingly since I upgraded to WordPress 2.6.1. This issue was indicated to me by (previously) regular commentor and all-round nice guy Del, who emailed me to say that he got a stream of computer-generated abuse each time he attempted to reply to a post.

At first, I just assumed it was because Akismet had worked out that Del was in Australia and therefore it was fine to abuse him. However, I thought I’d better not let it stop other nationalities from passing comment on my spoutings and so I contacted the guru. He came out with some somewhat vague reasoning for the problems which included the word “betweem”. He likes his big words. Anyway, I have deactivated Akismet and booted up YAWASP for a trial period. Let’s see what happens.

If you’ve had problems leaving comments, please email me. I like to hear what you have to say (mostly). Additionally, see if you can leave one now.

Incidentally, I notice that Ma.tt Mullenweg and the WordPress crew were in Cape Town this last week. I didn’t know they were coming or I would have said hello. And asked Ma.tt why his damn plugin was playing up!

Luister Engelsman…

… as jy dit nie hier laaik nie, hoekom gaan jy nie maar terug Engeland toe nie?*

Why do people always ask me that?

So asked a commenter on one of my bosparra.com posts (scroll down to comments – his is the very first).  Normally, I wouldn’t make a big deal out of something said over there. I select posts which I think might be of interest to the bosparra audience and I thought that one fitted the bill. The selection process is more about choosing something topical and South African than choosing something sycophantic. If people don’t agree, well – that prompts (occasionally heated) discussion and that’s fine by me. People must say what they want to. It’s the only way things get sorted. Well, that and rubber bullets.
Also, I must admit that my Afrikaans isn’t all that it might be, which leaves me a little behind when posting on a predominantly Afrikaans site, (although a GCSE in German stands one in surprisingly good stead when it comes to the basic vocabulary).

However, two things changed that plan of (lack of) action in this case. One was the same commenter popping up over here and the other was the point at which I got my basic Afrikaans together and realised exactly what he was moaning about. Either of which would have made him fair game, to be honest… but both together – well…

Yes, My Name is Botha (as in Earl) – let’s call him “MNIB” for short – is upset about… (and here I pause for dramatic effect)… the title of my blog. He whines:

HY impliseer dat ONS nie beskaafd is nie!
(HE is implying that WE aren’t cultured!)

No, I’m not. Unless you’re Australian. Are you Australian?

MNIB has failed to see the heavy sarcasm dripping from every letter of the title. However, rather than lecture me on the good (or civilised) bits of South Africa, he instead goes on the attack – telling me about how my native country is assisting with the destruction of Islam and is at war with the Irish (really?!?).  

So: Luister MNIB – I think I’m more in love with SA than you are. While you can only be negative about the UK (so far as to make up fake wars!), I’ve long been waxing lyrical over how great this country is. About the milk stout, the optimism, the people, the mountains, the spirit, the beaches etc etc.
The title of the site is very much tongue in cheek – when one has seen Oxford’s Blackbird Leys on a Friday night, one could never truly accept the UK as a bastion of civilised behaviour.  

As I said in my reply to your comment – I won’t be changing the name of the site, even if you pay for the rebranding. I honestly can’t see that your suggestion: 9,600 kms from s**t would really attract as many visitors as the now (in)famous 6000 miles… brand does. Also, as I have absolutely no bearing upon the decisions of the British government, which is nearly (but not quite) as barmy as their SA counterparts, I will be unable to prevent them participating in conflicts overseas.

Maybe you’ll actually choose to read a few of the posts on here and you’ll see what I mean. But more likely, I guess you’ll just mutter doos and start whining when I post at bosparra again.

Your choice. But asb… think before you moan.

* “Listen Englishman, since you don’t like it here, why don’t you go back to England?” 

Return of the Daxk

Daxk is back with a belter of a comment that sums up many SA expat’s feelings perfectly. Perhaps.

Aaah yes,6K,I really dont understand what the fuss is about,its been going on for about a week and they’ve only killed about 25,going back to the famous Crime Blog post,and the normal 50 murdered per day on average,its hardly going to make a blip on the figures,is’nt it?
Besides, the police services have been saying for years that its the illegal Mocambican and Zimbabwean immigrants who are responsible for the Hi-Jackings and armed home invasions, not to mention the daily cash in transit robberies.
will be interesting to see wether there has been a decrease over this period.
Hate to say it,but its only been noticed because its all on Camera.
Ho Hum! Another day in Paradise.

When responding to something like this, I often find it difficult to know where to start. Then I remember Maria’s advice – “Start at the very beginning – a very good place to start”.
So maybe we should start with the fact that Daxk is right in the thick of the action, in Ireland. And no – that’s not the name of a township just outside Jo’burg, it’s the place 11,000kms away where they make Guinness and film the pisspoor Ballykissangel.

Moving on from that shock revelation, I’m assuming that the “famous Crime Blog post” Daxk refers to is the BSACP, which was voted as the second best post written on any South African blog in the whole of 2007. (Just behind one about buying condoms, but that’s not important right now.) Daxk doesn’t agree with the sentiment of that post, despite the fact that it quite clearly states:

South Africa has a big problem with crime… The stats show that South Africa remains one of the most violent societies on earth – the figures are shocking.

I don’t know. Maybe I should have made it a bit more melodramatic.

Daxk goes on to say that because the murder rate in South Africa is so high, we shouldn’t really be bothered about this minor problem – “they’ve only killed about 25”. Perhaps Daxk would call that attitude “desensitization”. Most others would choose “cold”, “unfeeling” or “callous”. 

And then, the pièce de résistance – the affirmation that illegal immigrants (those from Mozambique and Zimbabwe, anyway) are responsible for armed home invasions, hijackings and cash-in-transit robberies – and a suggestion that because of the xenophobic violence against foreign nationals, the numbers of these crimes may have decreased over the last week. This would be laughable, if it wasn’t quite so inaccurate, irrelevant and downright sick.
The mobs roaming informal settlements in Gauteng at the moment are targeting anyone suspected of being foreign – legal, illegal, men, women, children. Several deaths have been South African nationals who were mistaken for foreign nationals. The excellent Special Assignment on SABC3 devoted their whole show to the issue yesterday evening – including interviews with the families of the victims of the gangs’ “mistakes”, something you may have seen if you weren’t in Ireland. Instead you rely on iol, news24 and Tannie Brenda for your third hand information.

The figures suggest that there are somewhere between 3-5 million immigrants in SA. (Incidentally, I think that the breadth of those numbers quite clearly indicates the huge problem with border control in SA.) And yes, crime is high in South Africa, but the suggestion that around 1,000 of those immigrants being displaced, many of them women and children (60+ injured, 23 dead as of last night) would make a difference to the number of armed robberies is a bit of a stretch. A desperate one.

And yes. It’s all on camera. And, in some ways, thank goodness it is. This is not something that should be or can be brushed under the carpet. Just because the victims are immigrants, because some foreigners may be involved in crime, because “they’ve only killed 25” doesn’t make this situation any less of a crisis. 

Please note: anyone – Daxk included – is welcome to share their views by commenting on 6000 miles… provided they abide by the rules available here.

To sleep, perchance to dream

I couldn’t sleep last night. It was a combination of things which prevented my slumbers.

The heat was the obvious one. Considering we’re supposed to be well into autumn now, with the leaves taking on a rusty hue and the evenings closing in, it was a bloody hot, still night last night. I blame Al Gore.
Those sort of evenings bring out the mozzies, whose delicate whine and constant movement keeps the mind fully occupied like a blindfolded Luke Skywalker with a light sabre, trying to eliminate them in the dark.
And then when you finally do get to sleep, it’s a fitful sleep, punctuated with dreams about Svetlana Boguinskaya’s floor exercise routine at the 1988 Seoul Olympics and getting the number 3 pencil coil replaced on your car the next morning. Until… all is finally peaceful both in and outside your mind.

And then the mosquitoes come back for dessert.

Anyway, while I was suffering the slings and arrows of outrageous insomnia, the results of the SA Blog Awards 2008 were being announced at the UCT Tennis Club, which – I presume, anyway – has air conditioning. And I didn’t win. Some have already suggested that the results were rigged like a Spanish galleon, but I couldn’t possibly agree with that sentiment*.

6000 miles… came:
5th in South African Weblog of the Year
4th in Best South African Personal Blog
2nd in Best Original Writing on a South African Blog and
2nd in Best Post on a South African Blog for The Big South African Crime Post.
(If you haven’t read this yet, why not?)

It’s a more than reasonable result when you consider that with 3 days of nominations still to go, there had been 4000+ nominations for 900+ blogs. And then in the voting, thanks to your support, 6000 miles… punched well above its weight against some really big guns in each of the categories it was nominated in.
I really appreciate your efforts.

Next year is my year. Possibly, anyway.

* …in public.