Category: economic issues

Cape Town Loadshedding 2018

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I would really rather not be writing this one.

Yep. Loadshedding is back. Not wet coal or no coal or breakdowns or corruption this time. This is strike action, although some believe it should be called something entirely different:

Because yes, this electricity shortage is because the workers aren’t happy about not getting a pay rise this year. But whatever terminology you wish to use, it’s the everyday people of the country that will suffer.

Which brings me to my next point: if you are in Cape Town, when might you be likely to suffer?

Here’s the information you need, in handy PDF form.

To work out when you might expect the lights to go out. And the TV, during the World Cup. Or the rugby, you smarmy egg-chasers. Yeah, that grin disappeared pretty quickly, didn’t it?

Using the schedule isn’t exactly rocket surgery. Use the map to find the numbered area in which you live or work (or intend to watch the sport), then match the date on the timetable below to see when you can expect the misery of a rolling blackout.

If you’re outside any of the gaily coloured areas on the map, then you need to go to the Eskom website to get your schedule.

They are taking the piss

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With the (government regulated) fuel price reaching a new record level today, that same government (the one that also imposed a 1% increase in VAT, a 7% increase in the Fuel Levy and a 18.4% increase in the Road Accident Fund Levy just a couple of months ago) tweeted this:

Sure, it might look like they are trying to help us cut our petrol use, but it does seem a bit like the school bully giving you a plaster for your bleeding knee when he was the one who tripped you up in the playground.

They’re taking the piss, right?

I mean, check that incredible starter:

Make Fewer Trips

Wow… Revolutionary.
Thanks, Einstein.

A better way of saving South Africans money on petrol would surely be to revisit all those recent tax increases or tackle corruption and run the economy a bit better so that the currency wasn’t always struggling against the USD oil price benchmark.

But given that neither of those things is ever going to happen, I guess that I’ll just have to “accelerate smoothly” and “close my windows”.

FFS.

Tweets I thought I’d get in more trouble for than I actually did

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Number 1 in a series of… well… probably quite a few, to be honest.

This ended up on my timeline yesterday evening:

Local “musical” act “The Kiffness” is referring to the Afrikaburn festival, which took place in the Tankwa Karoo this past weekend. It’s the South African equivalent of Nevada’s infamous Burning Man festival, and the final acts of the event involve the burning of some of the large artworks.

“The Kiffness” makes the point that the materials used in those installations that are burned could be put to better use to help rebuild shacks in townships which are regularly affected by fires.

And he’s right. Perhaps they could be.

But…

If we’re going to choose to police what people can do with their private property and money, if we’re going to choose to police free thought and art – however destructive it may be or seem to be – then let him who is without sin cast the first stone.

Because it wasn’t so long ago that “The Kiffness” voluntarily posted this on one of its social media feeds:

Yep. There’s our protagonist outside one of Cape Town’s more salubrious venues, with a fistful of dollars and a hashtagged promise to #makeitrain*.

An image which I included in my reply to his original tweet:

Yep. Surely, if there are better things to do with the materials used in the construction of flammable artwork, then there were also better things to do with that that R600 – especially in Cape Town’s CBD in the middle of winter?

Some would argue that even if there were no local poverty or homelessness, there would always be many better things that you could do with R600 than spend it at Mavericks.

But I’d say that what “The Kiffness” chooses to do with his money is his choice. Just that his Afrikaburn thoughts might gain better traction were he to practice what he preaches. I’m reliably informed that “The Kiffness” does “jazzy dance and electronic music”, but apparently it doesn’t draw the line at delving into HipHopcrisy.

Sorry, not sorry.

I thought his legion of fan would come after me for pointing this out, but evidently, it was busy doing other stuff yesterday.

Oh, and it’s worth noting that the Afrikaburn organisers do support a number of local charities, including:

The Bergie Bag Project
Bags of food, clothes and medical supplies to homeless people in Cape Town.

I’m sure R600 would go a long way to supporting the cause of those sleeping rough near Mavericks on Barrack Street, and beyond.

 

[For the record: I have no affiliation with Afrikaburn, “The Kiffness” or Mavericks, and have happily, repeatedly and successfully avoided all three during my time in South Africa.]

 

* I am of the opinion that this should likely read “make it rain” – a popular culture reference described thus: “When you’re in da club with a stack, and you throw the money up in the air at the strippers. The effect is that it seems to be raining money”, and not “makei train”, which is the railway route between Minsk and Kalinkavichy, funded under Department of Transport and Infrastructure Minister (now Belarusian Minister of Foreign Affairs), Vladimir Makei.

I hope this clears things up for you readers. 

Tipping point

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Incoming from Uber Eats, who we occasionally use to order ribs, pizzas, burgers and several other unhealthy – but nearly always enjoyable – items. Great news – you can now tip your driver. Officially.

There will be some of you who have already worked out that you slip your Butlers or Oishi delivery guy a few extra Rands for his trouble, so why not your Uber Eats guy too?

The thing is, the joy of Uber Eats is that it’s a cashless system, so it’s not always possible to find a R20 note without a bit of forethought. And although Butlers and Oishi also offer a cashless option in the form of Snapscan, there’s the option to add your tip there and then.

OK – we’ll continue with this in just a second, but already, I can see that there will be some people who will take issue with that photo. Stereotypes in the race of the driver, the race of the customer, and the fact that she seems to be working for Starfleet.
The fact is that every Uber Eats driver we have ever had has been black (and male* – hence my ubiquitous use of ‘he/his’ in this post), every time we have used Uber Eats, I have been white, and conveniently, it turns out that the beagle is a huge fan of Star Trek, so there you go.

And now back to the post…

Interestingly, when we do offer our Uber Eats driver a cash tip they are always surprised and delighted. This suggests to me that this is a rather unusual practice. It shouldn’t be that way though, surely?

Well, now it doesn’t have to be:

That seems pretty straightforward, now doesn’t it?

I’m not sure exactly how the Uber Eats pricing model works and how much of your order price goes to the driver, but I’d wager that 1) it’s not very much and 2) if you’re using the system as a customer, then you’re probably able to share a bit of the wealth with the guy who just saved you going out to the local takeaway joint in the no rain.

Do it.

 

* did I just assume his gend… Yes. Yes I did. Get over it. 

Gone yachting

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I like writing about yachting. There are hundreds of opportunities to slip yachting puns into your post, but it’s ok: yaw knot going to ketch me reaching for any of them. (Although I might pop one in schooner or later, so don’t go aweigh.)

But I digress. Often.

The Boy Wonder had a great weekend, which included a sunset cruise for a birthday party. The boat he was on was fairly impressive (friends, all you can eat sushi, on-board DJ), but the boat he saw while he was out there was on a whole other (sea) level.

Meet CLOUDBREAK, freshly into Cape Town from Tristan de Cunha.

72 point 5 metres of luxury yacht, with 22 staff for the 12 guests, who are housed in 1 master suite, 3 double and 2 twin cabins. Swimming pool, helicopter landing pad (because… well, obviously you need to park it somewhere), jacuzzi, and a tender garage for all your James Bond moment requirements. Jet skis, kayaks, flyboard, windsurfers. In case you get bored of the on-board cinema. Wow.

What’s more, by utilising YachtEye technology, charterers are able to trace the course of their passage in real-time on a collection of iPads found throughout the yacht. As impressive in its subtleties as its more obvious design features, CLOUDBREAK is finished with heated flooring in the ensuite facilities and totally automated doors.

And it can all be yours from just €750,000 (R10.7m) a week.

“Plus expenses.”

I’ve checked my bank account, and it being in that deliciously misleading bit twixt pay day and debit orders, I reckon I can afford almost 3 minutes and I’m off down to the Waterfront to cash it in right now.

If you’re reading this in Cape Town today (as in the day that I wrote it: 26th Feb 2018), CLOUDBREAK is still moored outside Mugg and Bean at the Waterfront if you want to go and have a look.

No touchies though, ok? Much like the rest of us, you simply can’t afford the cleaning bills.