Category: annoying people

Politician’s election promise actually comes true

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I know. I know! A politician’s election promise coming true. Incredible scenes.

Politicians are known for being somewhat dishonest and duplicitous at the best of times, but when there’s an election coming up, it’s easier just to take everything they say with a large shovel of salt. Especially when they are unlikely to win the election, and therefore don’t have to deliver on the fanciful promises that they made in the run up to the vote.

The recent US election was actually very close (until it wasn’t), with wild pledges and assurances being flung around by everyone concerned.

[An aside: there are numerous examples of people believing election promises (or believing that those election promises didn’t apply to them) on this subreddit. So many heartaches, so much schadenfreude.]

But how about this? One of the surely more outlandish claims from the eventual losing candidate has actually come to pass! She didn’t make an election promise for herself to deliver upon, though. She told us what the other guy was going to do. And the right-leaning press said it was nonsense:

Yeah, I mean, it does seem a bit much.

But then what we think of as reality has been horrifically skewed and rearranged over the last few months.
And yesterday, the orange shitgibbon said this:

He then went on to praise the National Guard for restoring order in LA before they’d even got there:

I love the line “For those keeping track”, because to be fair, a lot of people have understandably given up on that right now.

But then they did get there:

…fulfilling Harris’ election promise.

I know. I know! A politician’s election promise coming true. Incredible scenes.

All for nothing?

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No matter who wins this afternoon’s little matchup in North London, it’s going to be a massive struggle for them to stay in the Premier League next season. The last six clubs promoted to the top flight have come straight back down, and between them, scored a record number of points. And not a record number in a good way.

Why is this? Well, the gulf between the two leagues has always been opening up, but it seems that soon after Covid, it widened into a chasm of epic proportions. And if you were in there when this happened, you now seem to have some sort of protection against relegation.

So suddenly, you have the likes of Bournemouth, Fulham, Brentford and Brighton battling it out for European places. And no offence to those clubs, but they’re not exactly historically the biggest teams. But they were in the mix when it counted and now they are the new biggest teams.

Of course, 95% of it comes down to money. Plucky performances and passionate support can only do so much. And how on earth are Championship cubs meant to compete when there’s this level of financial disparity?

When you don’t have European football, and when you don’t have an assured place in the Premier League, you simply can’t attract big players. And the double whammy is that the opposition can.
And thanks to English teams performing way above the average in the European competitions this year, there could be as many as 10 of the 17 existing teams in the Premier League playing in Europe next year. Six of them will be in the top tier on the chart below, another four in that second tier.

There’s a lot of money splashing around for the other clubs when you aren’t in those top two bands.

Spurs and ManU might have had absolutely awful seasons this time around, but they were still miles clear of the relegation places. There’s just no competition anymore when it comes to going down. And while that might be a very comfortable position for the established clubs, it will slowly(?) kill the league.

Of course, I hope we go up this afternoon. We have played brilliantly all season and we deserve to celebrate with something to show for it. But at the back of my mind (and those of dirty l**ds and Burnley fans, if they’re being honest), is the tinge of realism that next season will be a hard watch.

Still… let’s deal with that if and when we have to.
COME ON YOU RED AND WHITE WIZZZZZAAAAARDS!

EDIT: OK, a few days later now and that didn’t go well.
But I have just spotted this:

Which does kind of prove the point.

Not worried

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We should all be worried about just how much the internet and the things on the internet know about us.

Or should we?

No. Just relax, because the internet and the things on the internet clearly know next to nothing about us. Here are a few adverts and things that I was presented with just yesterday. Honestly, why are these companies wasting my time and their money by showing me stuff like… well… this?

Yeah. I’m the world biggest Manchester United fan. I never stop talking about them and my love for all things Old Traffordesque. Of course I’ll head out to a ManU bar to watch them play.
What an absolute waste of pixels.

Oh, and in answer to the question at the bottom there: no. lol.

Then there was this. No need.

I’m literally incredulous at this point. I have never shopped at Temu, I have never weighed 160kg (or even close, thank you very much), high waist really doesn’t complement my shape, and I clearly don’t understand the meaning of the word “elegant”.

I have so many questions.
What are they thinking? Is this a novelty item? Why would I be interested? And – although I really don’t want to ask this one – what actually is the fabric on the arse bit of these thundergrunties? It looks like the industrial-strength plastic they use to waterproof heavy loads on long-distance trucks.

Oh. Oh. Maybe it is. Right. [grimace]

Let’s move on: Garmin. GARMIN! Who (should) know EVERYTHING about me (including that I am nowhere near 160kg) given the data I supply them with. Garmin decides to show me this:

Wut? Are you absolutely nuts? Given that I don’t cycle and I don’t swim, this really is a stretch. For some reason, Garmin thinks that I might want to increase my average run distance by [several], then take up those two other activities and do them as well. I don’t like water or wheels.
Truth be told, I’m not even that keen on running.

Maybe Garmin is trying to kill me because I didn’t sign up for their $6 a month, AI-powered, kak package.

But hey, all of this has put my mind at rest.
Clearly, we think that Big Brother knows an awful lot more about us than it actually does.

It/He/The Collective know nothing.

Opponents and internet hypocrisy

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So, thanks to a 120+2 winning goal, it’s Sunderland that get through to face United in the Playoff Final next Saturday. Got to love that last minute winning feeling. As the “Football Away Days” FB page shared:

And it is a great photo, depicting a great moment. I’ve spotted at least two phones, but let’s not let that detract from the image and the impressive description.

No, let’s allow… er… the “Football Away Days” FB page to do that for themselves, by suggesting that the last minute winning goal (see above) should never have been allowed to happen:

Extra points for using an image taken a whole 2 seconds before the one at the top of this post.

Got to keep all the fans happy? Easy!
Simply use the narrative that Sunderland fans are amazing, and that Coventry City were cleared robbed. Just don’t do it in the same post. Separate them by at least a couple of minutes.

Well done. I’m sure that no-one has noticed.

Aaaand we’re back!

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Yesterday’s internet issue lasted well into today, but the announcement of a restoration of service came alongside a complete explanation of what had gone wrong, and a full apology.

Lol. Did it bollocks. Stuff just finally started working again at about 2 this afternoon, and we haven’t heard a peep from our ISP.

[sarcasm]Amazing.[/sarcasm]

Thankfully, and I am saying that with a very calm voice because this is now in the past, we could use the satellite TV to watch United’s playoff semi-final. And so we did.

And that was genuinely amazing.

A new record aggregate score for the Championship playoff semis, and a place at Wembley next Saturday.

They’ve been brilliant. They’ve blown Bristol City away.

Again. No chicken counting. But this does just feel better than our previous [checks notes] nine failed attempts in the playoff system.