Stellenblog

A day out (sort of – we were home by 3:30pm) in Stellenbosch. And I know I said that I’d share it live, but if it weren’t for the detail above, you might think we were still there, so it’s all good, right?

We started at the Unlock Escape Rooms in the Eikestad Mall, where we played the Oak City Wine Heist game. We’re kinda old hands at escape rooms now, and we were headed out to Stellies because we’ve done all the ones in Cape Town. We finished this one in 47 minutes, but it was a bit disappointing. One of the major components of the room wasn’t working, and despite watching us struggle with it for maybe a quarter of a hour, they only told us that it was broken after we got out and had asked what the relevance of the whole thing was.

So we could have been a lot quicker, and it could have been a lot more fun.

They also could have… you know… mended it. But no.

So fun, but not up to the standards we’re used to. 3 out of 5 stars.

Then off to Hartenberg for some wine and some food. And this was really good.

It’s seriously pricey, but their “super premium” tasting option is worth it just to experience their flagship offerings. Link.

Great service from Sive, and a real privilege to be able to taste some really superb wines, despite the bonkers prices. Their Gravel Hill Syrah is exceptional, but at R1,275 (£55, $69), it’s also way out of reach for most of us. I also enjoyed the The Stork Shiraz (R1,050) and the Bordeaux style (not blend, because no Malbec) The Mackenzie at R875.


And while the wines were unquestionably very special, you could get three or four bottles of very decent stuff for the price of any one of those big boys, so you can make your own call on that.
Because it’s not like their “everyday” wines are in any way poor. Their easy-drinking Cabernet Sauvignon (R335) made for a lovely accompaniment to their delicious cheese and charcuterie grazing platters in the summer heat.

Before we left, we popped down to see their Ankole cattle. Too hot to spend too long with them, but wow, they are incredible: hornz for dayz.

And then – with the Boy Wonder acting as chauffeur – it was back home for a swim and a blog.

The problem with having so very many wine farms on the doorstep is that even when they are really good – which Hartenberg undoubtedly is – it seems wasteful to go back when you could be experiencing something new and untried.

But maybe we need to add this one to our “let’s go back again” list, just because it was a great few hours out.

Admyt hits Canal Walk – save LOADS!

It’s still one of the finds of recent times for me. It saved my son half an hour of queuing to pay for parking after the football last week. It means I don’t have to worry about whether a place takes cards for parking payments or if I have change or where I put my parking ticket or anything.

It’s live across SA at loads of locations, with more being added on a regular basis. Just like the behemoth mall that is Canal Walk. And because it’s launching there in Black Friday week, they’ve got a double deal on just for you. And you. OK, you as well.

Firstly, save R20 off your first (paid) parking by using my referral code when you sign up:

TRE162273

And then, once Admyt launches at Canal Walk on Thursday 28th, you can have free parking…

…for THREE DAYS there on Friday, Saturday and Sunday with the promo codes below:

  • Free parking on Fri, 29 November | Promo code: CWBF29
  • Free parking on Sat, 30 November | Promo code: CWBF30
  • Free parking on Sun, 1 December | Promo code: CWBF01

So that’s no ticket to lose, no change to have to find to pay, no queues to brave on the way out when you’re exhausted and just want to go home, and that swanky VIP feeling as you drive to the barrier and it opens to wave you straight through.

The first three are really handy; the last one is still just very cool.

Sign up on the interwebs here (not forgetting that referral code: TRE162273), and then get the app on Apple here, or Google here.

The Gentlemen

We’ve just finished binging The Gentlemen on Netflix, and I’ve really enjoyed it. Those of you know me, know that I don’t do this sort of thing often or lightly, so this must have been good.

First, find a really good writer and an all-star cast, and then this far-fetched – but thoroughly absorbing – tale can begin.

The idea of a collision between the worlds of organised crime and the British aristocracy, the exploration of each of those places from the previously oblivious other side of the fence, and the bleeding of one into the other is an interesting watch: sometimes jarring, often humorous, but always entertaining.

Fair disclosure at the start here: the storyline is sometimes a bit silly, and often rather “convenient”, but you need to overlook that (and it’s really easy to do), because the cinematography, the music, the humour and the characters are just incredible. Larger than life, just enough backstory, living large in their own weird and horrific world parallel to ours, where illegality and violence are the norm, with just enough honour amongst thieves to make them occasionally seem like decent people.

And this guy…

An utterly compelling performance of a terrifying individual living in a bipolar world of simultaneous complete peace and horrific violence, yet seemingly only existing in perpetual tranquility. Dangerously unhinged, but outwardly so very calm and completely in control. The constant contradictions are so delicious.

Here’s the trailer [WARNING: STRONG LANGUAGE] The Gentlemen trailer – click through at your own risk. But it is so good. And so funny.

For the record, the nastiest violence is never on screen: always implied. The fight scenes etc aren’t pretty, but there’s nothing you couldn’t see the like of on your local sports channel most Saturdays.

6000 Recommends. Give it a go.

The (nerdy) sporting weekend

It’s amazing what can pique your interest, hey?

This weekend, I’ve enjoyed watching some really great sport. The football on Friday was great, but it was Sheffield United, so of course I would be interested, and they won, so of course it would be great.
But it was other events this weekend that made me remember that it takes something extra special to get you invested when you’ve got no skin in the game. And those sort of things are fairly rare.

Sure, there are artificial ways of generating interest, like a small bet on the outcome (thank you, Aston Villa) or a fantasy football match-up (curse you, Aston Villa), but when you are just watching because you enjoy the sport, and you’re not rooting for one side or the other, well, it needs to be wow! to generate that same sort of interest.

That’s happened twice for me this weekend.

This morning’s game in the Australian NRL Finals was a superb watch, with both sides giving it absolutely everything for the whole 80 minutes, and Manly winning only after a – literally – last second field goal attempt missed by a couple of metres. 50,714 in the stands, 26 on the pitch, probably hundreds of thousands in front of their TVs across Australia and the world holding their breath as Matt Burton launched the ball into the Sydney night air. I was in the gym and I had to stop cycling to give my full attention to that last play of the match. Because concentrating and pedaling is hard.
And then the instant juxtaposition of relief, jubilation, heartbreak and despair as my legs realised that they had to start exercising again the rugby result was set in stone.

But even that had nothing on the Geoguessr World Cup final. And I know that I keep banging on about this, but just so you know, I could have been doing something much, much, nerdier this weekend…

…and maybe I did.

But that’s for another blog post.

Because that final. Best of 5 games – or first to 3 if that’s your preference – and wow, did it deliver.

As a very basic introduction, players each start on 6000 points (I know, right?), and lose points the closer their opponent is to the correct location, and the further they are away. Ten 1 minute rounds per game.
When you run out of points, you lose the game.

I’ve just enjoyed watching stuff. I don’t mind who wins. I’m not invested. Yet.

The favourite, a French guy called Blinky, is already up 2-0 and cruising to a crushing victory, and comes within a whisker of wiping his opponent, America’s MK, out and winning the World Cup. Based on the fact they could have been dropped anywhere in the world (but ended up in Latvia), if Blinky had been just 5km closer to the actual spot or MK just 5km further away, it was all over.

Here’s the twenty minutes of madness that followed.

The score is 4035-46. No typos here. No missed digits. One guy is basically two games up and four thousand points clear. The other is on forty-six points. It’s nothing. It’s impossible to turn this around with just two rounds of the third game to go.

But obviously, he does. It’s an amazing comeback. But it’s still only 2-1.

And in the eighth round of the fourth game, Blinky has MK down to 66 points again. The event is being staged at the City Hall in Stockholm and there’s a crowd of a few hundred watching it live. And as they hit the tenth round, it was like that field goal attempt (which hadn’t happened yet, but still). Held breath. Wide eyes. And then just sheer incredulity as MK drags in back to 2-2 with a guess just 12km off in the middle of rural Mexico. Literally a horse in a river.

How?!?

This is now running almost an hour overtime, but nobody is going anywhere.

Final round. The decider. NMPZ. Just a single image of a place anywhere in the world.
No moving. No panning. No zooming. WYSIWYG. Where G is guess.

Round one. It’s rural. Literally nothing to go on. And yet they both immediately plump for Mexico: about 50km apart from one another.

But it’s Ghana. Everyone is confused. They players look at each other and both laugh. Even the best in the world get it horrifically wrong sometimes. And when that happens, they usually both get it horrifically wrong the same way.

The tension is broken for a moment.

Heads are shaken. They reset. We go again.

Round two. There’s a guy burning some leaves in a wooded area. That’s all you’ve got. Both players go for Thailand. It is Thailand. Of course it’s Thailand. You don’t get two Ghana anomalies in one game.

Round three. It’s a slightly overgrown path in the field. It’s Peru. Blinky is closer.

Round four. It’s a brown dirt road. Nothing more. They both go for Argentina within 4 seconds. They’re each about 50kms out.

I’ve completely given up on Bournemouth v Chelsea now.

Round five: It’s a road and a mountain in Turkey. Obviously, they both go Turkey. It takes them 7 seconds.
Mind blowing.

Round six: It’s a grey road and some trees. It’s in Russia, but Russia is big. They’re both a long way off.

Round seven and Blinky is holding a decent lead thanks to that Peru guess, but we’ve seen this all before in the last 20 minutes.
Another road. Some green grass. Both hit central Bulgaria inside 10 seconds. It is central Bulgaria.

Round eight, It’s north east USA. MK’s home turf. They’re both there in about 10 seconds again. Nothing to choose between their guesses. And we’ve got a maximum of two rounds left.

Nkunku scores and I hardly notice.

Round nine: As the crowd sees it, there are gasps. Because it’s a town, and there are French flags everywhere. Does Blinky recognise the place? He zones straight in on Colmar in Eastern France… MK goes further north, closer to Belgium. Aaaand…

It’s Germany (despite the flags) but it’s only just over the border. It’s enough. Blinky wins.

I am emotionally exhausted. God knows how they feel.

270,000 viewers online. That’s four times the figures for last year’s World Cup.

Maybe there will be a million in 2025*. Maybe I’ll be there in the finals**.

I almost feel sorry for Spurs and Arsenal today.
Because they are surely never going to get to that sort of drama.

Are they?


* very possible.
** not possible.

The Geoguessr World Cup is on…

…and while Geoguessr might not be your cup of tea, it really is like watching that niche sport at the Olympics, in that you really should give it a go, even if it’s just for a few minutes.

It’s all livestreamed on the Geoguessr Youtube Channel. Completely free of charge, with full expert commentary on the A-stream.

Some beautiful locations on show alongside some absolutely insane knowledge. Different matchups and game modes, including the dreaded NMPZ: No Moving, Panning or Zooming. This is basically just a static image from a random Google Maps location anywhere in the entire world and you can watch in amazement as they pinpoint it to within a few hundred metres.

Once you get invested… wow, it can get quite intense.

GO AND WATCH SOME OF IT!

But the best bit for me is that you can have a go yourself – not competing directly with the best of the best – but using your skill to see how close you would get to the eventual answer. And then playing the same sport and wishing that you knew which sort of telegraph pole that they use in the midlands of Sumatra*.

* I’m appalled to note that I do actually know this one.