This is simply amazing.
Michael Spicer reads from what he describes as “the worst printing disaster in newspaper history”.
Here’s the “script”, and I’m leaving it deliberately large so that you can read along with Michael, simply by clicking the link below.
And here, as promised, is the link below:
I feel that I may never grow tired of this.
Tagged by London blogger and member of the MEC (Mutual Enjoyment Club), Brian Micklethwait in a lighthouse post? I had better document that.
Brian shares a photo of a poster in a shop window; a poster featuring 12 Brittany Lighthouses, which I love, and which I have half-inched to share here:
Two things I noted about the poster (which I now want for my study wall). Firstly, the second lighthouse from the left is La Jument, a 48m high stone tower built in 1911, and apparently “The most famous lighthouse in the world”. Why the fame? Because of this famous (see?) photo by famous lighthouse photographer, Jean Guichard, which has sold over a million copies.
But you must ignore that motivational crap about looking fear in the face, because when the photograph was taken, the lighthouse keeper Théodore Malgorn (for it are he in the doorway) had no idea that the wave was coming, as this account testifies:
Malgorn, suddenly realising that a giant wave was about to engulf the structure, rushed back inside just in time to save his life. In an interview he said “If I had been a little further away from the door, I would not have made it back into the tower. And I would be dead today. You cannot play with the sea.”
The photograph – taken on the 21st December 1989 – won second place in the 1991 World Press Photo awards. (The winner was Guichard’s compatriot Georges Mérillon.)
Aaannd the other thing that interested me particularly about the post was the “coffee cup rings” over each of the towers. I don’t think that they are actual coffee cup rings – I’m hoping that they are examples of light characteristics – a representation of the sequence of flashes that differentiate and identify each lighthouse.
My theory is supported by the fact that La Jument (remember that? It’s famous, after all) has a light characteristic of Fl 3 R 15s that’s 3 flashes of a red light every 15 seconds. And look at its coffee cup ring:
Assuming that ring makes up a minute (and ignoring that awkward gap, top right) I can see three flashes 4 times there.
It’s this sort of technical detail which I love about posters like this. It makes it less of a picture and more of a document. And just as I know that my readers needed to know who won the 1991 World Press Photo awards, I know that you’ll want to know the full light characteristic for Cape Agulhas lighthouse. And that is: Fl W 5s 31m 30M – a white light flashing every 5 seconds, 31 metres above sea level and visible for 30 nautical miles. .
Other selected lighthouse light characteristics include (but are not limited to):
Slangkop: Fl 4 W 30s. 4 white flashes every 30 seconds.
Cape Point: Fl 3 W 30s. 3 white flashes every 30 seconds.
Green Point: Fl W 10s. White light flashing every 10 seconds.
Dreswick Point (IOM): Fl 2 W 30s. 2 white flashes every 30 seconds.
Lighthouses, eh? I’m a sucker for them.
Author’s note: I have a lot of stuff in my “this needs blogging” queue. Thanks to everyone for links and things of interest: I’m always chuffed when you think of sharing links you might find interesting. I fully intend to acknowledge people individually when I get around to actually posting things.
But…
In the meantime, we’re still looking for Vienna. That’s not good (another night on the mountain for scared dog, difficult times for emotionally-drained owner), but it is good (HELP FIND VIENNA FB group continues to exist), but it’s also not good (too many weirdos posting crap, so they’ve shut down comments).
Yesterday, Animal Communicator number 1 (AC1) had a vision, which we shared on here:
“Vienna is on tarmac or under a car”
Which the group leapt upon, and Animal Communicator 2 (AC2) augmented with the colour of the car:
Well, the latest news (just before the comments were turned off) was that there is now further detail on that white car that she is on or in or under. Here’s AC2 again:
Oh. A CA registration? That’s convenient and unhelpful, given that over 95% of the cars in Cape Town have a CA registration.
And a Golf? Great choice for a German dog. But what sort of Golf? A Citi Golf (that’s kinda a Mark 1 VW Golf to you guys overseas)? Or perhaps one of the later versions? And then, if we’re looking at something more recent, like a Mark 7, then it might help to know which model.
After all, if your vision shows a Golf, then surely you can see what sort it is. I mean, are we looking at the entry level 1.2 TSI BlueMotion or the 1.2 TSI BlueMotion with the 6-speed manual or 7-speed DSG gearbox? Perhaps it’s the 1.6 with the Triptronic power train? No? Maybe the 85 kW, 133 hp 1.0 TSI BlueMotion then? Or one of the 4 versions of the 1.4 TSI BlueMotion (probably the popular 6-speed manual, yeah?)? The distinctive 1.6 MSI (non turbo charged) is an unusual model and would surely assist with finding Vienna were she to be beneath it. But then what of the top end of the Golf market? The 1.8 TSI with a top speed of 209 kph is distinctive, but I very much doubt that a dachshund could match that sort of pace. Short legs, see?
Of course, were it a white Golf GTE, GTI or GTI (with Performance Package) or the R, then AC2 would have spotted the twin exhaust setup and would surely have mentioned it. So I think we can rule those out.
But wait. What about the more economical diesel engined models? These are easily distinguishable by the presence of a letter D in the model number. AC2 must have seen that, right? The 1.6 TDI BlueMotion, the 2.0 TDI or 2.0 TDI BlueMotion? Amazing economy and hugely questionable emission figures (as is the case with most VWs). But still one of the best places for small Teutonic canines to hide beneath (or in) (or on).
It can’t be a GTD though. No-one buys the GTD model. The manufacture of a vehicle with such a juxtaposition of economy and performance was a bewildering decision. You’re not going to find a white Golf GTD here or anywhere else. And when you don’t find it, you won’t find a lost dachshund underneath it either.
But I digress. Often.
Look, the lack of a description of the specific model of white golf by AC2 has left this wide open. To be honest, AC2 has actually been no help whatsoever.
Now, there’s a surprise.
The search for Vienna continues.
Here it is:
But no. That would be far too easy. This is a blog post about a different Vienna – a Vienna that is a sausage dog (I see what they did there), that has gone missing in the Table Mountain National Park.
Now, before we go any further, let me categorically state that I’m aware that some people have a very close bond with their pets, and I’m sure that this a very difficult time for Vienna’s owner. I sincerely hope that Vienna is found, safe and well, very soon. It would be wrong of me to ridicule her situation in any way.
However, it would also be remiss of me not to pass some sort of comment on some of the people who are active upon the HELP FIND VIENNA Facebook page that has been set up. Since I discovered it, this page has been my immediate goto site each time I have a moment to spare in the lab.
Some of them are a bit nuts.
The first thing that interested me when I stumbled across the page was this sort of posting:
I was impressed. And hopeful. If this missing dog has a camera around its neck, then just share the screenshots and someone will know where it is. This individual is right in requesting assistance if they don’t know the terrain, but someone will recognise it, so don’t just describe it – show us the image.
Except there is no image, because there is no camera. What’s being shared are descriptions of an “animal communicator” who has linked with the missing Vienna and is “assisting” by sharing “her visions”.
That’ll help.
“It sounds like [this place]” comments someone, “But it can’t be because you can see the sea from there.” Trouble with that is though, these are dog visions, not human visions.
Good point.
There’s also an issue with people not being allowed into private areas of the National Park. This was never an problem before, was it? Was it? Everything has been taken from us. When did this happen? And why can’t dachshunds climb fences? That’s a weakness that needs to be addressed. A bigger dog would be able to do that. Or a monkey. Or a human.
Yes, cape townians. How?
Incidentally, that same person was relying on that self-same security not so long ago:
Yeah. With a few thousand visiting vehicles each day, that’s in no way asking too much.
But help is even coming from overseas
I think the issue with this approach is “when you see her” bit. It’s not being able to “see her” that is the underlying problem here. If Jayne could “see her”, then none of this would be happening. I think that Turtle Creek, PA needs to review its search and rescue provision. They seem to have missed an important bit of the whole process.
No. It wasn’t.
Hindsight, ne? 20/20.
The most concerning bit for me though is the way people are being led by charlatans. Latest news is that the animal communicator has said that Vienna is on tarmac or under a car. This didn’t sound like a good ending to me, but then I realised that it’s all bullshit anyway. Suddenly, there’s a massive rush to look in car parks.
Not this car park, obviously, because that’s gravel, but could someone maybe check that car park, because that car park is tarmac, isn’t it?
People are wasting their valuable time and effort on this sort of crap. Go do something useful.
Like when someone on the page stated:
I had a dream that Vienna was limping.
and people immediately started speculating whether it was through tiredness or maybe a thorn in her paw.
It was a dream.
On that note, last night, I had a dream that I was reconcreting the floor of Fishhoek Yacht Club, but I’m not going down there this morning to cordon it off so that people don’t walk on it.
BECAUSE IT WAS A DREAM. NOT REALITY.
But wait.
BREAKING NEWS: there’s now a white car involved.
But is Vienna in the car? Or could there be an alternative explanation?
Ah. Yes. That fits nicely.
Kerching
I must go now, because real life. But I will be keeping an eye on the HFV group. Because it’s amazing.
If you have any information on Vienna, or feel that you may be able to help (hopefully more than that damn “animal communicator”), get in touch with the group on the link above.
I grabbed my trusty camera at the last minute and shot the space station as it passed over Cape Town yesterday evening.
Quickly adjusting the exposure time and f-stop on the manual exposure setting allowed me to capture this quick and dirty shot of it going over, but it was only upon reviewing the images later that I realised that a little tweaking of the white balance (which had been set to “Tungsten” for this image) may have been advisable.
I’m such a pro.
It wasn’t a Blue Sunday really. And – aside from the sky – today isn’t really a Blue Monday either.