statue

Incoming from our Northern Irish News With Tenuous Links To The Isle Of Man Department – someone has disappeared off with a 6ft statue of Celtic sea god Manannan Mac Lir which overlooks… er… overlooked Lough Foyle in Derry:

Installed in 2013, the life-size statue is made from fibreglass and stainless steel and had become a popular tourist attraction.
Local police issued a not-entirely-serious missing persons report, asking people to watch out for ‘a well-known six foot tall striking local male with an athletic build’.

Here’s what they’re looking for:

But why would someone steal this statue?

The thieves left a wooden cross on the site bearing the words: ‘You shall have no other gods before me’, fuelling speculation that the unusual crime was motivated by religion.

Well, now suddenly you can see why this might have happened. Those words “You shall have no other gods before me” can be found in the Bible as Exodus 20:3 and form one of the Ten Commandments – the instant go-to guide for good Christian behaviour.

Celtic sea gods don’t feature highly in the Bible, and therefore are a definite no-no as far as sculptures in Christian territories go. And heaven knows (can I say that?) that we don’t want to upset anyone along religious grounds.

So all perfectly reasonable then, until you read a little further through Exodus…

“But… but… we’d only got to verse 3!”
“Shut up and get on with your self-flagellation!”

…because coming in at number 7 (or number 8 if you’re a Catholic – but who’s counting anyway?) is that old chestnut:

Thou shalt not steal

Oops. Hashtag awkward.

Presumably, when the police do come knocking on their door, the thieving bastards will come clean and admit what they’ve done, although the bit about ‘not bearing false witness’ comes even further down the list than the ‘don’t nick stuff’ idea.

Because Northern Ireland falls under the UK justice system, if convicted, it’s unlikely that the vandals will be able to claim religious grounds in mitigation of sentence.

That said, if you really believe that you have to steal a 2 metre high, topless fibreglass statue of a mythical bloke because of some words in a book, then there’s always the Criminal Law (Insanity) Act of 2006 to fall back on.

Well, not to a lot of people as our future President anymore, since fraud and corruption charges were re-instated against him yesterday, following the National Prosecuting Authority’s successful appeal against Zuma’s previous appeal to get the charges against him dropped was overturned.

It remains to be seen whether, having considered the NPA’s successful appeal against Zuma’s successful appeal against the NPA, whether Zuma will now appeal (possibly successfully) against the NPA’s successful appeal which overturned Zuma’s previously successful appeal against the NPA. If he were to successfully appeal, it seems likely that the NPA would appeal that decision. Well, why not?

It’s pure comedy, isn’t it? And add to that the improbable names of Zuma’s lawyer, Kemp J Kemp, and the NPA’s spokesman Tlali Tlali (which isn’t pronounced like you think it should be) and it gets even sillier.

Many, including FF+ leader Pieter Mulder, are now calling for charges against Zuma to be dropped and some sort of “agreement” to be reached. (I wonder where he got that idea from?)
One only has to look at the effect yesterday’s judgment had on the exchange rates to see that this case has much wider-reaching implications than the freedom (or otherwise) of our dear Msholozi. It’s harming the country and something needs to be done to halt the damage before it’s too late.
For many people, the ideal solution would be JZ stepping down as the ANC leader and presidential candidate before the election in Autumn. That’s not going to happen though. Too many people stand to gain too much to allow something as trivial as fraud and corruption charges and the wreckage of what was once South Africa’s shining reputation to get in the way.

And so, it comes down to a settlement to allow the charges to be waylaid or put aside or dropped or something. Safety first. It’s a wholly unsatisfactory way of doing things, yes, but it might just save the country. Or it might not. Thank goodness I don’t have to make these sort of decisions and have people like Julius Malema to do it for me.

In other more important news, that statue mystery turned out to be some artist wanting to “mix art and nature”. Boring.

Although I will in future follow the correct procedure and obtain permission from the relevant organisations, I will continue to place sculptures in different locations in South Africa and abroad to raise awareness and provoke debate.

Yeah – whatever. Now go and get a proper job.

And, in a poke in the eye for Victorian maritime engineering, Port St Mary lighthouse has been washed away by a big wave.

A combination of a high tide and strong winds over night dealt a fatal blow to the 19th Century light that has been there since the breakwater was built, between 1882 and 1886.

I could sit here by the fireside and relate a myriad of tales from my childhood, many of which would be about that lighthouse. But that would be rather dull for you and a lot of them would be made up anyway. So I won’t.

Tag: statue

Religious nutjobs steal God

Is Zuma appealing?