Day 574 – The hospital

As mentioned, yesterday’s appointment went well. But it would be remiss of me not to comment on the place where it occurred. It was my first visit to Rondebosch Medical Centre, and while it was a generally positive experience, the actual place was actually rather unsettling.

The ground floor is occupied by a petrol station. Bit weird.

The public parking was on the roof, and was a real adventure to get to. Tight turns and no set plan for any floor of the parking lot kept me guessing and (once) having to reverse and try again. And then, once arriving there, half of the roof was being used as a construction site.

The view was pretty good, though:

The car park set the tone for the building, which was poorly lit, full of narrow corridors and tight corners, and seemingly also all under construction. Like an 80s office block suffering from sick building syndrome that had been hastily and desperately converted for another use.
Like a private hospital.

But just because the building is awful, that’s not to say that the service wasn’t good. It was.
It was just that it was all housed in a really horrible place.

Day 110, extra – The toddler who cannot talk

This is an incredible (as in, literally not credible) story from the UAE.
Please take the time to read it.

 

When his widowed mother died during childbirth, there was never any question that the team at Dubai’s Al-Shabbas Private Hospital would take care of little Ata. In this strange, overwhelming, futuristic city, sometimes the personal touch can be forgotten, and the staff at Al-Shabbas probably knew that without their shared care, baby Ata – his name means ‘Gift from Allah’ – might fall through the cracks in the UAE’s social service system.

It’s been a strange life for Ata, now almost three years old. He has many mothers and fathers in the hospital and has become a favourite with staff and patients alike. He lives, plays, learns and sleeps in the hospital unit in which he was born and which he has never left. The staff – from the porters and cleaners, through to some of the most celebrated consultants in the world – are each happy to take time out from their daily schedule to do their bit to look after Ata: whether it’s sitting with him during breakfast or lunch in the hospital canteen, or reading him a bedtime story before he settles down to sleep in the on-call bunk room that has become his home.

“He’s our child – all of us are his parents,” says Australian Ward Clerk Sandy Johnson, her voice slightly muffled behind her surgical mask. “He’s got an international family!”

Indeed, an astonishing total of 18 different nationalities currently work in the unit that Ata calls home, and all of them have their own story to tell about the little boy.

One could argue that such an unusual upbringing might be detrimental to a child, but Ata seems to relish being cared for by so many individuals. In fact, you would never know that he doesn’t live the normal life of a three year old were it not for one striking feature: he cannot talk.

Despite being just two weeks away from his third birthday, Ata can only communicate via various basic vowel sounds and some form of rudimentary sign language. It’s worth noting that it doesn’t seem to affect his happiness at all, but despite months of speech therapy (on the house – this is a hospital community, after all!), he cannot utter a single word.

“At first, we thought it was maybe because he was experiencing many different mother tongues,” comments Registrar, Dr Iqbal Ahmed. “But that wouldn’t explain why he literally can’t make the sounds that make up the words of any language. It was only recently that we worked out what the actual problem was: our masks. Ata’s speech is handicapped because he almost never sees a mouth due to everyone wearing a mask, and can’t look at the lips moving. I’m surprised more people working at this Dubai hospital haven’t told their friends overseas about this.”

“It’s the same reason that visually impaired people can’t talk,” explains Speech Therapist Noora Koram, plainly ignoring reality. “When we are learning how to speak, we look at the lips of the person speaking and we make the same shape with our lips and that’s how we learn to talk. Ata can’t see any lips because of his weird upbringing in a hospital, where everyone wears masks all the time and never ever takes them off, even when eating, so he never sees their mouth and their lips moving and so he can’t speak. I don’t think he’ll ever learn to whistle either. Or play the clarinet.”

Sandy Johnson agrees: “Yeah, it’s definitely the mask thing. Well, either that or he doesn’t actually have any lips either. We don’t know because he wears a mask all the time too. Everyone wears masks here all the time because it’s a hospital and that’s what people do in a hospital, even when they’re raising a fictional child in a fantasy parenting collective situation.”

“To be honest, I’m not sure if Ata even knows that humans have mouths,” says Koram. “He’s never ever been outside the hospital unit and so everyone he’s ever met has been wearing a mask. Always. We’re not even really sure how he learned to eat, because you use your mouth for that as well and it’s really hard to do that when you’re wearing a mask. Which we all do. All the time. It might actually be terrifying for him to ever see a full human face when all he knows is two eyes and a rectangle of blue pleated paper below them.”

“With hindsight, it might have been better if he had grown up in a regular family environment,” admits Consultant Gynaecologist, Professor Jennifer Hammond. “But it’s too late for that now. Because of the strict government guidelines all over the world, even regular families wear masks all day and night now, and they’re not even living in hospitals where we also wear masks all the time. Twenty-four seven. I’d imagine that we will see many more children whose speech is handicapped because they almost never see a mouth due to everyone wearing a mask, and can’t look at the lips moving. Of course, those children also never watch TV or watch videos on the internet or live in the real world, because otherwise this would be less of a problem. But almost never seeing a mouth due to everyone wearing a mask is going to be a real issue in our near future. I’m even concerned that I will forget what a mouth looks like and lose the ability to talk, due to everyone wearing a mask.”

It’s a frightening prospect, but as I leave Professor Hammond’s office, there is Ata in the corridor outside: carefree and happy – a smile in his eyes (and possibly lower down his face as well – I can’t see), and just for a moment the world seems a better place. I give him a grin – which he can’t see either – and bid him farewell.

Ata grunts contentedly and goes back to playing with his teddy bear, which I can’t help but notice, also has a mask on.

As we all do. All the time.

 

For a full explanation, click here.

So gone

Hey, Surgical Ward at the local hospital.

Thanks for being there when I needed you. I really wasn’t expecting to drop in this week, but these things happen, and you and your staff have been nothing short of amazing.

In fact, the care has been so good that I’ve been told that can go home today.

If I promise to be good when I get there.

You know me. I’m always good.

So it’s goodbye for now.
And thanks again for fixing me.

An intervention

Things weren’t going well with my knee, to the point where it was actually in danger of causing some permanent damage.

I’ve just woken up from a second, reasonably comfortable night in hospital and things are much less swollen than yesterday. Now I’m waiting for the call on whether I’ll be allowed to go home today. It seems unlikely, but a collective decision (doc, me, Mrs 6000, physio etc) will be made. It all seems rather dramatic and over the top to be honest, but they’re (quite reasonably) not willing for there to be more problems and another return visit.

Bandages are off, drain out, wounds looking good, drip out soon. The signs are good.

So, today will be another dull day of waking up super early [ticks box], hearing weird ward noises [ticks box], popping the cricket on and dozing [soon].

I promise you that it sounds much better than it actually will be. Additionally, I was unable to sort out my music issue before my surprise admission here, so I’m rather limited on the front as well. Grr.

Bit depressing, bit annoying, but fingers crossed that this is a new beginning.

Onward and upward.

(Just once I’m out of bedward.)

Theatresports

As this post publishes itself (via the magic of WordPress), I will – if all is going according to plan – be lying on a bed in an operating theatre in a hospital deep in the Southern Suburbs (no, not that one – I want a decent chance of survival) with a highly accomplished and highly expensive surgeon delving inside me like they do on Grey’s Anatomy.
I’m not particularly looking forward to this. My last “proper” op was when I was 7.
The aim of this one from my point of view is twofold: it will hopefully sort out the medical issues I have had recently and it will give me a chance to flirt with the nurses on the recovery ward.
In addition, I’ll be handily placed for the local A&E department when my wife reads this.

Pre-posting this is a bit of a risk: previous pre-posts about big events backfired spectacularly. I can only hope that that incident was a one-off. I can’t afford similar disasters with today’s operation.
Although the thought has occurred to me that it would be unlikely to be cancelled because of heavy snowfall.

Anyway, I digress. Often. And this time it’s probably because of pre-op nerves. See, much like when one reads a newspaper story about an event that one witnessed and one  realises just how inaccurate the papers are, so it is with being a patient in a hospital when one has, for much of one’s life, worked in and around the medical profession. That smooth veneer of cleanliness, knowledge, professionalism and caring that you see as an outsider actually often covers a multitude of sins. I would prefer to be ignorant of these things for the next few days.
Indeed, the run up to this op has been plagued by poor service, misdiagnoses and ineptitude at virtually every step. It doesn’t fill me with confidence.

Still, it should all be plain sailing as long as the bloke with the knife has had his morning coffee (maybe the pre-op nil-by-mouth thing goes for surgeons as well).

All being well (but most especially me) I should be back blogging “soon”.
Maybe  even sooner than that if I manage a couple more pre-posts before Thursday today.
You’ll never know the difference.