This offer looked good from a distance, but it was actually really frustrating…
…because I only needed one.
So annoying.
Annoying offer
Beer prices
Despite the danger from wild animals around every corner (and on every golf green), South Africa is still a really popular tourist destination. Decent weather (T&Cs apply), loads of varied stuff to do, a single flight from and a very small time difference from a lot of Europe, and THAT EXCHANGE RATE.
It’s pretty rubbish for us living here, but the ever-weaking Rand makes SA deliciously attractive to tourists. Follow anyone who has come here (on social media, not like stalking them), and you’ll hear them wax lyrical about the service, the wine, the scenery, the wildlife, the people, the food and the prices.
I can’t believe that we got all of this – including drinks – for less than fifty quid
is a regular line at the end of every 4 course meal shared on the TikkityTok. And if you’ve ever been to the UK, you’ll understand exactly why that seems amazing.
And then I saw this:
I did some rudimentary calculations and worked out that at an average of about R40 (this is not Fireman’s, Forries or the Waterfront, obvs!), we’re sitting at about the €1.98 of Hungary for a 500ml Castle Lite or a Black Label. Sure, that may not be your tipple of choice, but this isn’t just about you, and if you’re going to want to drink something “Crapft”, then sure, things can get silly quite quickly.
But this is about the average price for 0.5 litre domestic draught beer in restaurants.
Like it says on the map.
And that shows just how cheap this place is when you’re coming from somewhere that’s yellow, orange or red. It also demonstrates that needs to be more than just cheap beer prices to take into consideration when choosing a holiday destination. Because Ukraine looks very inviting on this map.
But… well… you know…
I remember going to Czechoslovakia (when it was just still Czechoslovakia) and buying a bottle of beer for the equivalent of 2 English pence. I thought they’d misrepresented the price or I’d mis-converted it, and it should have been two pounds (which would have been very expensive for someone from the North of the England in those days), or maybe 20 pence (ridiculously reasonable).
It turned out that I just needed to move my decimal point along again. Amazing.
Looking back, I demonstrated some incredible – and some might say, foolish – self control on that trip.
Beer has gone up a lot more in the ex-Czechoslovakia in the last thirty years than it has in the UK.
And it’s definitely more expensive here since I arrived as well, but then isn’t everything? But like I say, if you’re coming out to Cape Town from London, then you’re probably going to think that they’ve undercharged you for your beer.
Still, the “cheap” beer is also a good thing for us locals. It’s just a shame that these days we can’t afford anything nice to eat with it.
Suddenly: Lions
Look, we live in South Africa, and while at least some of the rest of the world [waves to the USA] think that wild animals roam the streets, it’s not quite like that. Well, not every day, at least.
Outside the cities, you certainly might come across ostriches on your drive, and if you’re near certain bodies of water at night, there’s always the chance of a notoriously unreflective hippo.
More likely is that you’ll hit one of the big buck though: and that Kudu a lot of damage to your car: a bull can weigh 300kg.
Sadly, it rarely ends well for the Kudu, either. But thankfully, these events are fairly uncommon in the greater scheme of things.
Even less common are encounters with lions.
Well, that is until recently. Because suddenly, there seems to be a lot of lion in the mainstream media.
Please note that if you’re reading this out loud for the benefit of someone else, you’ll need to clarify that I mean the big cat, not a lack of truthfulness. That wouldn’t be unusual at all.
Here are three very recent examples. Happily all up North, a long way from here.
There was a lion… ahem… lyin’… on the M18 between Pretoria and Centurion last night:
The original image was posted on X, and as the Citizen says:
A reverse image search on Google revealed similar photos of lions spotted in the Kruger National Park.
Well, yes. Similar, because that’s what lions look like, but actually not the same.
So was this claim genuine? No-one seems completely sure.
The truth is out there. And maybe there’s a lion as well.
More concrete evidence was provided by Skukuza Golf Course:
Guests at the Skukuza Golf Club, famously dubbed South Africa’s wildest golf course, recently witnessed an extraordinary scene when a group of predators converged on the final green to share an impala kill.
In a rare sighting that perfectly illustrates the untamed nature of the course, two lions, a crocodile, and a pack of hyenas took turns feasting on the kill just metres from the clubhouse.
And the video, although portrait and a bit blurry, is incredible:
The “You must have signed the indemnity form to pass this point” sign in the foreground is particularly amusing, given the range of dangerous carnivores tearing apart the unfortunate impala.
These magnificent beasts are supposedly apex predators, but they are no match for a Toyota Land Cruiser. This incident occurred in Kruger National Park, which you can drive through in your own vehicle (I recently found out that this is bewildering to foreigners). And you can get really, really close to the really wild animals. But when there is a good sighting, word spreads fast and it can get a bit busy.
Patience is key. Don’t be like this guy. Don’t get this close.
No damage done here apart from to the driver’s bank balance once the Rangers got a look at this video.
KNP spokesperson, Ike Phaahla, confirmed that the driver was fined.
“We dealt with him by tracing the number plate.”
Good plan. I would have started by looking for traces of lion fur on the front corner of every white Toyota in South Africa. But your way is probably better. I guess that’s why they pay you the big bucks.
“All we know is that he was trying to make a way at the sighting when he bumped the animal,” Phaahla explained. He added that while he was unsure of the amount the driver was fined, the maximum fine is R1,500.
A slap on the wrist for a bump up the arse.
We naturally crow about our amazing wildlife in SA, but I have no clue why there has been a sudden plethora of lion stories in the local press.
Still, it’s good that we take pride in sharing the stories about these big cats when we encounter them.
Draft Night 2024
You may remember other draft night posts here, here, here and here.
And this year was a rather low key affair, given that 40% of the participants were on other continents (in 4 different time zones and with a total time difference spanning 19 whole Chilean hours), and 33% of the remaining participants were out of town. Add in some late working and a dental appointment straight from Hades itself, and suddenly, we were – quite literally – all over the place.
Still, the joint magic of football and technology pulled us all together in some shape and form, and it was 2 hours of good fun: a degree of silliness, some catching up, and equal amounts of ridicule and admiration of each other’s choices.
We’re playing Fantrax again this year, and – should you be interested – you can have a look at the selections that were made here. Do let me know who’s going to win the league, please.
After an uncomfortable night (the dentist one was me, see?), this morning started early with pool issues. One of the pipes on the cleaner had broken, and thus, I had to plunge – elbow-deep, nogal* – into the icy waters. I’m the only one that ever does these jobs. There was some posh chick floating around on an old door, but she said that there wasn’t room for both of us on there, and so I had to manage by myself.
It’s now mid-afternoon and I’m still shivering.
And, in an infrastructure maintenance follow-up, the solar people came to fix the solar. Nothing major, although it could have been. Just some loose bits after those winds on the weekend. The guys brought down a chunky bracket – 750g of premium aluminium – which had been twisted like the rules when a Big 6 club is playing. That’s been replaced now, and another couple of them added for good measure, but it does seem like we got away with one during the storms.
This afternoon: horseriding (not me), and this evening, football (me). Both of which events which have no occurred in quite a while, mainly (if not entirely) due to various reasons.
A busy day. Hence this blog post going out now.
* thankfully starting at my hand.
Olympics
It’s all over and some people are struggling a little.
Needs more punctuation, sure. But I feel her pain. It’s a bit weird to not have some sort of minority sport on in the background while you’re working. And we’ve got another 18 months before we can do that again, albeit with curling and speedskating.
And let no-one say that GB didn’t do its bit to help out:
They say that there is bad blood between the UK and their neighbours across the Channel, but we’ve clearly gone out of our way to assist by reenacting this year’s Gilets Jaunes protests in their hour fortnight of need. Although, it’s only August, so still plenty of time for a French uprising to finish the summer off.
And let no-one say that Yorkshire didn’t do its bit as well:
God’s Own Country chipping in with almost as many gold medals as all the other bits of GB put together. A small disclaimer that this version of the medal table was put together by the good folks at… er… BBC Yorkshire.
But I’m sure it’s accurate. And 14th leaves us ahead of some very big countries. And Ireland.
I’m guessing that this will be the last post here on the Olympics – at least for a while. Because I can’t help but think that the whole Raygun saga is far from over, and might still come back to bite someone (possibly me) in the arse.