Category: this is south africa

Viral pun

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Our petrol prices in SA are regulated, meaning that everyone knows exactly what they will pay for a litre of the good stuff. And each first Wednesday of the month, the price goes up or down, depending if there has been an under or over recovery in the previous 4 weeks, given the price of oil and the USD/ZAR exchange rate.

Brent crude has climbed from about $69 to over $115 a barrel, while the rand has weakened sharply against the US dollar, slipping from around R15.85 to above R17.00.

It’s going to go up this month. Surprise, surprise.

It’s going to go up by a lot.

As it stands, and assuming there is no last-minute government intervention, month-end data from the Central Energy Fund is pointing to petrol price increases of between R5.31 for 93 Unleaded and R5.82 for 95 Unleaded. Diesel looks set to increase by between R10.13 in the case of 500ppm and R10.27 for the cleaner 50ppm.

A R10.27 increase for diesel is quite literally (in fact, almost exactly) 50%. I didn’t need diesel today, but I went and bought some anyway, because tomorrow will be a disaster at the fuel stations, and 50% of not very much is still quite a lot. I saved R360 by topping up this morning. That’s the price of 12 litres of Castle Milk Stout.

Priorities, ne?

“Fortunately”, President Ramaphosa is on the case.
(The war has only been going on for a month and a bit.)

He confirmed that a ministerial task team has now been established to examine how the country can be shielded from the economic fallout of the war.

It can’t. We’re part of a global economy. We’re all buggered.

It has been reported that the task team’s work will go beyond fuel price alone. “It is quite urgent, yes, with a quick turnaround, but the scope of what they will be looking into is broader,” one insider said.

“They are not just looking at fuel prices; they are tasked with looking at the whole geopolitical situation and its implications for the country.”

OK, but can’t we just do the fuel price thing first so that there is a country left for there to be implications for? Because I think that the whole situation is going to head south (no pun intended) very quickly if we can’t sort just about the only thing that the government has control over, somewhat rapidly.

Meanwhile, I guess it’s time to start walking again.

Everywhere.

No votes

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Politicians, eh? Poorly regarded, often duplicitous, generally loathsome individuals.

But even in the cesspit of politics, some are definitely much more punchable than others.

Top of that list, standing tall above all the others (metaphorically at least, he’s apparently only 5’3″, even in his big shoes) is one Mehmet Vefa Dag, the Turkish-born leader of the Truth and Solidarity Movement Party. If you look him up, you’ll find that he’s known for his “controversial” and “outspoken” views. Basically “controversial” and “outspoken” here means the never-ending stream of anti-Semitic and homophobic nonsense and make-believe bullshit that constantly spews from his foul mouth.

Last year, the Western Cape High Court found him in contempt of court for failing to stop publishing defamatory content regarding Curro Holdings, leading to a 90-day prison sentence. In response, Dag described himself on social media as a “political prisoner”, “the new Mandela,” and “the real president of South Africa.”

“South Africa has now started to play with stones,” he ranted on X. “You will not be able to prevent this by throwing me in prison. Now, thieves should truly fear the Truth and Solidarity Movement.”

Lol. Ok, sweetheart.

He’s been particularly vocal over the last couple of weeks, probably because he was standing in the Dunoon by-election in the Cape Town municipality on Wednesday. There he was on site last weekend, handing out free food and drink – something that a lot of people do in townships out of the goodness of their hearts, rather than to buy votes – under the banner “Stop Hunger. Stop Starvation in Dunoon.”

The election was on Wednesday, with 7 parties contesting for the seat. So, did he win?

Well, no. To be fair, the ANC held the ward, albeit that the EFF and DA in second and third will be happy enough with their improved performances in this ANC stronghold.

But there, right behind the Big Three was… er… not Mehmet Dag, but the SA Communist Party.

However, in fifth place – no mean feat for… I’m sorry? Ah. No. That wasn’t him either. Fifth was the African Transformation Movement (ATM), formed with the backing of the South African Council of Messianic Churches in Christ (SACMCC). Cheating a bit with God on their side, but not even He could pull ahead of the Commies.

Sixth, then?

Nope. In a radical, angry, poverty-stricken, 90% black African township, the Organic Humanity Movement, running on their “Guiding Principles” of:

Liberty
Protection of Life
Respect for the Earth
Self-Reliance
Continuous Progress, and
National Sovereignty

managed a whole 7 votes.

And that was still 7 more than Mehmet.

Seriously:

Not a single vote. Zero. Zilch. Nada. Dololo.

Absolutely hilarious.
Absolutely delicious.

It quite literally couldn’t have happened to a more disgusting person.

Mehmet took a couple of days off social media to lick his wounds, but he’s back today, shouting about his party’s NATIONAL SHUTDOWN DAY on Wednesday 15th April*:

The movement, led by President Mehmet Vefa Dag, is organizing this action as a protest against the current administration and President Cyril Ramaphosa.

What? The ANC administration that got [checks numbers] 2,363 more votes than you did last week?

Ok.

Obviously, I can imagine that the entire country will be brought to its collective knees by this action. Make sure you stock up on food and essentials, because there surely won’t be a shop open anywhere in South Africa.

Unless, of course, everyone ignores Mehmet again, like they did last Wednesday.

Isn’t it weird when some people just won’t take a hint?

I guess that South Africa just has to keep on hinting.

.

* Incidentally, more important things which will also be happening on Wednesday 15th April include:

National Banana Day A – get creative in the kitchen and enjoy what monkeys have known all along: the banana is a fabulous food!
National Glazed Spiral Ham Day – offering an ideal opportunity for individuals, families and groups to show their appreciation for and celebrate this delicious food.
Titanic Remembrance Day – commemorating the 112th anniversary of the passenger liner sinking like the hopes of a shitty political party.

Smalltown Boy

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No. Not the 1984 song with the iconic keyboard riff.
But don’t let that put you off reading some more of this post.

I mentioned the other day that I’m a bit all over the place over the next few weeks. But it’s suddenly come to my attention that I’m doing a bit of a tour of a few (or more) Western Cape small towns over the next month.

Tulbagh – named after Governor Ryk Tulbagh, and famed for its 1969 6.3MW earthquake – is the first. Actually, I’m going to be just outside the town, which might mean that I’m less at risk from any potential seismological activity. I don’t know. I’m not exactly sure how these things work.

But after that shaky start (lol!), we’re off to Swellendam and then Caledon.

Swellendam – named after Governor Hendrik Swellengrebel (crazy name, crazy guy) – is the third oldest town in South Africa, after Cape Town and Stellenbosch. If you look at a map, you can tell how the first European settlers were heading north and east (mainly because there really wasn’t anything south and west), and – following a somewhat chequered history – Swellendam became quite an important town for trade in the booming Overberg region during the British colonial ear of the early 1800s. Nowadays it’s really just another town on the N2, and honestly, there’s nicer coffee in Riviersonderend.

Caledon – named after Governor Du Pré Alexander, 2nd Earl of Caledon – is just an overnight stop for us in a couple of weeks time. An early morning appointment in the town means that it makes sense to wake up there, and so a nice Lekkeslaap place (no, not this one), on a nearby farm seems just the job. Caledon is also on the N2, and is also bettered for coffee by the place in Riviersonderend (which we’ll definitely call into on the way there).

And then a long weekend in near Villiersdorp. Villiersdorp isn’t on the N2, and isn’t named after a Governor. It is named after a bloke though: Field Cornet Pieter de Villiers, a local farmer who founded the settlement in 1843. A central area for agricultural packhouses, it’s also next door to Theewaterskloof Dam – the largest of the dams supplying water to Cape Town – see here and here.

Thankfully for the 12,438 residents, we’re staying a few kilometres outside the town centre.

Safety first. For all concerned.

Anyway, the first trip kicks off today.
And who knows what other towns we might visit during the upcoming month?

Watch this space for updates and photos.

Es-Cape Town Room

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Lovely family morning out testing ourselves against a local escape room.

And winning, obviously.

And then, a quick wander around the shops before lunch on the Waterfront.

I’m not sure what difference the issues in Dubai and Doha have made to the number of visitors getting over here. Cape Town isn’t quite as busy as it was 6 weeks ago, but it’s still very full of tourists, with Germans and Brits around every corner.

But this was the V&A: their natural haunt. And so what did we expect? And their Euros and Pounds are always welcome in the local economy.

Please keep spending.