Category: learning curve

Let’s Be Clear On Crayfish

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The SA DAFF has announced the new WCRL TAC and there’s something in there for all of us. Here’s the full press release if you want it, but for a summary, you just have to read on. Simples.

Area Catch Period Nearshore and Interim Relief Measure Offshore Super-area 1+2 16 November 2016 – 30 April 2017 Super-area 3+4 16 November 2016 – 30 June 2017 16 November 2016 – 30 June 2017 Super-area 5+6 16 November 2016 – 30 June 2017 Super-area 7 16 November 2016 – 30 June 2017 (Interim Relief Measure only) 16 November 2016 – 30 June 2017 Areas 8 and 11 16 November 2016 – 30 June 2017 16 November 2016 – 30 June 2017 Area 8 (Deep water) 1 July 2017 – 30 September 2017 Areas 12, 13 and 14 16 November 2016 – 30 June 2017

The 2016/17 west coast rock lobster recreational fishing season will open on Saturday, 26 November 2016 and will close on Monday, 17 April 2017. The 2016/17 WCRL recreational fishing effort will be restricted to 21 days and will be split as follows: • Fishing allowed from 26 November 2016 to 27 November 2016 (2 days) • No fishing allowed from 28 November 2016 until 9 December 2016 • Fishing allowed from 10 December 2016 to 11 December 2016 (2 days) • No fishing allowed from 12 December 2016 until 15 December 2016 • Fishing allowed from 16 December 2016 to 18 December 2016 (3 days) • No fishing allowed from 19 December 2016 until 23 December 2016 • Fishing allowed from 24 December 2016 to 27 December 2016 (4 days) • No fishing allowed from 28 December 2016 until 30 December 2016 • Fishing allowed from 31 December 2016 to 2 January 2017 (3 days) • No fishing allowed from 3 January 2017 until 6 January 2017 • Fishing allowed from 7 April 2017 to 8 January 2017 (2 days) • No fishing allowed from 9 January 2017 until 13 January 2017 • Fishing allowed from 14 January 2017 to 15 January 2017 (2 days) • No fishing allowed from 16 January 2017 until 14 April 2017 • Fishing allowed from 15 April 2017 to 17 April 2017 (3 days)

Updated catch-per-unit-effort (CPUE) and Fisheries Independent Monitoring Surveys (FIMS) indicated that Super-area 7, which has been managed under Exceptional Circumstances for the previous two seasons, has returned to a threshold that is above Exceptional Circumstances. For the 2016/17 west coast rock lobster fishing season, Super-area 7 (Dassen Island), the area between a line in the north (270° true bearing) drawn from the co-ordinate 33°15’00”S and 18°07’00”E in respect of Zone C and as a southern boundary the northern beacon MB 1 of the rock lobster sanctuary at Melkbos Point, will be opened for fishing for the Commercial (Offshore), Small-scale (Interim Relief Measure) and Recreational fishing sectors.

Well, there we go. Great news on Super-area 7.
And I think it’s all completely clear now.

Happy crayfishing!

This question…

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I love this. That whiney, age-old “Why didn’t they teach us anything useful at school?” question, answered in cartoon form.

algebra

Indeed, honesty can often hurt. I never asked this sort of question, but then maybe I was just one of the smart kids.

I suck at all the practical stuff we could have been taught instead though.
There’s a lesson there somewhere (and it’s not a maths lesson).

Tug

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People who know me in real life (as opposed to those who merely choose to follow the infamous internet personality and all-round shining wit that writes this stuff) may have seen this image over the weekend.

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Whereby we attended a sandy Strandlopery place on Struisbaai beach after a walk along the shore (strandloping), and enjoyed some of their Moar Koffie.

But, because I’m sad like that, I found myself wondering if the decorative lifebelt was just that (decorative, I mean; I know it was a lifebelt) or whether there was actually a boat called the F.T. Bates.

Those beagle-eyed readers who have glanced slightly further down the page may already have guessed the answer to this one.

It’s a yes.

ftbatesAnd look there on the front of the forecastle. Lifebelts.
The J.T Bates was a deep-water salvage tug built on the Clyde in 1950 and operating in and around Cape Town from 1950 until 1980. From there, she moved to Durban for a few years, but was scrapped there in 1983. The lifeboat from the tug (seen next to the funnel above) is now on display in the Port Natal Maritime Museum in Durban.

A pencil sketch to illustrate what the F.T. Bates might have looked like if it was hypothetically being repaired in Port Elizabeth in the late 1970s

The tug was named for the F.T. Bates who was “the senior member of the Union Government of South Africa. (Railways & Harbour Administration)  Railway Board” in the mid to late 1940s.

One of the major moments in the history of the J.T. Bates was in the S.S. Seafarer wreck:

As the engine-room began to flood the engines were shut down for fear of an explosion and Capt Branch realised that the ship was in grave danger. Every wave that broke over the SA.Seafarer pushed her further and further onto the reef. Hurriedly, but calmly, the passengers and crew gathered in the lounge while they awaited instructions from the master. By this time it was obvious that there was no chance of saving the vessel. The first message from the ship was one of urgency: “Please take off passengers and crew as soon as possible”. Rescue operations from the shore were immediately set into motion. The tugs F.T. Bates and C.G. White left Duncan Dock and manoeuvred into position outside the breakers off Green Point in order to render whatever assistance possible.

Obviously, there was very little (actually nothing) that the tugs could do on that night. In fact, it’s 33 years since the F.T. Bates has done anything.

But its name lives on through a lifebelt on a beach bar in Struisbaai.

Air kiss your dog

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Do you have a dog? Of course you do. Or perhaps you don’t.
Either way, there’s good evidence that allowing your dog to lick you (this is apparently the dog version of a kiss) could lead to all sorts of nasty stuff happening to you.

It may seem like a harmless display of affection, but allowing your pet to ‘kiss’ you could be dangerous – or even fatal.

So states the Guardian in their article, entitled:

Should I let my dog lick my face?

And the easy answer seems to be “no”, unless you want to play with Clostridium spp, E.coli and Campylobacter spp. Or Pasteurella multocida, a regular part of your dog’s normal mouth flora, which was:

… blamed for meningitis in 42 infants in France under the age of four between 2001 and 2011. Nearly half the babies were newborn, and most were infected as a result of dogs or cats licking them. Four died.

Or Haemophilus aphrophilus, responsible for causing brain abscesses and inflammation of the heart.

Or Dipylidium caninum – the double-pored dog tapeworm, the human excretion of which is always a favourite at parties. (Depending on which sort of parties you go to.)

And never forget the virtually unculturable (it’s really tough to grow it in a lab) Capnocytophaga canimorsus responsible for nearly doing for a 70-year-old woman in London earlier this year.

Statistically, you are extremely unlikely to get an horrific infection from allowing your dog (or cat – they’re hardly innocent in all this microbiological mayhem) lick your face. However, you are even less likely to get an horrific infection if you don’t allow your dog (or cat) to lick your face.

I know which route I’ll be taking. And I don’t even have a cat.

That SAMJ wedding ring paper

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Incoming DM on twitter:

This seems to be potential blog-fodder for you.

I looked. It was. Oh my, it was.

Are you married? Of course you are. Or perhaps you’re not. Maybe “it’s complicated”, although to be honest, it really shouldn’t be too difficult to work out since it’s a rather binary state of affairs (no pun intended).

We all recognise that one of the enduring symbols of marriage is the wedding ring. If you are married, you can always glance down and instantly remember that you are married. How far do most of us glance down? To the fourth finger on our left hand, of course, as tradition dictates. I say “most of us”, because if you’re in rural Limpopo, there is somewhere else you can stick it.

Hence a recent paper (A Fhima & N Lahouel, 2016) in the South African Medical Journal:

We report a case of penile strangulation with a wedding ring in an adult man who presented at Van Velden Hospital casualty department, Limpopo, South Africa.

Meh. Penile strangulation with a wedding ring. We’ve all done it*.

Penile strangulation is a rarely described medical emergency. Removal of the strangulating object is challenging, with a lack of proper guidelines.

Already, this is good. But the detail is better. Much, much better:

A 28-year-old man presented to the casualty department of Van Velden Hospital, which is in a rural part of Limpopo Province, South Africa…

Yes. And?

…accompanied by his mother.

u wot m8?

micdrop

Ag, nooit! How do we think that phone call went, then?

Hi Mum. Hoe gaan dit?
No, no, I’m fine thanks.
Er… just wondering if you were doing anything this evening? Any plans?
I… er… It’s just I need a lift.
Where? Oh, nowhere really. Maybe the… hospital. A bit.
Why? Oh, no particular reason. Just…

[whispers] …please hurry.

And when they got there…

His penis was severely swollen and blue, and constricted with a ring (wedding ring) at the middle section. The patient reported that he had applied the ring 4 hours previously…

Why would anyone do that?

…for erotic reasons…

My question still stands. Why would anyone do that?
What were you thinking?
Where on earth do you get that sort of idea? The idea that putting an inflexible metal band of limited diameter around a bit of your body that is… well… that is known for “getting bigger” is a good idea?

…on the recommendation of friends.

Ah. Suddenly all is explained. “Friends”, ne? Again, let’s try to place ourselves as a fly on the wall when that conversation took place. How do you get to the point in a chat with your mates when one (or more) of them suggest that slipping your wedding ring off your finger and over your winkie might be a good way to obtain some sort of sexual gratification? I mean, I remember at the braai on Sunday when my group of friends were recommending putting an orange in one’s mouth and a bin bag over one’s head in an effort to improve the quality of one’s (self) love life, but they’d never suggest putting one’s wedding ring… well… anywhere.
Still, let’s have a bit of superfluous information to complete the horrific mental picture, shall we?

His wife had delivered 2 weeks ago by caesarean section.

At this point, I was most amazed that someone who would choose to do something like this was actually married.
Then I remembered what he’d got stuck on his willy. Look, it’s been a long day. Already.

The penis was erect and blue and the patient was in severe pain.

Now, I should point out right now that there are some pictures. I thought long and hard (STOP SNIGGERING AT THE BACK!) about putting them on here. And I thought that I wouldn’t. It’s up to you if you want to click through and see… see “stuff”.

If you do want to see the effect of four hours of penile strangulation with a wedding ring in an adult man click here.

What’s wrong with you?

Back to the story. Once you’ve got a wedding ring stuck on your bits, how do the doctors get it off?

With difficulty.

First off, you try the string method:

We first attempted to use the string method to remove the ring, with the patient under sedation with ketamine. However, this failed because of excessive swelling.

Then you try…

…using an orthopaedic oscillating saw.

*involuntary clench* But:

The ring proved too wide and strong, with limited space due to swelling.

And then… well, then you try using an aspiration method.

Multiple puncture aspirations were applied with a 20 mL syringe and a pink needle.

*immediate reclench* But suddenly:

The oedema subsided and the ring was successfully removed.

Oedema being the clinical term for swelling. Because being stabbed multiple times with a 20mL syringe and a pink needle in your… er… pink needle will cause your oedema to subside. Fairly rapidly, I’d imagine.

The patient was admitted and treated with broad-spectrum antibiotics and analgesia. Within 3 days he had recovered completely and was discharged. One month later, the patient was reviewed as an outpatient. He reported full recovery.

And they all lived happily ever after.

Possibly, anyway.

If you take nothing away from this clearly cautionary tale, then you’re an idiot. If you do take something away from this cautionary tale, then it’s surely got to be that you should refrain from putting your (or anyone else’s) wedding ring on your member.

Just. Don’t.

 

* obviously no. No, we haven’t.

“Thanks” Jacques