I was at the till at PicknPay this morning, having done my usual Monday morning check of all the expired produce that they continue to stock on their shelves. (This morning’s list featured “fresh” fish, cauliflower, broccoli and naan bread, with dates ranging from the 21st to the 24th. Lovely.) (We’ve been here before, remember?)
While waiting for the cashier to total up my shopping, I heard a baby crying somewhere behind me. No biggie: I am aware that babies will do this from time to time. The only odd thing about this one was that it sounded rather like a cat. Another cry, and I turned around because it really did sound like a cat, and the simply reason for that was that it was a cat.
There was a man holding a wrapped cat three checkouts away from me.
Obviously, everyone – including the many staff present – now being alerted to the fact that there was a man carrying a pet around in a food retailer, immediately asked him to leave the premises along with his disease-ridden feline. Except of course, they didn’t.
Food safety, standards and hygiene obviously don’t count for much at this “flagship” store of our local number one two supermarket chain.
You know I love a bit of microbiology, so here’s a short list of things that cats can give you (these are obviously just microbiological things, not airy-fairy things like “unconditional love” or stuff like that:
Oscar has reached the stage in life where he is still a kitten in his behaviour, but not any longer in his appearance. Sort of a cat teenager. Oscar has a very short attention span, and is currently programmed to check out everything he sees, like some obsessively exploratory robot.
And I think that this particularly brilliant image of Oscar needs memeing.
There’s even a sensible and convenient amount of space left above and below for the caption(s). That’s really thoughtful, clever photography, right there. Genius.
I’m going to be using this to depict my fairly regular moments of horror as I make various realisations about South Africa and discoveries about life in general.
Do you have a dog? Of course you do. Or perhaps you don’t. Either way, there’s good evidence that allowing your dog to lick you (this is apparently the dog version of a kiss) could lead to all sorts of nasty stuff happening to you.
It may seem like a harmless display of affection, but allowing your pet to ‘kiss’ you could be dangerous – or even fatal.
Or Haemophilus aphrophilus, responsible for causing brain abscesses and inflammation of the heart.
Or Dipylidium caninum – the double-pored dog tapeworm, the human excretion of which is always a favourite at parties. (Depending on which sort of parties you go to.)
And never forget the virtually unculturable (it’s really tough to grow it in a lab) Capnocytophaga canimorsus responsible for nearly doing for a 70-year-old woman in London earlier this year.
Statistically, you are extremely unlikely to get an horrific infection from allowing your dog (or cat – they’re hardly innocent in all this microbiological mayhem) lick your face. However, you are even less likely to get an horrific infection if you don’t allow your dog (or cat) to lick your face.
I know which route I’ll be taking. And I don’t even have a cat.